Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Hairdressers say the darndest things! (AM)

So, I go to a hairdresser in Windsor. It is in this big ol' terrace with real fancy, excessive decor  like something out of Vogue Living and a clientele that I think largely head south from their South Yarra homes for something a little 'edgy'. Or something. But they give good head hair cuts, so I go there. Plus, the shit that comes out of people's mouths there! Gold!

For example, last week while I was waiting for my haircut a woman of about 40 came in. She was attractive enough in that way rich women are and clearly very regular at that salon. She was just wearing pants and boots and some sort of shirt and sweater combo but you could tell everything was expensive. She kind of looked like this:

She was talking to her hairdresser, the salon owner, and he was trying to convince her she should cut her hair off and go with a long bob. The conversation went like this:

Hairdresser: Yeah, we'll cut it off around your decolletage for something a little more funky. Are you bored with your hair? I can see you're bored with it! I'm bored with it!

Aniston wannabe: How short will it be? Not a bob, right?

Hairdresser: No just to here. It's such a great look, very sexy and flattering.

Wannabe: Really?

Hairdresser: YEAH! It's fun! Just look at Alexa Chung.

ALEXA CHUNG! Who would be 15 years younger than that woman and is a model! And looks like this:

Yes, fairly attractive South Yarra woman with nothing better to do than get haircuts on a Thursday morning, a haircut will make you look like this!

Sheesh. That was good, but not as good as what happened when I sat down for my haircut and the dude in the next chair was discussing his views on journalism so loudly there was no way I could have tuned it out.

"The...ahh...whaddyacallit? Not The Onion... the ahh...Huffington Post!  It presents itself as so cutting edge and liberal but it just steals snippets from The New York Times. Now the New York Times has some good articles and journalists. You know it still has some gonzo journalists."

Really guy?

Well, at this point it became clear client and hairdresser were not really on the same page.

Hairdresser: Did you say Gonzo?

Client:  Yeah.

Hairdresser: He was my favourite character on The Muppets!

Oh dear.
 At this point even the idiot in the chair realised he'd lost the hairdresser and I think he was a little speechless so the hairdresser went on... The weird thing was that the hairdresser and client seemd to have some sort of friendship outside the salon and Client knew Hairdresser's brother.

Hairdresser: My brother used to be nicknamed after one of the Sesame Street characters. Guess which one! It was based on his appearance.

Client: Um... Big Bird?

Hairdresser: No Beaker!

Client: HAHA! I was close though!


1 comment:

  1. I saw a woman on the tram the other day doing what Jennifer Aniston is doing, with the heels and long slightly boot cut jeans. Because her jeans and heels were the same colour it gave the impression of demon hooves.