What a great day (PM)

There's a reason that dinner and a movie is the classic date night activity, because if you are going to woo someone you want to show them a real good time and these things are some of the best times. Food, movies, the possibility of choc tops, there's not a lot that can beat that.

I can't even remember the last time I had dinner and a movie with anyone so I guess I'm pretty pumped about tonight too.

K and I used to do all kinds of things we don't do any more, like eat Nandos and buy the Coles brand chocolate mud cake and drive around all night or sit in front of boys' houses in the car. Oh shit, I've said too much. Anyway, I guess it's pretty obvious why we don't do a lot of these things anymore. But the only excuse for not going to the movies is time. And priorities I guess. What a couple of losers.

Hooray for today though.

This is not a post about how old I am (AM)

I sometimes find myself asking rhetorical questions about the space-time continuum, because you know, space is fixed and time is just an abstract, man-made concept so the combination could be pretty chaotic. But I try not to think about it too much. Individually you'd think that there aren't a lot of questions. Space is space, time is time, let's call the whole thing off!

A few weeks ago I was at the Jean Paul Gaultier exhibition at the NGV, it was beautifully presented and full of wonderful things. It was also full of people and lots of school groups.I  I looked at this photo:

And moved on. And then I heard a girl of about 14 say, "It's from Vogue 1993." I didn't really think anything of it for a second, just wondered why she'd make that comment. And then it occurred to me that the photo would have been taken nearly ten years before that girl was born. It was basically the same as me standing in a gallery in 1993 looking at a photo from Vogue 1971.

But 1971 seems like some other place altogether. And I am sure that in 1993 if I'd seen a picture from 1971 Vogue I would have imagined that time as being very different. Glamourous, exciting, long ago. But I guess half of that has to do with Vogue. So I wondered, was that girl imagining 1993 as a significantly different time? A historic time? Back then there was no internet or smart phones. In fact there were only brick mobile phones, and they were only for rich people. River Phoenix was even alive for most of it. But that 14-year-old girl probably doesn't even know who that is. I mean, doesn't that blow your mind?! That 1993 can seem as historic as 1971! Personally I find something kind of disturbing about it all. I know I'm 20 years older than people in their mid-teens but then I think about what that means in the grand scheme of things it's mind blowing.

How about the fact that when you are a kid time drags.  I would put any money on this year feeling to Baby like it goes on forever, but for me I have no doubt it will pass in the blink of an eye. Perspective, I guess they call it. Miguel and I were talking recently about how that is, that a week or month or year for a kid takes for ever and for an adult it just feels like time actually flies by. He suggested it may be that a kid is learning things all the time, every day something happens that is a big deal, so each day is more significant, creating a sense of size for each day, making it longer. It is an idea I like a lot but I think it has more to do with what we want. When you are a kid you want to be old enough to do all the cool shit and it seems so far away. You're just waiting for that time to come when you are the boss, so of course time drags. But as an adult you just want to hang on to youth and health and beauty and all that good shit that you realise is fleeting, the perspective is exactly opposite of a child's, so little wonder the sense of time is. Still weird though. But I guess if anything is going to blow your mind, it is going to be an abstract man-made concept.  

Adult Themes (PM)

Casey Affleck identifies an adult

A couple of years ago I was driving down Punt Road worrying about whatever was worrying me at the time, probably some combination of something due at work, some bill I couldn't afford, and a need to make some appointments, when I thought "Gee it will be good when these things are resolved and I'm stress-free." And then I realised that it didn't really matter that these things would be resolved because being an adult basically meant there was almost always some minor stress and any reprieve would be fleeting. That's not to say that being an adult sucks, there are definite advantages, like being of a legal drinking age and being able to decide what take-away to have for dinner, it just also means there is always shit to do and not all of it is fun. And some of it is shit.

That said buying a house with your sweetheart, there's a problem worth having, am I right?

Buying a house does seem hard though, I mean there are all these different houses in all these different places with a bunch of different things to recommend them AND (usually) all only available to purchase in about a 20-minute window on a given day and not necessarily in order of your preference. So you have to decide how much you want to pay for each one, what price you will be happy with if it means you don't get your favourite place, and what value do you place on amenities, space, all that jazz. Ugh.

Personally I think in this day and age people place way to much importance on space. But I live in a house with reasonable sized rooms and a back yard, so who am I to talk. Having spent 3 years living across town from my friends, work and preferred hang-out places I can say that now being near all those things is way, way better. But you can get used to anything so I'm sure however a person decides to chose their house will be fine. We're here for a long time, not a good time, after all.

