Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Don't bullshit me Smiths (PM)

Oh, mate...Yeah, I'm smirking, of course I am. Extra crunchy chips?! 

I'll tell you something. The first thing I thought when I saw the ad for Smith's new 'Extra Crunchy Chips', the very first thing i thought was 'Oh please' (or if Baby or censors aren't in ear shot, 'Fuck off').

You know I used to work as an assistant for a market researcher who conducted those group interviews to understand consumers, so I've spent a lot of time listening to how companies think they can make new products that there is neither a need nor desire for. Until people are told they want that thing. Did you know that Kraft have a product out there called 'Whipped Peanut Butter'?! WHIPPED PEANUT BUTTER!!! (Yeah, I kind of want to try it, of course I do.) WTF?! Who comes up with this shit?!

Extra crunchy chips? Oh please! When have you ever eaten a fresh chip and thought 'this would be better if it were crunchier'? Never! You have never thought that. You've thought 'I wish this was more potatoey', 'I wish this was more salty/tangy/yummy' but only when you have eaten a soggy or stale chip have you thought 'I wish this werer more crunchy'. I know the kettle variety of chips are both delicious and more crunchy, but really what can more crunch give a chip? Nothing! NOTHING!!!

God I would kill for some chips right now.

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