Queen's Birthday Holiday

Today is not the Queen's birthday, but it is the Queen's birthday holiday. Weird. So let's celebrate my favourite thing about QEII.

#monochromeforlife

Just a Monday post (AM)

I don't like to start the week off on a negative note usually. I mean, as if waking up on a Monday morning isn't bad enough, then you have to perform your ablutions, probably discover there is no breakfast and I guess on this particular Monday you have to catch public transport with a million other people which seems like 10 million after the quiet of school holidays. Perhaps it is these factors that meant I couldn't avoid the negos today. Sozzles.

But let me just get this out there. Have you seen an ad for some kind of women's sanitary product, I believe it is some kind of 'panty liner' with a naked woman talking about  mid-cycle discharge? (Oh, also, sozzles if you are sensitive to this talk.) So, it's an ad for an inherently offensive a product, a product that exists to make women feel that having undies on and then probably pants or at least a skirt is not enough to keep their disgusting vaginas away from the world. And it is advertised by a nude woman. And she is telling us that even though discharge is healthy and normal it can make a woman feel dirty, and that's fine. WHY THE EFF IS THAT WOMAN NUDE?!?! Why is she telling you to feel dirty?! I read somewhere that the ad received criticism. "Yeah, no shit!" I thought! But when I read on it was suggested that the ad had been criticised for using the word vagina and being too 'real'. WHAT? WHAT?! WHAT THE EFFFFF??!?!

Phew, sorry, before it becomes too late to turn the caps lock off, let's all jus relax and look at this adorable photo of some of the Queen's signets riding under the wing of their parent. 

People are relying on you! (PM)

This morning's post is about google and how it's not very trustworthy and how it doesn't make much effort anymore, which is a serious topic and one that deserves our attention. But the thing that blows my mind about what I read this morning is that if he had lived, Freddie Mercury would be sixty-six years old right now. That's practically my parents age. That blows my mind. Why? I have no idea why. When I think about it, it makes sense that he would be in his late sixties. But for some reason it seems incredibly weird to me that Freddie Mercury could be my parents age.

It makes more sense when I see this, and yet I still struggle.
PS: Hey mate. you should get a shirt like this for LB. 

People are relying on you! (AM)

Last night I was watching a documentary on Freddie Mercury. It's pretty much my favourite thing to do. And because you never learn enough from an hour long doco I turned to Google. I had questions, you know. How long was he with his partner Jim Hutton? (Six years according to Wikipedia*)  How awesome was he? (Very!)

Now, guys, I have to tell you something, often, when I write about stuff here that doesn't just come from my brain it comes from the Internet. Lots of the time it comes from Wikipedia, which is a source I usually think I can trust because I know that when Russeth adds stuff to it about Moby's nonexistent appearance on Happy Days, his lies are taken down in days. So I feel its a trustworthy source. Then again, those lies are up there for days. What if I'm the victim of some alternative Russeth?

How will I ever know?

But at least I know that Wikipedia are trying to do the right thing. What are you trying to do, Google? Fuck all apparently. Do you know what came up on that right-hand panel of the Google page when I asked about Freddie? You know the panel that gives you pictures and basic information?

What's wrong with this picture? Just something is a bit jarring? What is it? Um, what is it? What is it? Oh! I know! THAT GIANT PICTURE OF KURT COBAIN ABOVE FREDDIE'S NAME! You can't fool us, Google! You think you can put any picture of a dead rock star there over a name and we'll buy it? You can't do that Google.

Freddie and Kurt are beautiful and unique snowflakes whose only common ground is the fact that they are both beautiful and unique snowflakes. Get some quality control, Google! People think you have the answers, God damn it.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go and donate to Wikipedia so that they never try and pass off Kurt as Freddie, like some lesser Internet-based businesses.

*I don't know what to believe anymore. But I guess I'll believe this.

What is Prince William up to? (AM)

The other day, I was catching up on my favourite blog, Miss Soft Crab. No, really. I was bored and I thought I would read old Miss Soft Crab entries. What a great time I had! You guys should keep it in mind for next time you're bored.
In addition to amusing me a great deal, it reminded me that we have a LOT of tags for our posts. There  are our oft-used favourites ( please see WTF, Best Things, Food), but there are also many many more we have used just once or twice (see: terror, so much ugh and sounds like my friday night).

Perhaps the most surprising tag I stumbled upon was 'Prince William'. I know, on this blog? Surprised the shit out of me too. Turns out J referred to him a couple of times back in the early days of MSC and then we haven't give him another look since.

Doesn't seem very nice, does it? Shall we check in and see what he's been up to? Ok then!

