When Miss Soft Crab went to see Prince play a couple of weeks ago we discussed a little phenomenon we like to call creepy sexy. We tried to figure out why, how, at 54, Prince can not just be so totally awesome, but somehow really attractive. Yes, he writes what is arguably some of the best music of all time. No denying that. And that is a huge part of the appeal, but does that keep others going? Usually no. But what if a guy is creepy sexy? Well that is something else altogether. How can age take away what was never about youth and beauty in the first place? It can't! CREEPYSEXY! If a man is so overtly sexual it would usually be sickeningly repulsive, but somehow is hot, can anyone take that away? NO! CREEPYSEXY!
J: So mate, I think it's time we talked about creepy sexy. I did see Prince again last night, after all.
K: You're right, it's time. OK, lets workshop this. Mate, what do we mean by creepy sexy.
K: Yes, creepy sexy is more than just a hunk who is a little creepy. In fact, creepy sexy people typically aren't hunks.That's what's so surprising about them.
J: Exactly. Like, for example Prince. Look I'm just going to come out and say it. I want to talk about Prince a lot, but I'm happy to talk about other people too. OK, so Prince, now he is not your typical hunk. And usually I would find overt sexuality pretty repulsive but Prince is so creepily overt it is kind of irresistible.
K: Seeing Prince has brought this creepy sexy issue to the fore for me too. Here are some feelings I have been feeling since seeing him: Revulsion. Desire. Admiration. Phwoar.
J: YES! YES! I feel exactly the same. But actually, when it comes to revulsion I mostly think that is something I should feel but absolutely do not.
K: Mate, is Prince in your top ten?
J: Kind of. Like, in a way he is the number one. ICHI BAN! But not in a real way. It's hard to explain. He is so awesome. Like a beautiful angel. But mate, we are getting off topic. We are talking creepy sexy. Not top 10. Do you want to tell the people who else you think is creepy sexy?
K: Sure, I'll tell the people who else is creepy sexy. I think Bonnie Prince Billy is creepy sexy. He is extremely, extremely sexual and creepual. Don't you think?
J: Let's see what the readers think?
J: Yeah, that wasn't fair. This is what he normally looks like:
Look, I know J doesn't agree with me on this one, but BPB walks a similar path to Prince. He makes super great music. That music is overtly sexual. On paper, he shouldn't be attractive at all but he is, readers. He is!
Just like Prince!
J: OK, here is a picture of BPB singing his very beautiful music:
And it is true, his music is awesome and it is overtly sexual, and far from making it and him repulsive it makes them both attractive. I guess the problem is, for me, next to Prince, nothing compares.
K: Well yes, there is that. But like you said, this chat is about creepy sexy, not just Prince, and we owe it to all the other creepy sexy babies out there to give them some time to shine.
OK, this next one is going to do nothing to dissuade the readers from thinking that I am indeed creepy. But I have to say what I feel, and I feel that this man is creepy sexy.
J: Look... Gee... Um... Look...
I am not going to get into a debate about the attractiveness of RdN but, creepy sexy? You are right, this definitely says more about you then him. Go on defend it.
K: Well, OK, sure, I will do that. I mean, I could if I wanted to. Any time. Easily! I just don't feel like it right now.
Jokies! You really must see Godfather part 2 to understand creepy sexy RdN.
K: Now cop a look at that, would you? Obviously he is a handsome devil. But when I first saw him, around the Cape Fear era, he was less handsome and just more out and out compelling. Like you know you should be repelled or something, but you're not mate. You're not.
J: I thought you'd never ask!
J: Sure. I understand what you are saying. Creepy compelling sexy. I can dig it. And definitely I would say de Niro has that.
Look I think that Bobby and Bonnie both have special creepy hotness, but for me they are not in the same category as Prince. And I don't just mean he is so far above them (though I think that too). What I mean is that they actually inhabit different categories of special hunk.
K: Interesting. Go on.
J: So either a) creepy sexy means different things to you and me; or b) you crazy girlfriend!
K: Both are possible. Is there anyone else you think is creepy sexy?
J: Ummmmm. Ummmmmmmmmmmm. Well....
Shit. I thought it was. I thought it was about creepy sexy. But it's just about Prince. I love him. I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!
K: Shit mate, you really love him. It's cool.You wanna show the readers some more pictures?
J: I thought you'd never ask!
But seriously folks. I want to say one more thing about why Prince is so awesome. Two. Two things.
Have you seen the way he dances? HOT
K: You're right. it's really hot.
J: Also, he always seems to be having such an awesome time. And everything is kind of a joke. He is not earnest about all that sexuality. HOT!
K: Totally good point. Dude is always having a great time. And that's something that you certainly can't say about BPB and RdN. Creepy sexy though they are.
J: Exactly! (To the first point, second point remains unconfirmed.) And that is why Prince is KING OF CREEPY SEXY! #creepysexyforl