Adult Themes (AM)

No reason

I like being an adult because most of the time it feels like being teenager, but with fewer hangups, and a better understanding of things like how to stay warm and how to work with what you've got vis a vis your own hair. That's what it's like most of the time, but obviously not all of the time. It can't be denied that there are some distinctly adult responsibilities that come with being an adult, and when those pop up I often feel like I'm ill-equipped to deal with them. Not unable to deal with them, mind. Just ill-equipped. It's like sometimes my adult life throws me an experience that makes me feel like it's one of those days when its's nice and warm in the sun, but quite chilly in the shade and I've left the house without a jacket or a jumper. You know, ill-equipped.

Right now, Appleheart and I are looking for a place of our own to buy. It's a very exciting thing to be doing, natch. Not that long ago I spent a good part of each day thinking things like "gosh, I hope Appleheart likes me". Now I am thinking things like "gosh, would my copy of the Cooks Companion look good alongside Appleheart's copy of the Cooks Companion in this place?". It doesn't get much more exciting than that, really. But it's very adult. The kind of very adult thing that make me feel like I'm caught outside without a jumper in Melbourne in SPRING. It's not parental guidance recommended. It's not MA15+. It's dead set AO.

There are lots of adult dimensions to this thing, but the thing that I'm struggling with the most is thinking long term. You know, like whether one should get a place that one can "grow into" even though to be affordable, such a place would be miles away from everyone and everything. Would I feel isolated and cut off in such a place and long to be closer to things? Right now it takes me 3 minutes to walk to the gym, 2 minutes to walk to the station and 5 minutes to walk to Barkly Square. And 25 minutes to get to work, door to pod. That is some pretty tidy amenity. But is it essential? Or is it just good to have? Because to buy something even a quarter as good as that would mean a teeny tiny place. Probably on a busy street. And probably with a funny smell to it. And that's not cool. So maybe I should prioritise space over amenity but then there's the isolation and stuff and well there I am back at square one again. You see what I mean? Such an adult scenario.

I'm not looking for answers. In fact, I know this is something Appleheart and I have to sort out for ourselves, which is another of it's super adulty dimensions. I guess I'm just feeling a lot like an ill-equipped adult at the moment and I thought I'd tell you guys about it. Believe me, I would rather be talking about hunks or something, but with this infernal hunk drought I can't even do that.

Adults only (PM)

Oh, I clean my pantry out all the time. I find it so frustrating when things are all piled up on top of each other and you can’t see what you have so you buy lentils every time you go to the shop and then you find you have 5 bags of lentils in the pantry. Ugh. Also, my pantry is basically all exposed so I do what I can to make it not a horrible clutter in front of my eyes.

But being an adult is not easy. You know what troubles me? How do you pay for a manicure with your nails all wet? I don’t get manicures because I find they make my nails weak, and also as if I would spend money on such a stupid indulgence and also who has the time, and also how do you pay without damaging your polish job?! But I have had manicures and I think about getting them sometimes, because who doesn’t love to spen money on a stupid indulgence now and again? But after your nails are done and they are still wet you are expected to pay, but if you put your hand in your bag for your wallet... BAM.. polish mush! Even if you had the foresight to get your wallet out of your bag first you still have to open your wallet and get a card or money out. BAM...polish mush!

Anyway, nice pantry, Mate.

Adults only (AM)

I decided to clean out my pantry on Sunday. I think I might have told you guys about the little problem I have been having with those tiny moths that live in open packets of flour and muesli and stuff. I'd been ignoring their increasing numbers for months, but when I walked in on two of them doing it on my bathroom mirror the other day (I'm not kidding) I knew it was time to destroy their habitat.

Cleaning out the pantry is not fun. But it's something adults do and goddamn it, I have been one of those for years now so why can't I do it to?
Mainly because i'm lazy and it's a bit gross.
I found quite a few places where little moths could live happy lives. All the obvious ones, plus a container of pistachios. Everyone loves pistachios.

This is what all the stuff in my pantry looks like when it's laid out on my kitchen table.

Gross.

This is what it looks like when you drop one of the containers of flour, and almost spit the dummy, and consider calling your mother and asking her to come over and help.

The holes in the flour are were my feet were.

But this is what it looks like when you come out on the other side.

I could look in that pantry all day.

And check it out: I decided to make a whole cupboard just for my baking stuff.

I feel like a really successful person because of this. I hope you guys can learn from my example.

