Show(tunes) time! (PM)

I'm pretty much too cool for a lot of the schmaltzy shit K is into. But not musicals. I effing love musicals! Singing in the Rain! (Introduction to Hollywood Cinema A was a really good subject.) Annie! A little while ago Grease was on TV and Russeth and I had a real moment of mutual appreciation on Instagram, cause that movie is a real good time. I loved Cats as a kid (would probably love it now). Hedwig and the Angry Inch! I FUCKING LOVE THAT! Buffy (the musical episode)! I mean from Andrew Lloyd Webber to that East German transgender wannabe rock star, I love it all! Well, I love a lot of it. Basically I guess it comes down to the fact that music, singing and dancing are three of my favourite things and pretending there's a world where those things can spontaneously appear, well, that's just about the best thing ever, isn't it?

I don't know what Mrs K has against Gene Kelly. What a drag for her that she couldn't enjoy Singing in the Rain but great she may soon have the opportunity!

Living the dream (AM)

Australia is always accusing itself of suffering from tall poppy syndrome but have you seen how wild we go when an Australian wins an Oscar or gets cast as a super hero?! We love it! But you know, before a person wins an Oscar or is cast as a superhero they usually have to work really hard doing awesome things and I wonder why we don't talk about that more, about the people working hard on awesome things. Sure not everyone is going to play Thor or win an Oscar but there is lots of great stuff happening out there worth taking notice of. 

Melbourne musician Monica Sonand was working a day job and writing music on the side before deciding to move to LA to study film scoring and technical score engineering at UCLA. It wasn't long before she started getting work. Not just anywhere, mind you, no. Monica has been working at Hans Zimmer's Remote Control Productions as a Film Score Technical Engineer. Yes I said Hans Zimmer, the guy that has scored probably every second movie you've seen, from The Lion King to 12 Years a Slave. But we're not here to talk about Hans. 

While at Remote Control Productions Monica worked on the scores on an impressive list of films including Oliver Stone's Savages and Ron Howard's Rush, for which she had to watch Chris Hemsworth all day long.* Yep, the rest of us are definitely in the wrong line of work. And while we're on the topic of setting scores to Australian actors, Monica also created much of the music for TV series Chicago Fire, starring Jesse Spencer. Yep, bringing Aussies together even though Spencer is totally oblivious of the fact. Oh, the lot of the Film Score Technical Engineer, working alone in a dark studio while Jesse Spencer rides on a fire truck. 

Monica in the studio

But as if a move to Hollywood and a job alongside some of the industry's best names wasn't enough, this month Monica was in Switzerland for the Locarno Film Festival for the short film Thirst, to which she travelled with the film's director, Rachel McDonald and star, Melanie Griffith. 

Monica (right) with the Thirst team at Locarno

Monica and Rachel met through Remote Control on the film It's Complicated. When Rachel came to direct Thirst, she liked idea of working with a female composer and when she heard the piece Monica wrote for the film Rachel was sold. The piece became the theme of the film and no wonder! Check it out in the trailer. 

After hanging out in Switzerland with Melanie Griffith and a bunch of movie making whizzes I'm pretty sure Monica will be doing something awesome next. And now I'm starting to think I need a dream so I can pursue it and do something awesome too! 

*This job probably involved other stuff too, like, you know doing her actual job. 

Haiku Thursday (PM)

 

The week's highlights

I

Sure, got kinda wet

But I dug on that rain and 

Thunder! Break the drought.

II

I really loved Bruce

I just love the rock and roll

And legends of same

Never tear them apart (AM)

I saw a lot of ads for the INXS mini series that started last night and I felt pretty torn. I loved INXS when I was little. They were the band that made me realise how awesome and hot rock music could be. I loved them. I LOVED THEM! And when I hear them these days all those feelings come rushing back. INXS are really special to me. And that is why I felt both supremely drawn to and repelled by the mini series.

Also because I found the guy playing Michael Hutchence pretty repulsive. Of course Michael Hutchence himself had a slightly repulsive quality. But in that good way. He kind of had a creepy sexy thing going on. As a long-time fan of the pretty face even as a 10-year-old I was more drawn to Jon Farriss, but the draw of the Hutchence was strong. Creepy sexy, the force was strong with that one.

