Bruce who?

Here's an interesting fact: when I started typing 'Bruce' into my phone internet browser it first offered up 'Bruce Springsteen' (fair enough) then 'Bruce (electorate of New Zealand' which surprised me because I was looking for Bruce Willis and the fact that Safari thought I was more interested in an electorate of NZ than Bruce Willis really made me feel my age. I guess people don't really care about Bruce Willis anymore. In fact I don't either and I was only googling him because Instagram suggested some woman called Emma Hemingway Willis who had all these photos of Bruce in her feed and I initially thought she must be some lesser known daughter from some unknown wife he had before Demi until I realised that she wasn't his daughter at all. She was his wife. His daughter aged wife. Then I decided to read Bruce's Wikipedia page until I realised I knew everything I needed to know about Bruce Willis, including how old I am for bothering. Ugh.

Treat yo'self

Last week I was walking down Smith Street with Little Bean when I suddenly realised I was starving. Minutes later I walked past Peko Peko. Or to be more accurate I walked past the window of Peko Peko until I got to the door at which point I walked in the door. Why the hell not enjoy some delicious Japanese for lunch?! As I looked at the menu I felt torn, I wanted something delicious, satisfying, fresh, hearty. I decided I wanted the spinach salad and maybe a croquette. Maybe one tempura prawn too. But I felt like that would be too expensive and I thought maybe it was a jerk act ordering just one croquette and one tempura prawn. But hell, they are on the menu as single items, why shouldn't I order those things. And why shouldn't I spend an extra five bucks on my lunch just once in a while. Treat yo'self! Is this that thing people talk about? Women who can't say no, who don't ask for what they want because society makes them think they don't deserve it? I think it is! Or something like it. And let me tell you that lunch was delicious because I ordered all the things I wanted!!!

I don't know if it's society's fault or my fault or what, but why the hell should a person think they can't order the things from a menu that they want. I mean that is fucking ridiculous! Ladies (and gentlemen), it is time to treat yo'self. I mean, if the lobster is five times the price of everything on  the menu and you're broke, I guess I can see why you'd order something else, but if you've decided to eat at a restaurant just eat what you want.

And to be very clear I am talking both figuratively and literally here. If there is one benefit to aging it is seeing the world more clearly and seeing yourself more clearly. Which I guess is two benefits. Which is great, because if your tallying things up the other side may look heavily weighted (hair greying, hair loss, wrinkles, body decay, illness, more frequent death of loved ones, I better stop here before shit gets out of hand). On the plus side the benefits are also more substantial than the often (but not entirely) superficial elements on the list of disadvantages to aging.

Last night I went to a friend's house for fondue. She invited me and because I didn't know most of the people going and because it was a school night and I thought I should be home to perform my maternal duties I very nearly didn't go. But then I thought, 'Treat yo'self!' I used to hate going places where I didn't know anyone but now I just don't care about it so much. It is basically just habit that makes me think I want to avoid situations like that, not my actual feelings. And boy howdy that is liberating. I mean, imagine missing out on fondue because you were nervous around strangers! And in case you haven't had it for a while, let me remind you that fondue is delicious!

I guess what I'm learning is that by being open to listening to yourself and doing the things you want you to do you'll get to eat a lot of delicious food. So why the hell wouldn't you!?

Why is Legolas so creepy? (AM)

We're all getting older. You, me, that guy. And that's cool. Better old than dead, right? I don't mind it so much. I don't like the pigment spot on my chest or the fact that my hair is getting even worse with age. But I quite like the fact that I feel more emboldened to wear lipstick and heels. LB seems to feel sad he doesn't party on any more, but in truth when he does he complains about that too. I've also begun to appreciate not being beautiful. I don't mean that in any kind of "please say I'm beautiful" way, I just mean, I'm ok-looking I guess and that's kind of great because imagine being beautiful and then losing your looks. That would be way more depressing. Why am I talking about this? Is it because one of the Misses Soft Crabs celebrated a birthday this week? No. It's because I saw a preview for The Hobbit the other day.

I realise I am a little late to this party but I guess I am just not that interested in those films so didn't pay much attention when the recent movie came out, but after telling Baby about gollums my Mum and Baby watched some Hobbit clips. And I joined in.

I thoroughly enjoyed the Lord of the Rings movies, they were epic and exciting and all that good stuff you want in an adventure film. Plus they had a selection of hunks. Naturally, I only (mainly) had eyes for Aragorn. Because, well...

 But that didn't mean I couldn't appreciate Legolas. An ethereal pretty boy leaping around, whipping out his bow and arrow and picking up distant murmurings with his heightened elf senses. I mean, I am human, I am not totally immune to the elvish charm.

But I didn't think about Legolas much and on the whole I've never been a huge Orlando Bloom fan. He's fine and all but not very interesting so I certainly never thought about him much, but when I saw him in the ad for The Hobbit I was a bit horrified.

 I couldn't really find a picture that captured how terrible he looks in it. Kind of puffy and definitely weird. Maybe it is a trick of the make up or CGI. But why would you use those powers for evil, like puffing up Legolas and making him look like some creepy puffy elf that has been on a bender for the last three years? Use CGI and make up for good not evil! So maybe it isn't age that has aged him. Maybe rather than being thankful that I was never a pretty young thing I should just be grateful I am in charge of my own make up and live a CGI-free lifestyle.