Big scream (PM)

On Wednesday I finished up work for the year and I guess I pretty much just went into holiday zone in a pretty major way because I spent all of Thursday as if I was on holidays. Went out for breakfast, wagged Baby's swimming lesson, cleaned the house, visited my neighbour, went out for dinner. So extreme was my holiday mode that it took until Friday AM to remember it had just been Thursday and I should have written a blog post. It's not that I forgot MSC, it's just that I have no idea what day it is. All Wednesday I kept thinking I had to write a blog post which I think is the main reason I forgot on Thursday. Anyway, I guess I'm trying to say sorry I'm so tardy. 

I love the movies too but being cash and time poor I hardly ever go. I mean it's really rare. I've never been to a crybaby session, mainly because they're always on at 11am or something and that's a little keen for me and a baby. I took Baby to some regular daytime screenings when I knew the audience would be meagre and that was pretty fucking great. 

And while it's not often true that you can say "only a hunk could improve this" it's pretty often that you could say "a hunk could improve this". What a difference a word makes! 

Nearly wordless Thursday (PM)

Who the hell is Fritz?! I guess he is just some kind of graffiti artist lovo. Get over yourself Fritz.

Or some really hungry person misspelt frites. Mmmmmmm frites. 

California Love (PM)

Wondering why there were all those CENSOREDs in this morning's post? Well, before J left for California yesterday morning, she texted me to tell me that she had finished her post for today. So yesterday afternoon, while putting off hanging out a load of washing (which I had only done int he first place so I could put off going to the gym) I checked J's post, thinking I too would get a jump start on writing mine.

Like I imagine you guys feel, I felt a mix of happiness and terrible, terribly envy. So much so that I needed to take a minute. But then, when I came back to it and kept reading, I chuckled and shook my head as I realised that J was so excited about her holiday she had accidentally used LB and Baby's REAL NAMES when describing what she will be doing today! Ha! She is so excited. It's very sweet. Anyway, I censored them instead of changing them because I thought we should remember what's it's like to be so excited about a holiday. Have a nice time Matey.

Bear with us (AM)

Look readers, I can't lie to you. It's been a rough couple of days for the Misses Soft Crab. This is largely due to a close shave with something that pretty much goes to the core of what this blog is about but I'm pretty sure neither of us a ready to talk about yet .  One day, readers, one day. When we learn how to feel again.

In the meantime, I'm afraid I'm struggling to find inspiration. Frankly, I'm struggling with respiration. I just want to lie around and make the moaning sound that Harry makes in that scene in When Harry Met Sally when he makes the moaning sound.

Remember? Here, let me show you. This version is dubbed in Italian but it doesn't matter because the moaning sound is the same in Italian. And it's the only version I could find on the internet.
But it's pretty funny, so you should watch it.

Highlights of a weekend where I ate well but lacked focus (AM)

On Friday night, I drank vodka on an empty stomach. Then, I did that about 50 more times.
What followed was one of the most ineffectual weekends of my life. Honestly, I feel sorry for the people that had to interact with me this weekend.  Talking and making sense, keeping focussed on what other people were saying, observing basic rules of human interaction like not yawning in people's faces - all of this was pretty hard for me over the last couple of days. And I kind of had a lot of stuff to do, like:

• make chutney
• attend chutney club
• interact with my brothers and sisters of chutney
• make something out of Plenty for the second Plenty Pot Luck dinner
• attend the second Plenty Potluck dinner
• interact with my sisters of plenty (I love how that sounds like a religious order). 

So it wasn't a good time to say goodbye to cognitive function. And the really unfortunate thing about it is that it was a weekend that involved a lot of really great food that I would have loved to have talked about today. But do you think I managed to photograph all that delicious stuff? No way, no how, readers. Happily, J was on hand to be the sensible and responsible one so this afternoon we should be able to count the ways we ate so well on Saturday. I'm on my own for Sunday's Plenty Pot Luck of course, but I was feeling a bit better by then.

Anyway, before J sweeps in this afternoon and returns respectability to Miss Soft Crab,  I can share the following snaps that I managed to take during brief moments of lucidity.

Here we have the chutney table, at the beginning of the session.
David pickled some beans and then turned them in to a salad that was like a sauce gribiche, but in salad form. With prawns!

Miguel made leek and garlic jam that he lathered on toasted cheese sandwiches for all of us.

Blizzie made tomato and tamarind chutney, which they served with delicious bagels and cheese.

Some other people we don't know grew some grapes then made them ferment and carbonated them and turned them in to prosecco which everyone seemed to enjoy a lot. I had a can of coke (not pictured).

I'm afraid that's the only  chutney photo I have to share, with the exception of the one at the top of this post, which is what it looks like when Miguel uses tongs to put a toasted sandwich on your plate and the following, which is what it looks like when a dog wears a baby's bib.

I can say that David and Welly were first class hosts and a lovely time was had by all, even me and I'm not sure that would have been possible anywhere else.

Right, on to Sunday night.  Crimpy hosted Legsley and I for the second Plenty Pot Luck dinner, which is what we call it when we get together and eat things we make from the book Plenty.

I made the Very Full Tart which is Very Effing Good. Legsley made a zucchini and hazelnut salad which was delicious and Crimpy made eggplant croquettes (not pictured). (Idiot).

Again, it was a lovely time and Crimpy was (as always) a first class host.
As you can see, I'm still a little tired and spaced out, so I think it's best for everyone if I press on. Don't worry readers, I'll be fine, and J will be here in the afternoon to make everything better.

Mistakes were made

My deodorant 

And  sunscreen look similar

Wrong one's on my face

Lovage
I know you're out there
I loved so hard on lovage
Where can I find you?

The Pour Cloud (AM)

The other day there was a cask of wine in my kitchen. And I was moving it or something when, on the side of the box, I noticed a picture of a glass of wine and some text in the empty bit of the wine glass that said 'Your pour cloud is bigger than you think'.

I'd never heard the expression 'pour cloud', but I liked it. I imagined that the pour cloud is the space left in a glass of wine when you have poured the correct amount, and that for all different glasses the pour cloud is, of course, different.

 

Of course a smaller glass means that for one standard drink your pour cloud would be smaller than in a larger balloony glass, even though you have the same amount of drink.

I loved this pour cloud. And what an interesting way to make people think about their alcohol consumption, a whole other way to think about pouring standard drinks. Negative space!

How could I find out more about the pour cloud?! Like, how much space, or cloud, should be left in a glass? How do you figure it out? And this phrase, 'pour cloud', had it been around a long time? Was it a phrase that wine people used? I mean, it makes perfect sense, but when, why, how did it come into being?!

God, I had so many questions!

Did I mention that the cask might have been upside down when I read that text? That I was distracted? Should I tell you that after pondering this lovely cloud I reread the text and saw that it said 'Your pour could be bigger than you think'.