FC in Kyoto

I guess lots of  people come to Kyoto for the shrines, the beautiful breeze that comes from the mountains, across the river and takes the edge off the heat of the city. Or they come for the food. We have had a shit hot time with all those things, but the indoor play centre and this slide that looks like a cock are my favourite things about Kyoto. 

 

 

Is this a fish?

Take a long hard look at yourself

This is a pile of fish called gaebuls and it's what you get if you decide to Google "fish that looks like a penis"

Yesterday K texted me to ask if I had any found cock pictures on my phone and I had to tell her, 'No'. I can't even remember the last time I took a found cock picture. It really depressed me. I mean, I'm just trying to get through the day, get from A to B while making sure my children are OK and when was the last time I stopped to smell the roses, or better still, appreciate something that isn't meant to look like a cock but does. Or an amusingly placed cock graffito. When was the last time I did something for me?! It's time I took a long hard look at myself, reset, prioritise and just find the beauty and hilarious cocks in the world. So, thanks, Mate, we all need a reminder sometimes to think about what's important.

I got nothin' (PM)

I've got nuthin too! But you know who has something? Whoever has this hanging over their staircase. 

Those guys have really made it. 

Found (0(k goes global

Hi guys, you know I wouldn't usually start the week off with something like FC, but let's look at the facts.

1. FC is a winner every time.

2. In the very recent past K just stepped off a plane after a real long flight. Do we want her to worry about responding to a post? Hell no! So we are giving girlfriend the day off! (Unless you want to chime in, Matey. Always welcome on your own blog.)

3. I have some excellent FC that I think really pay homage to K's trip. Because I have cock from close to home and far flung cock and I just thought it would be timely to look at it today. So let's get into it. Shall we?

Soon, we will look at some international FC, but first I want to celebrate the gifted cocks from friends closer to home. We all remember the time a penis-like eggplant turned up on my phone from an unknown number, right? Of course we do. Well, being a great brother, Russeth did not end there. One night I got a delightful message with this in it.

HAHAHAHAHAHA! This time I had a reasonable idea who it was from. At least I could narrow it down to a few of Russeth's freinds. And guys, there is nothing that warms the cockles of your hear like the receipt of hilarious cock in your inbox. The next night I got this:

 

I can only assume that the giant phallus behind that footy player's head is a symbol of the Fremantle Dockers ground. It's dockers guys, with an 'o'! Idiots.

Obviously, FC has really touched the hearts and minds of many. In the early days of FC all the way over in the US of A, Mondonna and her friends had a field day with it. And things got real creative.

 

Great work, guys!

Here's a picture CarLovers sent me from the city of food and romance, gay Paris. Onc!

Courgette

But by far the most exotic cock is this one, simple and classic, found in Valparaiso by Toni. Thanks Toni! FC in Chile! Nice!

It just shows you can find cock anywhere in anything. But let's finish off closer to home. This delight was found by K herself. Mate, let's hope your travels are full of fun and FC!

Eeeww, chewy!

(Actually) Wordless Wednesday (PM)

Return to found (*(k

Well guys, usually I wouldn't just jump into post like this without a little introduction, but I think that found cocks really need no introduction. So let's get the ball(s) rolling!


J:  You know yet another reason why I can't wait for winter to be over? So I can get out of the damn house and find some damn cock art! If it weren't for the kindness of friends (and strangers) I could barely even contribute to this FC experience. But, thanks to friends, strangers, and the kid that drew this, I can.

K: Mate, you're so right. Genuinely creative indoor cock art is really hard to find. If it weren't for public transport, it would have been a long winter indeed.

Happily, Jewel station provided me with this:

Touch on, readers!

J: Thank god for PT, ay? Not that I ever see any cock on the train.

You know FC seemed to really strike a chord with people. For example, all the way over in LA Mondonna really embraced FC and posted several pictures of her and her friends with their FCs on FB. And Phibber posted a constructed food cock from gay Paris on my FB page. But since, weirdly, both those guys left FB I can't show them to you. 

We apologise, but due to technical difficulties we can not show you global FC.

K: FC speaks to all of us.

Just quickly, before we move on from public transport cock, I just want to highlight something I spotted on the tram the other night, and made Legsley photograph for me.  

It's hard to make out, but it's basically a biro drawing of cock and balls on someones hand. And not just anyone, some totally respectable looking guy who looked like he was on his way home from work or something. Right there on his hand: cock and balls. 

J: HAHAHA! Such a good one. Like he was just doodling a doodle at work! HAHA!

Speaking of inappropriate FC remember how at Blizzie's wedding we couldn't stop making everything into FC? Like this random clip and the vodka figs Miguel had the foresight to bring!
 

K: We really could not stop turning things in to FC at that wedding. Which is strange, given how perfectly tasteful everything was. But I guess we were all so happy we couldn't help but do one of our favourite things.

Ok, so I have another FC that I want to talk about, but sadly do not have a picture of. It was basically a giant FC drawn on the side of a white house on my street. This house is on a corner, so it has an entire pure white wall just begging to be drawn on. Happily, someone stepped up to the plate and drew this extremely large FC in  black texta and by extremely large I mean mother-flipping huge.

I saw it from my car as I was driving down the street and chuckled all the way home. I went back yesterday to get a photo of it but disaster! Someone had already painted over it. 

Censorship blows!

Thank god there is no censorship on the internet where I found this:

I will never stop finding this funny.

J: I can't believe that cock got painted over so quickly. It sounds like a real good one and I think we probably would all have been better off having seen it. Luckily, though, I have a real doozie to finish on.

You see a couple of months ago I was innocently sitting at work when a picture was texted to me from a number I didn't recognise and it was...amazing! I could barely believe my eyes! When I texted back asking who it was, and thinking it was a friend whose number I'd lost, it turned out to be a stranger! A colleague of Russeth's.

