What we talk about when we talk about Miss Soft Crab(AM)

The other day I was having lunch with Russeth and I asked him if he had read Miss Soft Crab that day.

"No" he said, "I haven't been reading it lately".

'Why not?" I asked him. "Do you hate us?".

"Yes" he said, and then we both laughed and got on with eating our lunch. He doesn't really hate us. He was just making a joke. 

Later, we were walking back to our respective offices and we walked under a gantry, which is the name they give to that scaffolding they construct around buildings under renovation. It reminded me of that time I was walking under a gantry in NYC and a pigeon took a dump on me.

I decided to tell Russeth about the time I was walking under a gantry in NYC and a pigeon took a dump on me. In telling the story, I focused, as I always do, on how unexpectedly warm the pigeon poo was.

He said "Well, yeah, I guess it would be warm. Pigeons are warm blooded creatures."

We walked on a little, and he said "I wonder how warm pigeons actually are".

As soon as he said this, I immediately thought of a joke. It was the kind of joke I find extremely funny.  I felt a little flutter in my chest, such as I get when I know the opportunity to make my joke is fleeting, and if I don't move quickly then it will disappear completely. I opened my mouth and said:

"Yeah, like, what is their core birdy temperature?". 

Straight away, I started laughing at my joke, I guess you could say hysterically.  I am chuckling even now as a write this. 

Russeth looked at me and said

"That's why I don't read Miss Soft Crab", and he was only half joking. 


I don't care you guys. I loved my joke and I hope you love it too.