Saturday, April 30, 2011


So while I was waiting for Rhapsody in Blue to download from the iTunes store the other night, I did a little tinkering about on the Internet looking for other things that would make me nice and inspired for my trip to NYC. Instead I found this. UGH.
Ugh so much!
Why is GOOP so annoying?
And why are GOOP and Jay-Z friends? Is Jay-Z a dickhead? I always thought that he was the opposite of a dickhead, but maybe that's just because I want him to be and have been ignoring the signs.
So many things about this annoy me. I guess it would be safe to say that everything she says and the way she says it annoys me, starting with the first words of the first line: "Mr. Carter (aka Jay- Z)".
She might as well have written
Dear World, I know Jay-Z! We are friends. We are such good friends that I have a nickname for him. It is his actual name, but, like, the most formal version of his name. Do you get it? It's so funny!
But it gets more annoying later, when she says "As someone who has walked through museums with you, eaten with you, heard music with you, I know firsthand how creativity in all areas lifts your consciousness. Do you feel that as a cultural figure of importance, it is part of your responsibility to share what inspires you?".
What can I say about that, apart from the contents of some post-it notes that a work friend gave me one time .

(I know, how hilarious are those post-its. They are too special to use.)

But back to GOOP. Seriously, who the fuck does she think she is? Again with the I'm friends with Jay-Z, but now she follows up with a some lame justification for her lame website disguised as admiration for her special friend. WTF times infinity, right?
I'm afraid Jay-Z sounds like a pretty big tool also.
Par example, when he responds to GOOP's question about how "the f " he became so cool with "I'm around great women, starting with my mom. Women keep men cool. The hotter the chick, the cooler the guy...that sounds like a really bad rap line."
Yes it does you knob-end, yes it does. Much like I've got 99 problems but the bitch ain't one, you tool.

Of course I then went and had a look at the Jay-Z website, including the equally annoying Jay-Z interview with GOOP which I'll let you discover in your own time. The website is fine, but I'm pretty sure it's not "incredible". Is having the content of a magazine, but up on a website, incredible? If so, you are letting me down, Internet.

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