What's wrong with this picture? (PM)

I like the bit where she (and I am confidently assuming the seller is a she) underlined the word trilogy, because obviously western literature has a great tradition of trilogies and as part of that tradition, it makes sense that we would drop twenty clams on her used books.

I can understand why someone would read 50 Shades of Grey because their friend lends it to them, and they figure they might as well see what all the fuss is about.
But reading all three? And thinking well enough of them that you can only sell them as a unit?
What kind of a sick fuck would do that?

What's wrong with this picture? (AM)

You know what you don't see around much anymore? Pinboards. The Torquay supermarket has one though. People sell cars, furniture, surfboards, wetsuits, boats, yep, they sell all kinds of things on that pinboard. They try to, anyway. I guess I just see the signs, I don't know the outcomes. Though I'd like to think I know the outcome of this here ad I saw recently.

There is so much wrong with this picture.

1. The person who put it there must have bought all three 50 Shades of Grey books. I know that they have sold about 50 zillion copies, so people other than this one have bought them, still, having been subjected to a brief, yet painful, reading from the first book I still have trouble believing it.

2. "Will not separate" HAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh, oh God. I effing love that so much. Will not separate!!! Like it is some antique table setting. Or a set of crystal ware. No this person can not, WILL NOT, see these books be separated. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

3. "Exc. cond." Ewwww. No one wants to know the condition of your faux porn.

4. Eeeewwwwww. Why are you selling your faux porn?!?!

5. "$20" Is advertising to the whole of Torquay the fact that you own, and are now done with, your 50 Shades of Grey trilogy worth it? Selling your dignity for twenty bucks. Get some self respect!

Eff you, sale season, eff you (AM)

You know how at the start of a season, if you are a shopper, like I am, you may see some things you like and you may buy a thing or two and you may covet a thing or two and maybe some you think you will revisit come sale season? Well it’s sale season guys and I am drowning!

In fact I don't think I have even bought anything in the sales. But I’ve been thinking about it so much I can’t even remember anymore, guys! I’m losing it, guys! I'm losing it. Because it has become a mad jumble of stuff and desire. 

Yeah, we bought a new doona (that baby is so warm I wish I was under it right now). And some new linen too. Because our old doona cover actually disintegrated, but those don't count. They were pretty much necessities and if you need those things, of course you buy them during the sales. No they don't count at all.  I'm talking about clothes, shoes and accessories, people. The things that came out this season and if you don't snap them up this season they could well be gone forever.

 

I told Russeth about this very cute shirt dress I wanted and he (he, who is a total stuff-lover and stuff-buyer) told me that I should resist, because much like sweet treats, when you open the flood gates, well then the flood comes.

But even though I haven’t opened the flood gates, I’m still drowning! I’m still thinking about that shirt dress. I’m thinking about a two-tone Alpha60 jumper I don’t think they have in my size any more. I’m thinking about a Gorman jumper that is now half price and I want real bad. But I am held back by some invisible internal, mental flood gate. I can’t buy anything and yet I can't stop thinking about stuff.

Just get away from me stuff. Leave me alone. And while you are at it why don't you jack your prices up like the petrol stations so I don't have to think how attainable you are.

Now if you'll excuse me I have to think of something to do today that isn't near shops. Again.