WTF Wednesday (AM)

I'm pretty sure that over the summer the regular people that make ads were on holidays and the mailroom kids were running the show. Have you watched TV recently? Ads are ridiculous.

Have you seen the Gaviscon ad? Gaviscon are obviously so embarrassed about it they don't even have it on the TV adverts page on their website.

It's a pretty standard indigestion medication ad, some people are eating and looking stressed, they obviously have pained tummies, a voice over tells you how great Gaviscon is and a person looks happy.

But right when they are trying to tell you that 'three out of four Gaviscon users feel better after taking it' they show you a picture of a happy woman next to an unhappy man. I couldn't find an appropriate image to illustrate so instead I will show you this picture of R.Patz.

Anyway, I guess the unhappy man is meant to be a non-Gaviscon user, but instead the visual imagery suggests that they both took Gaviscon and that only one out of two people feel better after taking it. That you are just as likely to feel shit as happy. Do your job advertisers! Sheesh!

And have you  seen Helga's Sandwich Thins ad? To me, the product looks like a stale pita bread. The ad tells me that they are a "thin-style bread roll " and that you can have "more sandwich, less bread." Isn't a "thin-style bread roll" a piece of bread? I am not necessarily of the "more is more" school of thought, and yet I can't help but think that perhaps the best way of selling bread is not by telling people they want less bread.

 

WTF, advertisers?! You can do better. And if you can't you are in the wrong industry.

Haiku Thursday - Twilight Saga Edition (AM)

Haiku impressions of Edward Cullen
by K and J

I

Stupid Sparkleface
With his stupid sparkly face
Get a real face!

II

You can climb a tree
Really fast. Um, so what, guy!
So can possums! Dick.

III
Edward Cullen's best
Thing are his ever larger
Volvos. For reals guy.

IV

Girl found you're a vamp
By searching the internet.

That's really lame, guy.

V
I think vamps are hot
But somehow Cullen kills it
Pussy vamps aren't hot.

I'm afraid I don't have the answer

Well, in my humble opinion, you're not out of touch at all. All of those ads are gross, and the fact that so many ads are really gross would naturally make a thoughtful kid like you wonder whether you are missing something. It's normal. And you know, it was exactly that question that led to the birth of Go Fug Yourself.

Fun fact: apparently those fug girls were hanging out one day and saw a movie poster or ad or something that they found really fugly. They started discussing how there was so much fug around and that perhaps this wasn't because people had lost it and didn't know how to dress anymore, perhaps it was because people were consciously choosing to cultivate a fugly look. They hypothesised that perhaps fugly was the new pretty and voila, GFY was born.

But back to the advertisements you identified. That Transitions woman looks totally CGI to me. If she is a real woman, then I have to say I do not know what the world is coming to. She looks like she just stepped out of a game of Tekken. And keep in mind that I haven't played Tekken since about 2001, and that's what her look says to me.

As for the Wish lady, she really does seem to be walking the line between dead and undead. Maybe they are trying to capitalise on the whole vampire thing that is around these days. She does kind of look like a Cullen, what with her stupid sullen face and her crappy wardrobe. But what else would we expect from a nasty brand like Wish.

I remember when vampires were full of vim and vigour.
Remember this merry band of vamps everybody?
I miss those days.