Well, unsurprisingly, he's been going to the Olympics with his wife a fair bit.

That looks like fun, doesn't it?
He's also been dressing up in his pilot outfit.

Such a good one.
And because he's such a cool guy, it looks like he's also been going along with it while a couple of dudes cross swords in front of his wife.

Harry looks appropriately dubious. 

What a cool guy.

Perhaps most importantly though, I am pleased to advise that like most future kings, he's also been getting himself noticed as a subject for art, albeit in a supporting role for his wife and grandmother in this hilarious Tim Key poem. 

So that's Prince William. Tomorrow we will revisit another infrequently used MSC tag. Maybe Boreanaz?

(We're not really going to do that.)

TGIF (AM)

Oh, hi guys. 

Though I would love to write a really great post for you right now, there is a strong chance that anything I write will be pretty lame, on account of me waking up at 5am this morning and not being able to get back to sleep.
Instead, I think  it's best for everybody if I just show you these two things that amused me during the course of the week. Lets begin!  

First, a couple of texts I got from Le Flav in the middle of the night a few days ago:

Sounds like that kid was having a really great night! Shame I wasn't really a part of it. :-(

Now look at this. 

When I look at this, I see the sorrow of a dog whose nap has been interrupted by a bunch of people standing around getting their photo taken.

Now that I look at these things side by side I wonder if I am too easily amused. Oh well. 

TGIF!

Haiku Thursday (PM)

The Diamond Jubilee celebrations continue!

Its question time, Queen. 

Pop Quiz: how would Corgis like

Apartment living? 

This one would love it I reckon!

Seriously, though. 

Those cute stubby legs they have?

I think they'd love it!

Maybe not the three 

Corgis pictured below. They

Seem like sporty types. 

I found this on a website called "The Inspiration Room". Hahahahaha. 

Haiku Thursday (AM)

DIAMOND JUBILEE EDITION

QEII

Sixty queen years

Word to you and your mother

May she rest in peace.

Queen Mother

Is it strange, you Maj,

For your mum's title to change

And be about you?

How does she do it?

QEII somehow

Makes beige look warm, appealing

Good beige costs money

QEII Style (PM)

I totally dig on QEII style!

Obvs I don't want to look or dress like her, but sister got some good tips. In fact, I'm starting to think that QEII has been influencing me without me even knowing it. Did you know my whole look for this year is based around monochrome. Tone wise I'm happy to mix it up, but colour-wise I'm totally trying to maintain monochrome outfits. Duochrome at most. But even QEII would let me get away with that.

Also, I love that she kind of has a uniform. I long to be the sort of person that wears various incarnations of the same thing every day. I think that is kind of awesome, but when it comes down to it I just can't commit like that. I think it's awesome QEII does it. I mean, she could wear anything in the world but she just goes right on wearing skirts with jackets and hats in one colour. Unlike some people in her family, she really knows what commitment means.

Check out how long she's been doing it!

In fact, it is so great her new granddaughter in law is totally imitating her!

Who the eff do you think you are Middleton. I see you with your eyes on the prize.

 

 

Me, I take a lot from QEII style. Sure, not the skirt suits or hats, but more generally, you know.

But let me give you a little advice, if you want to keep the dream alive please don't Google 'Queen Elizabeth II casual'. I'm not saying it's bad, I'm just saying keep your QEII style vision pure. I didn't and now I can never go back.

QEII Style (AM)

It's hard to get very far in this world without seeing a picture of Queen Elizabeth II. 

I have about 10 pictures of her face in my bag right now.

Those Elizabeths are nothing compared to the internets though. The Internets are full of pictures of QEII at the moment, on account of her special Diamond Jubilee.

Congratulations on being Queen for such a long time, QEII.

Just quickly, did anybody watch the river pageant? Way to act like a monarch, QEII - travelling down the Thames on a barge. You should do more of that straight up royal stuff for the remainder of your reign. It's like they say on Game of Thrones.  

"When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die". 

You've won, QEII. Have a some fun with it.

Anyway, I don't want to tell you how to suck eggs QEII. Today I would like to talk about your style. 

All of these pictures around at the moment are telling me one thing: QEII is a gaga for skirt suits, paired with matching coats and hats. 

Consider the following random sample of pictures. 

She wears it praying

She wears it when she is getting ready for a quick hug

She wears it when she is looking at her fancy boys. 

Even when the hat is fuzzy and she is wearing her diamond octopus brooch, the principle is still the same. 

She wears it when she is laughing at all of us.
   

Sure, she busted out a few dresses in her princess days, but it seems that since becoming QEII she has really committed to this look. 