Anyway, for the sake of curiosity, and to report back to you guys, I watched INXS: Never Tear Us Apart. Needless to say within 30 seconds I hated it and my feelings didn't soften. Is it because INXS were probably a bunch of douches? Is it because this show was just shit and the acting pretty awful? Who can say. My understanding is that some of the Farriss brothers were involved with this program.You know, just like how they were involved with Rock Star: INXS. I guess that INXS had planned to have a Rolling Stones kind of career, I think Michael's death really fucked them. And fucked it for all of us too. I mean, why can't we just remember how good they were, why do we have to be subjected to the likes of JD Fortune or that tripe on TV last night. I watched a bunch of INXS videos on YouTube last night and you know what was about 75,000,000 times better than that stupid effing TV show? Everything INXS did in real life.



I do wonder how much say Andrew Farriss had in the making of the show. He was the most miserable bastard! "Let's not get a manager." "Let's not go on tour in America." "Let's not make the awesome album Listen Like Thieves." Shit, Andrew Farriss, I hope you are not really as miserable as you were in the mini series.


I guess part of the problem is that faking creepy sexy just means you are creepy. Faking musical genius just means you look pretentious. You have to be pretty special to fake that stuff and not surprisingly some shit made for Channel 7 was not special. Not at all.

The only good thing about that stupid show last night was the music. That was really good.

What I think about when I think about pop (PM)

Who is Pharell?

What is Blurred Lines?

How come I don't know anything about anything anymore? 

I guess it's because I don't read Smash Hits or TV Hits all the time like I used to. I guess we can thank 'real life' for that, forcing me to grow up and engage with 'real issues' and the 'real literature' that explores them (WHO weekly). 

If J is questioning what's right and wrong about a song and whether repeatedly listening to it is OK, then there is no, absolutely no hope for me. That girl is my pop shepherd, guiding me through the valley of 'no idea' in which I naturally dwell.

I can tell you that I saw a clip for a Jay-Z song called Picasso Baby on Rage the other night and wondered what it was all about.   

What I think about when I think about pop (AM)

If pop music is for the unquestioning masses why has Robin Thicke got me asking so many questions? 

Questions like:

Is it possible that a person can be bread to look like an eighties TV star because that's what his parents were?

A while ago before I had any idea who he was I'd see these little posters advertising a Robin Thicke tour or album or something and I'd think, "Who the fuck is Robin Thicke? By the looks of him I guess he's Alan Thicke's son." It's not that they look so similar it's just that he looks like a sitcom son. Turns out his mother was an actress on Days of Our Lives, so those are some serious TV genes. And doesn't Thicke* look like he just stepped off the set of Growing Pains? Or more likely Saved By the Bell. Like some kind of Screech turned "hunk" type in a dream sequence? Screech's "cool" cousin?

And does anyone else think its weird that a face can look so totally 80s/90s. I don't feel like it is just his styling. I think it's his face. WTF?!

And:

Is it ok to want to listen to a song a lot even if you are repulsed by the singer as long as Pharell is involved?

I asked myself this question a lot one night after I listened to Blurred Lines about 5 times on a train from Melbourne to Geelong and then danced to it about 3 times after I got home that night. It's got a good beat and you can dance to it but I couldn't help wonder if what I was doing was wrong.

First, Robin Thicke is, as mentioned, slightly repulsive and that made me wonder how I could enjoy that song so much. Also, despite listening to it a bunch of times in a row, every time I tried to think of Blurred Lines all I could think of was SexyBack. Justin Timberlake, there is a slightly (barely) repulsive pop star I can get behind. But really is that what you want? A danceable song that is so reminiscent of a better song a person can't even remember your song properly? Turns out Blurred Lines has been accused of being too similar to Marvin Gaye's Got to Give it Up. ! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA. Dream the fuck on Robin Thicke! That is only one of the all time best songs. And dude, yours ain't nothing like it. Not in any meaningful way.

Also, Blurred Lines has been accused of being about date rape and suggesting that it is cool. When I first heard the song I just thought it was about trying to pick up the hottest bitch in the place. You know, like every other song out there. And I'm not convinced that is not what it's about. But I'm not really convinced it is, either. Not being a date rapist perhaps I just didn't tap into that aspect. I mean, I can see where that interpretation comes from, but gee, Robin Thicke and Pharell and T.I., if that is what you are talking about it is not sexy, it's not cool.

