Hunk of the Month Club: Viggo Mortensen

Today, Miss Soft Crab is delighted to introduce our greatest innovation since Haiku Thursday: the Miss Soft Crab Hunk of the Month Club, or HotMC. 

From now on, the last Friday of the month is going to be devoted to a very special hunk that Miss Soft Crab wants to spend a little time thinking about. You see, life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop to look around every once in a while, you could miss it. That goes double for hunks. 

Who wants that? Not us. 

Welcome to the very first HotMC. And who better to pop our Hunk of the Month cherry than Viggo Mortensen, truly a hunk for all seasons. 

Fundamentals of this Hunk.

Viggo Mortensen is a 54-year-old hunk who, according to Wikipedia, had an American mother and a Danish Father. In addition to being an actor, Wikipedia advises that Viggo is also a poet, musician, photographer and painter. Where do you find the time, Viggo?

Times when you may have noticed what a hunk this hunk is.

Viggo was a baby-faced hunk in the film Witness with Harrison Ford. He is one of the amish guys who helped raise that barn in that great scene where they raise the barn!

He was then in a whole bunch of films that no one has seen, including Young Guns II and something called Black Velvet Pantsuit where he played the character of "worthless junkie". I feel weird about that. Some folks might have seen him in Portrait of a Lady, but I'm not one of them because that film seemed kind of annoying  to me so I never saw it. Hopefully you didn't see him in 28 Days with Sandra Bullock and McNulty, because that was a terrible film. But Viggo sure did look like a hunk in it.

Of course, we all saw him break the hunk mould in Lord of the Rings where he played Aragorn, rightful heir to the throne of hunks, I mean, Gondor.

Open discussion

Viggo in 28 Days. Don't watch it, it's terrible. 

J: Viggo is a top hunk! I love that guy. I have seen Portrait of a Lady but somehow I did not notice Viggo. WTF?! Also I have see Young Guns II but that was in the early nineties when I was too busy paying all my attention to Christian Slater - talk about misspent youth. Misspent on the wrong hunk!

Of course I have also seen 28 Days. I hate that film but have seen it about a million times, thanks to the Foxtel of K's youth and the lure of Viggo. Watched it on TV just the other night in fact. Didn't want to, but could not resist the lure of Viggo

But I think it is fair to say that for me, Viggo really came into his own/my top 20 in The Lord of the Rings trilogy. Hells yeah. If he hadn't been there maybe I would of gone gaga for Orlando. I did dig on his Legolas, but that kid didn't stand a chance next to Strider. 

K: I know, poor Orlando. Such a pretty little elf, but so useless in the face of Strider/Aragorn/Viggo.

Remember that bit in Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring when the fellowship are taking a little break and hobbits are capering about and then Viggo laughs? 

I remember that bit where Viggo laughs better than I remember entire years of my life.

I also think Viggo's recent collaborations with David Cronenberg have really consolidated his hunkiness. Take A History of Violence, where he combines extreme handsomeness with extreme creepiness for one of the headiest brews of hunkiness going around. Eastern Promises, where he is covered in tattoos and goes to the bathhouse for some naked knife fighting! Come here and do that, guy!

J: I think Orlando is doing fine without us on his side.

And SHIT! I hadn't thought about Aragorn laughing in god knows how long! Too long! I love that bit. I mean a brooding hunk is hot but a laughing hunk! Get the eff outta here!

And I totally agree about Cronenberg and Mortensen making totally beautiful music together. Both those movies are great. And Viggo, I especially love him as that fucked up Russian.

So what is it that makes Viggo such a boner bona fide hunk? Our first HotMC hunk?! Is it something like face+brooding+slight creepiness+rugged=megahunk ?

K:  I think you've heat the nail on the head there mate. Viggo is off the charts hunky because he is an handsome, slightly creepy, super masculine (but in that good way) megahunk. 


Another dimension of his appeal is the fact that he looks like a mature hunk. Viggo is not a young man. In fact, there is a 5 in his age and it's right there at the front. And he doesn't disguise it, nor try to look like a younger man. He just goes around looking like a really really hot middle aged man. 


J: I know; sometimes I feel a little conflicted about finding a man of 54 so attractive. Will a time come when I know longer find Viggo attractive? It's hard to imagine. I keep expecting to not find him attractive, you know. Same goes for Liam Neeson. You know we are in fact closer in age to Taylor Lautner.


K: #ohshit
    #ohwell


I also like how he seems like the type who would like animals and probably has a dog. Don't you think?

J: I bet Viggo loves dogs! 

Hot!

HOT!