What's in a word?

First let me just say that K's goat-penguin plate from yesterday was amazing! When I started reading that post I have to say I was expecting to be underwhelmed. I mean what could a small penguin plate do that would blow my mind. But was I wrong. People are so cool. Conceptualising and then actualising that image. People are the best. And so are goat-penguins. 

But not everything is so cool. Like marketers and fashion websites. Yesterday I got an email from an Australian online fashion retailer that announced "Our presummer swimwear is in!"   That's a pretty liberal interpretation of "presummer".  Me, I'd consider presummer the period just before summer, also known as spring. A time where you may be actually considering swimming. But I guess technically winter is presummer too, if by presummer you mean any time in the year that is before summer. Tonight the expected minimum is 2 degrees. So you can keep your presumer swimwear to yourself!

And welcome home mate!

The to-do list (PM)

When I was a teenager I worked at an ice-cream shop in Elsternwick. Actually I worked there into my very early twenties. You can bet that summertime was crazy time at an ice-cream shop. Often when I think of summer, I think of this one Saturday in early summer when I worked the morning shift which finished at around 1PM. Something you may not realise about an ice-cream shop is that in summer it gets effing hot in there, the heat and movement and exhaust of all the freezers. So this one Saturday was really busy, serving scoops, writing on ice-cream cakes, stocking the freezers. By the end of the shift I was really hot and sticky and after work I drove straight to Brighton beach and went swimming in my underwear and probably a t-shirt and then I went home. It was the first beach swim of that summer and I just remember it feeling like truly the best thing, the only way, really, to welcome summer. But that was a different time, without babies and with a beach only 5 minutes away.

We can’t all be so lucky all the time. Still, I guess goingto Europe for a couple of months is pretty good. The summeriest thing I’ll probably get up to this week will be a trip to Fitzy pool. If I’m lucky.

K, you should definitely eat those icy poles on the hot days. Maybe even a Slurpee. Also, I suggest wearing some ultimate summer outfits during the week. The benefit of missing out on summer is that you can wear your reallyt great summer kits all week and then not get a) tired of them by the end of summer; or b) disappointed in yourself for not staying true to your summer fashion vision when after 3 months of hot-ass heat all your dressing is about just getting by and not dressing well. 

By god, this could be a week of perfect summer outfits, and therefore a summer of perfect outfits. Mate, don't mess it up!

The winter question (AM)

I know that every year around this time I write a post about how much I love autumn. How the light is so beautiful, the weather, when good is so damn good, and the clothes! All my favourite clothes were made for autumn. But this blog is 3 years old! I think you know all too well my love of autumn. So this year I'll spare you that post. Only problem is that while writing this paragraph I've gotten so side tracked thinking about all of autumn's awesome features I forgot what I really wanted to talk about. 

...

Hey I remembered! I think it's time to publicly revisit a question I pretty much ask myself every year at this time. That is, could I, should I, wear a winter hat. Oh I'm not talking about a beanie. I wear them. You gotta. I'm talking about some kind of more femme felt hat. 

Something like this: 

You know how I like to fashion myself after Woody Allen women of yesteryear. 

But is it possible for a normal woman to wear such a hat? I feel like this kind of hat could be a partial solution to the inevitable frizzy hair issues that abound during this wet months. You see I've reached a new positive position on my hair that I will tell you all about soon. I think that I need more positive ways to approach my hair in the wet season. Do these hats look glamourous? Or stupid?

Can they only exist in a fantasy winter wonderland, right next to ponchos? An item I fantasise about wearing (blankets outside? Yes please!) but know I never would. I feel like in reality the brimmed felt hat is an item for off-duty models only but maybe I'm being too narrow minded. Maybe it's time a gal like me embraced it. 

?

Printed pants (AM)

I bet you don't need me to tell you about the proliferation of printed pants. You go through years, fashion movement after fashion movement, with nothing like a printed pant, funny colours maybe, a check here or there and then, whammo, wack ass prints everywhere! And first you think, "that is some wack shit, what are people thinking?!" And then as time wears on, you wear down and start thinking, "Should I be wearing printed pants?" First you push it out of your mind knowing you are probably just tired and weak but then you start seeing things, thinking, "But maybe they are cool".

It's not that I was seeing random women in printed pants and coveting them. Let me make it clear that I think the majority of print pants look shit, it was the Obus Instagram feed that started me thinking maybe I was missing out on something.

  

The thing is that I look at these pants now and I know they are ugly, but for some reason I kept thinking about them. This print also comes in a legging which I thought may be acceptable. Until, of course, I realised none of it was acceptable. I don't even really love the print, but something about their styling on Instagram just kept me going back to look at them. 

I'm happy to report that so far my legs are still only clad in block colours of black and blue, and with the promise of normal jeans at my finger tips I think I am out of this print pant madness. I think. I know that if I ever fell I would have to confess my folly to you all. That's how I role, I'm a great confessor of my most embarrassing acts, let's hope, friends, that day never comes.

Summer whites (AM)

White clothes in winter can be really nice. Though me, I tend to opt for cream in that cold season. But when summer comes around I want white, white, white. It's so fresh and cooling you know. And if you can pair it with grey, even better. Mmmmmm cold.

It is why, despite a long-running, one-sided feud with Gorman I had to be the bigger man and buy these shoes for summer.

In fact they are super light grey, practically white, basically mixing my two favourite summer colours into one single colour. Well played,  Gorman, you may have won this round...

It is also why I have been wanting a white Swatch for ages.

I finally bought one when we were in America and then lost it shortly after returning home. But this weekend, while crawling under the bed Baby saw something stuck between the mattress and the slats he liked the look of*, and hey presto, I got my watch back just in time to fit into all my fantasy summer outfits. Yeah boyyeeee.

Also, this love of white is, I guess, why I can't stop thinking about buying these.

And, if I'm to be honest, by the end of the week they will probably be mine.

What I really want is to dress in white and light grey all the time when it's hot, but the sweat and chilli oil of summer means sometimes I gotsta dress more practical like, you know. That's why ya gotta accesorise. Aight?! White!

*Swatches tick really, really loudly, I guess I stuffed the watch under the mattress in a sleepy stupor.

The Wayne Carey Workout (PM)

Did you see that Billy Conelly show about the bears? Those guys have it really tough. Unless you are talking about the kind of bear that wears tops and no pants. Those guys seem to have it pretty sweet.

Speaking of the Wayne Carey ensemble it's important to note that the key to the hilarity is that Wayne Carey wasn't wearing underwear in that story. There's nothing funny about a t-shirt and socks if you've got undies on. The pyjama ensemble if champions, that is. Bare legs with a t-shirt is summer's answer to tracksuit pants. But in the Wayne Carey story some young woman walked into a hotel room where Carey sat drunk and beshirted yet pantsless on the end of his bed. Now that's funny.

You can call me old fashioned but undies are usually the first garment on and the last garment off when I'm doing any kind of dressing or undressing. I guess I don't want to know how Wayne Carey gets dressed and I sure as he'll don't want to know how he gets undressed. 

The upshot of all this is that if you weren't wearing underwear yesterday mate, kudos to you for your weird and slightly gross workout. If you were wearing undies, I'm afraid to say you were just another working out at home on washing day.