Still despite all this I listened to the song over and over, wondering if I was going to be hooked on it for weeks, wondering why the eff I was listening to this Thicke. Using Pharell's involvement to justify it all. And then after one night, I was done. I mean, it's not as if I am immune to it now, but a real booty shaker, Gold Digger or MyLove, I could listen to those for months. So, thanks Robin Thicke, Pharell and T.I. for getting me to dance a bit, but not compromising myself too much. Thanks for getting me thinking about stuff. Who says pop music is good for nothing.

*Did you know that until recently Robin Thicke just went by the name Thicke professionally. Eeeeeewwwwwww.

California Love (AM)

So, I hate to break this to you, but as you read this, probably on a cold winter’s morning, I’m enjoying my first hot LA night. I hope you can just be happy for me and are not feeling bad. Especially given what I am going to tell you next. Look, I hate to ruin the magic of the internet here, but I did not write these words today. No, sometimes... sometimes a blog post is written in advance. I’m sorry. Feel free to take a minute.

You may be at work, or somewhere else. It may be cold. Might be raining. Who knows. And given this is pre-written I don’t really know what it’s like where I am either. What I do know is that the forecast for LA was 80  with a low of 64. Whatever the hell that means! Just jokes, I have checked and it means that it will have a high of 26 and a low of 18! Um, that sounds pretty good to me. It’s likely that I will be one of three things, I reckon. 1) Passed out, jet-lagged; 2) eating a burrito  and drinking beer with CENSORED and Mondonna while CENSORED sleeps; or 3) drinking beer and eating a burrito with CENSORED dazzled with Mondonna’s hot LA lifestyle while she is off somewhere doing something hot, as Ari cries with delirium after hours on a plane and a hemisphere shift demanding miracles from his body clock that he cannot even begin to understand. Fingers crossed it’s option 2.

I was feeling a bit uneasy about this trip for a while, but then I organised accommodation and got a little excited. And then one week ago, I heard a plane overhead. It was loud and I looked up and it was flying quite low. The sky was full of clouds and I looked away for a minute, looked back up and the plane was gone. I could still hear it. It was still there, and then it emerged from the clouds, making them look wispy around it and I could imagine descent vividly. You know, when you are coming in to land and you can feel the plane descending, you fly through clouds, then clear sky then clouds again. You can see the city below. It’s so exciting. So I started to get excited. Oh and remember Saturday? How it was so wet and cold. Yeah, I got real excited. But I don't you guys to miss pout on the California love. C'mon, let's all enjoy it!

The hits just keep on coming (PM)

Kick is a really great album. And I’m pretty sure bloatingis something that yoghurt and vitamin companies have made up. Like how Listerine made up halitosis. I’m pretty sure that the yoghurt companies just thought they could capitalise on that feeling people get where they feel fat. I’m pretty sure that bloating is just a euphemism for fat and like 80% of the products in the world the yoghurt companies are trying to make us think (falsely) they will cure the feeling of being fat.

Well eff you yoghurt companies. Then again I guess you just proved one more time why K and I are BFFs.* So thanks yoghurt companies, tearing women down just to build them back up again.

*I know that Frandonna is 24, so I guess K and I have been friends for almost that long. And still learning new things about each other to this day. That’s love, you guys!

Friday Favourites: Friday (PM)

Friday! Good call mate. Friday is the best. I only work 2 days a week and one of those days is Friday, and still this day is my favourite.

Music sounds better on Friday because you know there is a chance that you could go out and dance to that music that very night!

Even though Monday brings a longer break for me than Friday, I still love Friday better because it means that everyone is on break, not just me and Baby.

Plus it's just the vibe of it.
And even though I slept in this morning and was 45 minutes late for work, my computer isn't working so about 60% of my tasks are unavailable to me and BOM said it was going to be 27 degrees but instead it was cold-as degrees this morning, you know, it's Friday, so I'm doing ok.

It's like R Kelly said, it's the freakin' weekend baby, I'm about to have me some fun!