Part of me thinks that if you are the Queen and you have quite a lot of disposable income to spend on clothes, it is a real shame to spend it on endless incarnations of the same kit. But then I think about the clothes I have loved over the years. How they have all met sad ends because I have worn them until they died.  Imagine if someone could have made them again and again in all the different colours of the rainbow so they never had to die, so they could live forever. That is very appealing to me.

Also, there is something kind of nice about the whole monocrhome thing. Its very neat. 

And she is so well groomed. I mean, good grooming is a big part of that whole old lady style, but QEII knocks it out of the park. Because I watch Downton Abbey,  I know how easy it is to look well groomed when you have a person dressing you each morning (I love you Mr. Bates, come back, the new guy really isn't working out), but even amongst a sea of well groomed people, the Queen is so well groomed she almost makes the others look shabby.

So I guess I all in all I kind of love QEII style.

Winning combos (AM)

You know what I love? Things that are great and then get even better when paired with another great thing. You know what I mean. Winning combinations. I'm not talking about those things you always think of together, like Joel and Ethan Cohen or salt and vinegar, I mean those things you think of as awesome in their own right but then when paired with something else awesome you think SHAZAM! Winning combo!

Here are some of my favourites combos:

Grated carrot and grated cheese. Now both of these things I love on there own and in all sorts of combinations but when you put these babies together magic happens. I am not talking about carrot and cheese any old way, I am talking about grated carrot and grated cheese. In a sandwich, in a wrap, in a taco, I don't care how you have it but when you put these grated guys together and those long thin strips start to mingle and tangle, oh yeah baby, they get together in loving harmony and it is a goddamn taste and texture sensation. I'm talking juicy, crunchy, creamy, salty, sweet. It's fucking beautiful.

You know what else I love? Blue and red together. These are two of my favourite colours. Look, I pretty much love all the colours when they are done right, but blue and red are really up there for me. Blue especially, it speaks to me. And I think all shades look good with red. Navy, pale, bright. But bright blue and bright red I love above all the combos. It is so fresh on my eyes. I effing love it.

Once I started thinking about winning combos I started seeing them everywhere. Like, I love David Bowie. Heaps. Who doesn't right? And I am digging on Queen more and more. Sure maybe it's because of this documentary that was on TV recently but maybe it's because of all those killer tracks.

I also kind of love Freddie Mercury. When else but in the olden days could a man with such a massive overbite become a super star. And when are these two powerhouses of Bowie and Queen finer than in Under Pressure.* Winning combo. My ears thank you!



*Maybe they have finer moments, I mean how good is Bowie? How do you chose a best track? But this one is such a good one.

A day in Queens

One of the reasons my Mum and I made this trip to NYC was to hang out with our American relatives. My Grandmother's sister, Dottie, married an American and has lived here since 1946. She had a daughter and now has a bunch of grandkids and great grandkids. We've been hanging out with them a lot, and today we went to visit Dottie at her house in Fresh Meadows, Queens.

Everyone kept telling us that Queens was far far away and an attempt to travel there by PT would be crazy. Really, it was fine. In fact we caught an express bus that took us right there. We collected all our quarters so we could make the bus fare.

This is Tyrone, our bus driver.

He's been driving the bus for 32 years. He gets five weeks leave per year and enjoys sunny holiday destinations like Bermuda. He dislikes laziness, and the poor driving habits of his fellow bus drivers. He also dislikes his neighbour George, but I'm not entirely sure why. I don't know whether it was because he enjoyed our conversation or didn't like the look of our pile of quarters, but he let us ride the bus free. Thanks Tyrone!

We were a little early, so we stopped off at Starbucks so I could have a coffee. I asked for a small latte, but they misheard me and gave me a tall one. Check out the size of it:

It was gross.
Anyway, when we got to Dottie's house and she had a couple of slices laid out for us:

Yes!

For the next few hours, Dottie told stories of being a war bride in NYC. The woman is seriously hilarious. Highlights included the time she told her boss what her plans for the afternoon were when he made the rhetorical statement "What are you going to do?". Turns out that she used to work at an advertising agency on Madison Avenue and if her stories are anything to go by, Mad Men is totally real.

Anyway, no story of a visit to Dottie's house would be complete without acknowledging the specialness of her bathroom. It's wallpapered with a silver and pink clam shell print.

That's the wall and the roof. It's everywhere. See?

And as if that isn't good enough, she also has a cushioned toilet seat.

So comfy.
Anyway, we had a delightful day. As we were leaving, I managed to take a snap of this novelty kitchen wall decoration.

Nyuck nyuck nyuck.
Dottie lives alone, mind you.