This morning I was lying in bed, listening to the radio while half asleep, and heard what sounded like someone saying that scientists have made a breakthrough in their use of stem cell therapies, allowing them to restore hearing to deaf gerbils.
At first, I thought cute!
Then I started to think gee, I didn't realise that deafness was an issue in the gerbil community, and if it is, how did the scientists know about it? Could all those things people say about sex and gerbils be true, and could the use of gerbils in sex acts have caused the scientists to become aware of an hearing affliction within the species? Were those early sex gerbils in fact little fuzzy pioneers who's sacrifice will be remembered by generations of gerbils with crystal clear hearing? Then I started to think shit scientists, I know gerbils deserve quality of life too, but shouldn't you really be trying to make things better for humans, not gerbils, you sick fu(ks?
Then I realised that it was 6:15am, I was half asleep and there was a fair chance that I had misheard the radio presenter and in fact it wasn't deaf gerbils in whom scientists had restored hearing using stems cells, it was probably something like deaf Germans. There would be no massive public health intervention directed at gerbils and I needn't worry about the misuse of public money (which is something I worry about all the time) or that scientists are creepy.
I chuckled at myself for being a dufus, then I chuckled at myself for real over all those gerbil thoughts I had then I tried to squeeze in a few more minutes of shut-eye.
Now I am properly awake and there is this. I guess the world makes both a little more and a little less sense to me now.
Anyway, TGIF you guys.