I think this really shows what a great sense of humour Mother Nature must have. And the fact that it got to the supermarket and into the hands of a friend of Russeth's shows how generous Fate is!  Take a look guys.

K: Mother Nature, you've done it again. 

Just some stuff I ate and saw and thought about (AM)

So, I don't know if you guys have ever noticed, but basically this blog is just some stuff we ate and saw and thought about. Sure sometimes that stuff comes from our brains. But sometimes, when we are lucky, that stuff gets caught on camera.

So I thought you may be interested in seeing some of the stuff I've eaten, seen, and thought about lately. Here goes.

First, some things I ate:

Jokies, I didn't eat a pigeon. I just saw this pigeon drinking some water in the city and thought it looked really cute.

I did eat this pie though. After it was cooked of course. When it looked like this:

It had a delicious buttery pastry and a filling of chilli beans, corn and potato. When it was cooked the eggs were a little runny. And yes, it was DELICIOUS! Couldn't eat that in summer, no sirree.

You know what else I ate recently? Some delicious carrots and beetroot.

Maybe it doesn't look so appetising, but it does look like a found cock! HAHA!

But seriously folks, recently  I was at the zoo and I saw so many mind blowing things, including some green frogs that sat really flat on leaves and had adorable peaceful smiles. They were to small to photograph well, but these iguanas weren't! Iguanas are awesome!

 Oh, and did you know I saw Prince recently?

 Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Just like I couldn't resist taking a photo of these Twilight Edition Barbies K and I saw recently. Yes, that is Bella Barbie and Sparkleface Barbie. WTF?! Look at their faces? They look nothing like Bella and Sparkleface. Mattel just think they can just stick a Barbie in a box with packaging telling you they are Twilight Barbie and people will buy it?! In fact I'm pretty sure that Sparkleface Barbie is just a Chuck Bass Barbie repackaged. What? Why wouldn't they have Gossip Girl Barbie? Crazy times people! Anything is possible.

Found (0(K

When I was going to Golden Plains this year I picked Legsly up from Geelong train station so we could go together. I was down that way and I was the one with the car so she caught the train down to meet me for a ride. She told me a story about the train ride during which, while stopped at a train station, three rowdy youths ran up to the train and drew cocks on the window of the stationary train. Just stationary for the drop off and pick up. All three of the guys. Now that is dedication to drawing cocks. God, how I wish I'd been there!

If you've spent any time around these parts you may remember cock on a tenner and cock in a guac or cock on a 'nana. But since then what?! Good question!

Chickpea wrote to me a little while ago with the message "Are you still collecting them" with this picture attached:

Cute isn't it?! And then I realised that I hadn't found a picture like that worth photographing in a long time. I told Chickers I hadn't found any good ones lately and the very next day she sent me this one. I like it because of its crudity. The simplicity of it. Someone just thought yep, I'm gonna draw a cock and then they knocked one out.

Anyway, I guess I'm not the only one interested in finding cock. Let's see what K has to say about it!

K: Thanks mate, I do have some things to say about found cock. As you say, at its simplest FC is about somewhere someone saying  yep, I'm gonna draw a cock. And that's OK by me. So natural and spontaneous. I mean, who among us can say they have never been swept by that mood?

Of course, this is harder to do if you're a perfectionist, like I assume the person who made the following FC is:

This seems to me to be the creation of someone who doesn't like to draw outside the lines. Great that he/she is having a go but geez guy/girl, have a little fun with it!

J: Yeah, losen up.

Still, I appreciate that there is room for the spontaneous and the more premeditated. Like this cock o' rice that Chikpea and I saw a picture of shortly after I realised it was time to start collecting again.

 

K: Nyuck nyuck nyuck. Cock o' rice. Way to have fun at work, whoever did that!

You know who else is having fun? These little punks, who used found materials to create something quite special:

Strictly speaking, it's more found poon than found cock, but it's totally in the spirit of what we're talking about here today. When I stumbled across these guys at work,  I felt like I had just discovered Basquait. This, from folks so young? Unbelievable. I can not wait to see how their work develops. 

J: Well, while we are off cockic topic and talking about men at work, check out this babycino Baby received when we were in Sydney a while ago!

Naturally Baby could not wait to get stuck into it.

K: HAHAHAHA. People can be so great.

Such as your Mum, mate. As evidenced at passover dinner, when she turned a blind eye while we laughed and laughed because the horseradish on the seder plate looked so much like a cock.

Due to technical difficulties we can not show you the horseradish from our seder plate. Luckily horseradish cock and balls are not rare, thank you Internet for providing this replacement.

We didn't make it so, the earth made it so! We just bore witness.

J: HAHAHA! Yeah, that horseradish cock was such a good one. Cocks of nature! An accidental cock is almost better than one put there by design. I mean they are the true found cock, right?! Take this piece of cock rock that I found at the same place as the cock o' rice. These pink phalluses were on every table! What?

But I think my favourite accidental was this one:

 

The projection of a microphone onto the shirt of a groom giving a speech.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!

K: I don't think we can top that, Mate.

But that won't stop us searching, always searching, for the next FC. And readers, please take up the search yourselves, if you haven't already. Perhaps some of you have some FCs of your own you'd like to share? If so, please post them on the Miss Soft Crab Facebook page - I'm sure I speak for the whole Crab community when I say we would love to see them.

J: It's true. That last one is gold. But I would love to finish up with something a little classic. In fact it is something that Russeth did and I saw it in a Facebook album of G-Force's from a recent fishing trip they went on with some other cats. I really love the simpleness of the drawings, and that the whole thing is so complete. You know?  I just think it is the purest example of cock vandalism.