Terrific Tuesday (AM)

Oh, hi guys.
Remember a few weeks ago how J was all "I'm going to have a terrific Tuesday" and listed a whole bunch of great things she was going to do that day, including have two coffees, do all her washing and hang it out in the sun?  I remember it like it was the 23rd of October, perhaps because I haven't had as much on over the last few weeks as you guys, and also because it was.

Well today I would very much like to have a terrific Tuesday too. No special reason why. I just think it would be great if this day ruled. All Tuesdays, really, but one step at a time, non?

OK, here's what I'm going to do terrificify my Tuesday.

Listen to You Am I
Truth be told, readers, I'm doing that right now. I'm listening to Hi Fi Way and I am loving it with my whole K shaped heart. I think Miss Soft Crab should do Friday Favourites: You Am I one day. You Am I rules OK!

Have two coffees
That's how you have a Terrific Tuesday after all.

Get lots of work done so I can have a guilt-free day off tomorrow
As you guys know, I work a niner. That means I squish ten days of work in to nine so I can have one day off a fortnight. Sometimes I feel bad taking the day off because I have the work ethic of a protestant but the guilt of a catholic. But not this week. No sirree. I am going to get heaps done today and just have a wonderful time tomorrow. Try and stop me, universe!*

Um...maybe get things organised so I can do my tax return?
This would make my Tuesday unbelievably terrific, but I don't think I'm ready to commit to it.

Eat leftover hedgehog (pictured above) 
This is something I can commit to so goddamned thoroughly. It was my Dad's birthday on the weekend and that man loves hedgehog like the desert loves the rain. I made him a batch as a special little treat, and quelle horreur! it wouldn't all fit in my tupperware container so I had to keep some for myself and I have to keep eating it. Yeah I do.

You guys should have a terrific Tuesday too if you can. Go for it, you guys.


*Please don't try universe, you will succeed. You are the boss of me. 

Friday Favourites - Supergrass (PM)

Dudes making some great music while seemingly having a super time and sporting haircut/sideburn combinations that are pure 2001 is the essence of Supergrass' appeal. I'm not going to over-complicate things by saying any more. I will just quickly add that I had a feeling Baby would love Supergrass because he is such a good time guy. Baby and Supergrass, #matchmadeinheaven. 

I wish I could play Alright again. But I guess we should all move on. Ha!

Friday Favourites - Supergrass (AM)

So K has brought up Supergrass a few times lately (to me, not you guys) and that reminded me, HEY! I effing love that band. In the year 2000, not long after the album Supergrass came out,  I worked at this small, awful juice bar (how early '00s are juice bars?! I got a Boost juice the other day and I pretty much thought it was 2001) and I remember really vividly this day when Supergrass were playing in Melbourne and for some reason I didn't get tickets and the (awesome) song 'Mary' came on the radio and well... regrets, I've got a few.

I recently introduced Baby to Supergrass. First we watched the video for 'Pumping on the Stereo'. A lot. But when Baby started talking about how he wanted to add "taking my head off" to his dance moves repertoire I thought we just keep moving. That's when I showed him the clip for 'Alright'. And after watching that 15 times I realised that Supergrass would have to be this week's Friday Favourite! Yes, it was listening to those great songs that made me think that, but it was also something in Gaz's adorable doofusy face too.

Do I feel weird that our last Friday Favourite was a British band of the late 90s/early 2000s? Yes! A little bit. But what can I say, I guess at that time in England someone was putting some really good shit in the water.

So why are Supergrass so good? Only because they wrote awesome rock 'n' roll that sounds like they were having the best time ever and then makes you have the best time ever!

Plus, do you know how hard it was to chose a clip to finish this with? Really hard. Know why? Cause so many songs are winners! Most of them. I love the song 'Mary' so much, but to be honest that clip is a little creepy and this is the AM post after all so let's just keep things light, shall we? And get this weekend started off right! Let's go back to where things started. For me anyway. And for this post. Alright!

Haiku Thursday (PM)

Muse
You have vanished, Muse.
But I kind of like how you
Put your own needs first.

Apres midi
Three to three-thirty.

You, friend, are the half hour

Of powerlessness. 

Martha

Remind me never

To listen to certain songs

When I'm this tired. 

