This year (PM)

Hey, yeah, hi everybody! And hi, 2014! I mean sure, we met 20 days ago but I guess I just wanted to publicly say hi and we here at Miss Soft Crab are really excited about you. We've got some big things planned.

Of course it's not going to be all beer and Christian Bale mind you.

 

I have what is essentially a Welsh brother-in-law and he has lived in Australia for more than 10 years and I still have trouble understanding what he is saying half the time. Especially on the phone. So mate, let me advise you to double check everything! Especially in your line of work. But seriously folks, Wales is going to rule!

 

Wales! That's some pretty shit right there.

Me, I’ll just be here in Australia all year. Most likely. But I’m going to do some exciting shit too, you know. First up, move house. Oh yeah it’s been a long time coming but it is actually going to happen in about 3 or maybe 4 weeks.

Scenes from my soon to be new home

And while I’m confident I’ll be able to understand everything being said by my new neighbours moving is not going to be without its challenges. Just this morning I was looking at a pile of shoes that I own and never wear and wondering what the eff to do with them. I mean, I have some great shoes but will I ever wear them again? A pair of black and white striped pointy-toed, kitten-heeled ankle boots I coveted for so long in my early twenties, finally bought and haven’t worn in a decade,  is it time to say goodbye? And all the other things I own like that? I’m not going to have the storage for them anymore. I think 2014 may be the year I have to become an adult and move the fuck on with my life and my belongings. It's time to say goodbye to things. No, I'm not talking about my collection of rare silverchair releases that I never look at. They are coming with me, but other things. You know like shoes and clothes trinkets I was given 15 years ago that sit in the bottom of a drawer. Yeah 2014! I'm going to grow the hell up during you! That is some pretty exciting stuff right there!

Like K I also have some pretty exciting things planned for March, but I am so exhausted after making that resolve to grow up that I'll have to talk about that another day. Gimme a break, it's the first day back at MSC headquarters.

This Year (AM)

Oh, hi everyone.
It has been 2014 for a whole 20 days and so the Misses Soft Crab thought we might as well get this crabby show on the road!
But before I do, I just want to say that I can't believe the year 2000 was 14 years ago. I didn't really take note of that fact until I wrote the above sentence and it blows my mind slightly. The year 2000 used to be the FUTURE and now it's 14 years ago. Wow. But let's not waste any more time like I've wasted most of the last 14 years. Just jokes! I've only wasted some of the last 14 years, and most of the years before that. Just jokes! Kind of. Anyway, let's move on.

So...do we all have exciting 2014s planned? I hope so. The Misses Soft Crab are totally going to make it a year to remember.

First of all, the Misses Soft Crab are going to be JUST FINE this Friday doing things like going to work and participating in the rat race when we should be seeing Blur with Chickpea and Strawberry. We are going to start making it a year to remember by being just fine on Friday, so please don't worry about us.

In a few weeks I will turn 35. That's something to remember (please, you guys). Just jokes! You don't have to acknowledge my birthday. I don't like to make a big deal out of it really. Kind of. It's complicated. But it's definitely happening.

Then the winter olympics will start and all that snow on our TVs will make future heatwaves easier to take. I thought a lot about snow during the heatwave.  I'm looking forward to the winter olympics for some reason. Hey, do you know what they call the winter olympics in Norway? The Olympics. Ha!

But I guess the most memorable thing for me this year will be the bit where I live in Wales for six months. Wales! One of only two countries with a drag on its flag!

But evidently only one of these flag dragons knows that holding a white orb in each claw is going to make it quite hard for them to get from A to B. Catch up, Bhutan!

The country where these people were born:

Also Michael Sheen, who we all enjoyed so much as Wesley Snipes in 30 Rock.
It's pretty exciting, isn't it? I'm going over for work and so every day I will get to sit in meetings where people speak in Welsh accents the whole time. If all goes well, I will leave at the end of March and be home just after Grand Final Day so basically miss the whole 2014 AFL home and away season. But they have the internet now, so I should be OK
I am hoping that I have a...ahem...whale of a time!

But there are other memorable things that are going to happen before then, right Mate? Right?

I will leave it to the PM for J to tell you guys about her rad 2014.

We have to talk (PM)

My lady hermano J is right. Quality, not quantity is the future of Miss Soft Crab. Like a bottle of tabasco, there's only a little bit in it but every drop is precious and packs a hard fiery punch. Miss Soft Crab is going to be like that tiny tiny bottle, but we need your help to determine when to deliver our fiery payload.
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We have to talk (AM)

So... um...I don't want to alienate you or anything but it is unlikely that you know the pressure of writing a daily blog. A blog that every day gets hundred of page views and at least three people actually arriving here on purpose. You guys, you know the expression with great power comes great responsibility...? Yeah, you know what I'm saying. And while the Misses Soft Crab may not have actual power or responsibility we do have aspirations to greatness. Or at least goodness. Well, we want a shit hot blog. And so, it's time we told you something. After this week Miss Soft Crab will be appearing new and fresh on your internet twice a week. Quality not quantity.

"What?!" I hear you ask, "But you have already been supplying such high quality in great quantity." I know guys, I know. But we are just two ladies. Two hombres. But chicks. And we don't want to live fast and die young, you know.

So in discussing how this would work K and I talked about which days would be the best two for Miss Soft Crab to run. First we thought maybe Wednesday and Friday, because everybody needs some fresh online content on Friday right. But then we thought but what about when you get to work on Monday and you just need a little something something to start off your morning before you really get your work started.  So how about Monday and Friday? Is that too far apart? We don't want you to forget about us. "Never!" I hear you cry. Oh, sure, you say that now, but time passes, memories fade. Things change, people change.

What days would y'all like? C'mon, hit me back just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan this is Stan. leave a comment. Let us know. Please.