What a complete and utter drag.
I really feel like hating on Monday right now, but I don't really want to impose all my negativity on you guys, so I'm going to do this thing Neville taught me to do instead. I think its some kind of cognitive behavioural therapy thing, where whenever you feel yourself hating on someone or something, you preface whatever you are about to say with "Good on you....". It's meant to shut that negativity right down. Par example, lets say you're waiting for a tram that refuses to come, and you're already late for a thing. The typical K dialogue might be something like:
WTF tram! Where the eff are you? Why won't you come you stupid idiot! I'm standing here waiting for you like a massive chump and where are you? Where are you?
After applying the negative/positive switcheroo, you might end up with something like:Good for you tram, taking your time and savouring the journey. Sure, you're not here at your scheduled time and i'm going to be late for my thing, but who wants to be a slave to a timetable anyway? Show em who's boss, trammy!
It's kind of helpful I guess. Or something.
Sometimes I do it when the girls who live next door to me sit in their back yard smoking and talking really loudly about totally boring stuff at one or two in the morning.
I think Good for you girls, smoking your Benson and Hedges like cancer isn't really a thing, and like people who live next door to you and like to have their window open of an evening don't care about the gross cigarette smell wafting in and interrupting their slumber. Other people might worry about how loud their voices are, but not you girls, you girls are carefree spirits. Good for you, skanky little sprites!
In the spirit of this method, I guess I have the following things to say to Monday.
Good on you Monday. Here you are again. If trams were as reliable as you, we'd never be late for anything. And it must be good to have an awesome Bangles song named after you!
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