It's Monday (PM)

Yesterday K showed me how to use iPhone as a magic eight ball. We asked it a few questions but all the answers were pretty inconclusive. Frankly, I’m not sure it works so well. But inspired by her post this morning I decided to ask my iPhone how my day was going to be. I actually have an iPhone 4 but Siri is useless. Useless. Sometimes I ask her stuff but she just says, “Sorry, I don’t understand.” Every time! Bite me, Siri.

So I asked my shuffle if I was going to have a good day. Now due to a series of boring things I have very little music on my phone, I usually use an iPod for listening to music. But I do have a little bit on the phone. Mostly Prince. So I guess I thought it was likely that the result would be pretty positive. So I asked shuffle, “Will I have a good today?” To which it answered with Die Antwoord’s ‘Wat kyk jy?’, which translates to ‘What are you looking at?’   Yikes! Fine, iPhone, I won’t ask you do things beyond your duty. I’m sorry.

Friday Favourites: Damon Albarn (PM)

What K says is true. But my mind track looks more like this:
*blllluuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh*
*Blur!*
*Damon Albarn! = destination reached!*

Damon Albarn is the bomb. I love Blur so much! Also I love the Gorillaz! And while that Dr. Dee opera is kind of weird, you gotta respect a man that wants to writes an opera about some old skool mathematician/astronomer/astrologer who straddled the worlds of science and magic and whose thirst for the occult led to his downfall, and then just does it.

Also did you know that Damon Albarn's girlfriend/mother of his child, Suzi Winstanley, is an artist who makes collaborative paintings and photographs with her artistic partner, which I don't really get but think is kind of great. All their work is about nature and they have quite a few wolf works, so, you know, I kind of love them. I know that doesn't really have anything to do with Damon but I guess it's just a positive association.

I know it's Friday and usually I'd like to play a party song to get y'all in the mood but I'm afraid I can't go past 'No distance left to run' for my Blur pick. I just think it's a really beautiful, sad song. I love the tired feel of it. Like he really can do no more. I pretty much think it's genius.

Damon Albarn, you really are an everyday favourite. That doesn't really have the ring of Friday Favourite, but I bet you could make it work.

Friday Favourites: Damon Albarn (AM)

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about Damon Albarn. You know, because of the Olympics. And also because of my one track mind. Which track? 

The fast track to Hunktown of course, like you needed to ask. Before you judge me, J is exactly the same as me and she has a baby, so to judge me is to judge her and please don't do that.

Here is an overview of what has been going down in my brain for the last few weeks.

*Olympics*

*London*

*England*

*Great Britain*

*Britain*

*Brit Pop*

*Blur*

*Damon Albarn! Destination = reached!*

Readers, Damon Albarn is so great. Tell me: have you ever heard a Blur song, or a Gorillaz song, and thought to yourself, gee, I wish I wasn't listening to this right now. Of course you haven't. No one has. And that's almost all because of Damon Albarn.

There are shed-loads (which is what my new boss says when he wants to say shitloads and I think it's very quaint so I am using it here) of songs I could refer to to illustrate how great Damon Albarn is. I'm sure you all have your personal favourites.  For me it's  Tender, always and forever. Everything that is good about Damon Albarn and music in general is in the song Tender. It's got a beat that won't quit, a melody so perfect it sounds like it's been around since the dawn of musical time and it's impossible not to hear it and start singing. I basically want that song to go on forever. 

Damon Albarn: because you are as pretty as a picture, because your music is as pretty as your face, and because you seem like a man who always knows what he is doing, you are Miss Soft Crab's Friday Favourite. And you know what baby? We don't even need a Friday Favourite to know how great you are. You would be our favourite any day of the week and twice on Sundays. It just so happens that it's Friday today.

Take it away, Damon Albarn.

(and Blur)

TGIF (PM)

Sorry to hear that you woke up at 5am. But lucky you found some amusement this week.

Today I woke at the respectable hour of 7am but I have had a bunch of mildly stressful and annoying things happening this week so it's like metaphorically I was waking at 5am everyday. If you know what I mean. You don't? Well screw you! Jokies. Oh no. This isn't going well at all.

