When I'm in the mood for it, the dumb shit people say to their hairdressers is one of my favourite things about going to the hairdresser. Head massages, getting to look at magazines and the fact that I have nice hair once I'm finished being the others. But mistaking Gonzo for gonzo? That takes the mother flipping cake. Sounds like you hit the jackpot, Mate.
Speaking of dumb shit people say whilst getting their groom on, someone said an amusing thing to me at the beauty parlour the other day. Now there's a sentence I never thought I would write. Can you believe I have a beauty parlour now? I know, it shocks me too. But it turns out that as my youth fades, my ability to look halfway decent without doing anything is also fading. I'm not talking about looking "good", mind you, just halfway decent. But even though this need has emerged, I still find the whole beauty parlour environment very disconcerting. The fact that everyone is there for beauty therapies of some kind. The heavily made up faces and fake enthusiasm of the staff which is, speaking as someone who is quite partial to a little enthusiasm, far too much to bear. The fumes in the air. Why are there fumes in the air? Where do they come from? It's worrying.
Anyway, the place I go to is in the city, and much like the Windsor hairdresser J referred to, it's really quite fancy. It has high ceilings and black lacquered furniture and pale pink cushions and things that I think are meant to make it look like Grace Kelly's dressing room or something. The women who work there are perfectly groomed, kind of like air hostesses on an airline where everyone is young and pretty (i.e. not United - have you seen those people? Yikes). Happily, most of the women who work there are lovely and perfectly normal so I don't feel too weird about it when I go.
But there is this one girl.
She is kind of a caricature of a girl who works at a beauty parlour. She looks like a brunette version of this:
Anyway, the other day as I went to pay, she seemed kind of distracted and a little frazzled. She was staring at her computer screen and it seemed like she was trying to do something that from the look on her face, was not working. I waited for a sec and then sheepishly said "I just want to pay for my things", to which she replied "Of course, OMG you look so pretty!" all the while continuing to look at her computer screen, thereby having no idea whether I looked goddamn pretty at all! I guess she just figured that that's what every girl wants to hear on the way out of the beauty parlour.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Poor girl.