Terrific Tuesday! (AM)

I won't lie to you guys. When my alarm woke me up this morning from a really vivid dream about breaking eggs I could not believe the alarm was meant for me. I felt tired and brain dead and things did not get any better when Baby asked me to read a Peter Pan book to him.

If you think novelisations of movies of bad you should try reading a children's bookisation. So lame.

But then I had a great idea for how to turn this day around. Terrific Tuesday! Here's how I'm gonna make this Tuesday totes terrific!:

Coffee
Natch. Coffee in abundance is the cornerstone of Terrific Tuesday.

Get my life in order
It's service day for my car! Doing responsible things like taking my car to get serviced always makes my day. Other things that have fulfilled me in this way recently include going to the dentist, getting car insurance and updating my electoral enrolment details! YEAH! The best thing about the car service situation is that LB is the one taking it but I get to feel the full glory of it because it is my car and I booked it in. Win!

Enjoy autumn
How good is autumn at doing it's job?! God I love autumn and today looks sunny and mild and I bet you anything it's going to have that nice autumn light and the special crispness of autumn. I am going to enjoy the heck out of it today. Terrific.

Run
Look, I have not been running a lot lately. But today is the day I turn that around and I can't wait!

Make pizza
I love pizza. Pizza shops are the one kind of shop that without exception have me craving their product every time I pass them. But eff those guys, I'm making my own tonight.

TERRIFIC TUESDAY! I feel better already.

Ways I am no good at being an adult (PM)

Do you look like this? If the answer is yes, you may well be an adult. According to a Google image search, an adult is a smiling person in a group of people wearing monotone clothes

Botulism!

I hear you sister. And I am in exactly the same boat. Sure I can do some of the things an adult is meant to. Drive a car. Raise a well-adjusted child. He's not even 3 mind you, so there is plenty of time for maladjusting him yet. I don't have a mortgage though and I can barely hold down a job so already I'm failing.

But I think this morning's post demonstrated some very adult achievements. For example, that tomato paste that is going to give K botulism was Coles Smart Buy tomato paste. A smart buy! Adult!

Getting a cleaner! Man I fantasise about getting a cleaner all the time. For me that will be the true moment when I know I am a successful adult. A time where I can stop doing the boringest, Sisypheanist task of them all and pay someone else to do it. Like when I stopped waxing my legs at home and started paying a professional to do it! Adult! Except I am so broke at the moment I plan to wax my own legs today! Regression!

And that weevil situation... Forget about it. The source of the problem is probably your food. You know how food has an allowable contamination level? Well basically those weevils come as eggs in your flour and what not and then hatch and make your kitchen home. What are you going to do? Stop buying food? No, because you are an adult!

 But that toothpaste thing is just gross.

Ways I am no good at being an adult (AM)

In many ways I am a responsible adult. I hold down a job. I have a mortgage. When J and LB used to go away, sometimes I would look after Doggy and I always returned him to them with a shiny coat and a waggy tail. I always make the bed before I leave the house. Every single time.

But there are some pretty fundamental ways in which I am quite bad at being an adult.
And let's get straight to it...I'm talking about cleanliness here. I am really not a clean person. Even though I think having a clean environment to live in and clean clothes to wear is very very important, I don't want to spend any time seeing to those things.  I had four days off over Easter, and I spent no minutes and no hours of any of those days cleaning. And boy oh boy did I have some cleaning to do. But I did all the other things instead.

It's not right. Not for an adult. And I'm starting to realise that maybe I'm someone who should get a cleaner. But that's a big step.  It's basically an admission of failure at being an adult. But so is this I guess. And, on the bright side, getting a cleaner is an admission of success at being a lazy son of a bitch. And it's nice to be honest with oneself.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves. There are lots of other ways I'm pretty shit at being an adult too, ways that I can admit to without having to then do something that's pretty...weird. Here are some just from this morning!

Add caption

My toothpaste tubes always get toothpaste residue around the edge. It means you can't close the lid properly and the toothpaste dries out a little. It's gross. I seem to be the only person this happens to and I don't know why.

 There are lots of these little moths in my house. You know, the ones that live in open packets of stuff in your pantry. I found this one dead on my kitchen bench this morning. But he has so many friends that are not dead. An adult would find their life source and cut it off. I just ignore them.

I left this can of tomato paste out overnight after I made meatballs for dinner. I'll probably use it again anyway. And I'll probably get botulism, even though I don't know if that's something you can get. But it's fun to say.

Botulism!