Anyway this stressful week has meant my eyes were pretty much closed to all things amusing. The one amusing thing I actually did see this week is the new Die Antwoord video, thanks to Russeth. I love Die Antwoord. The clip is really pretty too. The beautiful colours. You may like to keep in mind that Yolandi and Ninja are doing it in real life. They have a child together.

TGIF!

Something for everyone (AM)

Today I thought I was all ready to tell you all these thoughts I have been having about Prince. Not just Prince, but music in general. But then it got kind of confronting. Like, am I really ready to talk to you about the visceral response to music, my ideas about how live music is so awesome because it makes some imagined world created by music somehow almost tangible, but also tantalisingly less tangible, and how the first time I heard 'Gett Off' my mind was totally blown. No. No way. I am totally not ready to go there. Sorry guys. (But go and watch the clip for 'Gett Off'. It's so awesome but I can't embed it.)

'But', I thought to myself, 'What am I going to write about?' So I looked around for inspiration. And found it in one of my favourite places. The Internet! Actually, I found it right here in the back end of Miss Soft Crab, specifically in the keyword search traffic sources. Firstly, you may be interested to know that not a single Ewan McGregor-related phrase was in the top ten search terms bringing people here. 'Jedward' was (thanks Eurovision) and so was 'Seal's face' (thanks The Voice). And so was 'fish that looks like a man'. I mean, geez, you talk about a fathead sculpun one time and suddenly 'fish that looks like a man' is bringing in the audience. So I thought I would see what happened when I asked Google for a 'fish that looks like a man'. I'll tell you what happened, as I started writing the Google predictive text told me that the second most searched for fish look alike, after 'fish that looks like a dog' is 'fish that looks like hitler'. No wonder. Turns out there are a heap of those little bastards out there:

Then I decided to see what other animals look like people. There are dogs that look like Snoop Dogg. Of course.

 
I also tried for pigs that look like people. But apparently people only ever ask Google to find images of 'pigs that look like sheep' and 'pigs that look like a willy'. WTF, people?!? WTF?

Finally it became quite clear that I had to see if there were any dogs that look like Ewan McGreggor. Apparently there aren't, so Google offered up this instead.

Let's have a wonderful weekend! (AM)

Remember how on Monday I told you what an awesome week I was going to have?

Well I have had a pretty great week, and I want to tell you about it. But there is too much to say.

Like I want to tell you about how Prince really was the best. THE BEST! But I need more time, I mean, shit you guys, did you see all the stuff I had on this week, I can't give Prince the time he deserves right now.

And I would like to tell you about the delicious meal I had last Saturday at Sunnybrae in Birregurra. A delightful restaurant with surrounds that look like this:

 

And food like this rhubarb and apple souffle with mandarin sorbet, which, like an idiot, I did not order.

Idiot!

And a cute dog that tried to hitch a ride back to Melbourne with us:

And, I really want to tell you how I saw a new hairdresser this week and, you guys, I think he may be the one! I know, I am really excited.

But, if I've learned anything by watching Risky Business a bunch of times, it's that sometimes you've just gotta say what the fuck. Sure, I'll tell you about Prince one day and my new hairdresser. But not today. Today I do what I want. But don't think I'm not thinking about you guys too!

Let's have a wonderful weekend!!!

And if that don't do it for you this should:

TGIM (PM)

Well Mate, not only is this week full of ace things, but it got off to a pretty rad start for me because I washed all my linen yesterday and then had a shower and washed my hair before bed last night.  I guess it would be fair to say that I feel like the cleanest and most mature person in the world.

So May has really delivered for us. First Hobart, now Prince, Pickle, Minderbinder, a birthday and the eternal love of two of the nicest and cutest people you could ever hope to meet. Talk about playing to win, May.

But, as you said Mate, balance is important to ensure we don't go crazy from all the awesomeness.

As always, balance for me will come via some serious anxiety over the following things:

• work*
• whether I will finish making the dress I am wearing to the wedding in time for the wedding^
• whether that dress will look as awesome in real life as it does in my imagination^
• whether I should get a dog*
• whether the spider that came in to my house on Friday night but then went missing on Saturday afternoon will pop up again^
• whether I will injure myself trying to escape the spider, should it catch me by surprise and cause me to be terrified. ^

So I guess things are pretty balanced.


*Ongoing cause of anxiety
^Acute anxiety