Monday, October 1, 2012

The circle of life (AM)

Sometimes in the pursuit of ideas, happiness, laughter, time-wastage/procrastination I reread old Miss Soft Crab posts. Yeah I love myself, what's it to ya? It's actually pretty interesting writing this blog, it makes me attuned to my patterns of thought in a way I never was before. I guess now that I write shit down and share it with more people than just K (that's you, our dear five readers) I pay more attention to my brain and also don't want to bore the shit out of you guys by banging on about the same old stuff all the time. Problem is though I pretty much have a five-track mind.

It turns out that I have no idea what this one-track metaphor relates to. Records? Roads? Or as someone on suggested train tracks? I guess that does make the most sense in a way, even though it didn't cross my mind. Anyway, hopefully this generic visual interpretation of my brain tracks gets the point across. If you chose an email that K and I wrote to each other on any normal day from the last 12 or so years that we've been emailing you would see that it pretty much jumps all those tracks. Probably it starts out with some pleasantries. Then It would move to what someone had for dinner or was thinking of having for lunch or dinner. Then it would move to what someone is wearing or some new piece of clothing one of us wants. Then, inevitably, hunks. We are nothing if not predictable. But you probably know that by now.

An email from last December, for example, with the subject line "Karen sure knew what she was talking about" for reasons I can not remember (Mate, can you help a sister out?) gives us the following excerpt:

J: Hi Mate. How are you today? I am fine thanks. I like my pants, but I hate that Gorman jumper i am wearing. I took it off in fact. Now I am wearing a t-shirt.

K: Hi Mate, I'm fine thanks too. How was your dinner last night? I had the round food for dinner again...I'm wearing a kit that can really only be described as nondescript office girl. It consists of black tights, a black dress, a black wrap around cardigan type deal and a beige scarf. #boringbutacceptable

J: Round food! Oh mate. My dinner was good, but pretty full on. There were three problems: [outline problems of cooking and eating fritto misto with aoili]. 

It's true that no hunks appear in this email, but this isn't a science.
Another thing I have noticed about my brain is that it is totally cyclical. In the major seasonal changes, that is winter to spring and summer to autumn I become obsessed with my look. On the weekend I bought Vogue. Basically I only buy fashion magazines at this seasonal change and its because of said obsession. I guess that after a season of being to totally dominated by the elements and all clothing choices being driven by practicality, the shoulder seasons of autumn and spring bring a very exciting liberation.The prospect of dressing for cuteness not just need.

The transition seasons also bring a lot of hope. And with that hope, broken dreams. In spring the delight of sunshine, dashed by rain and hail. In autumn thoughts of tweed jackets and red wine, dashed by the need for more bulk than tweed and more sleep than lots of red wine allows. I guess this is what Elton John and Tim Rice called the circle of life.


  1. So far this was my favourite post, ever. Even more than the one about Andrew McCarthy. I await a retro-hunks about Richard Grieco

    1. Because you've never read a truer word on the internet?