I share your hair fail

OMG, mate was it THIS straightening product you bought? The one with 50 times the safe level of formaldehyde in it?! I think you should stay away from hair straightening products mate. But I understand why you were tempted.

You know, after your original grooming post, I thought I would try to do a little hair specialness myself. I tried to recreate the hairstyle that I wore for AB's wedding. Here I am in the hairdressers chair, getting it done.

I really loved that hair style. People complimented me on it all night, so much so that I started to think that my hair must look really fug most of the time, because there was genuine surprise in most people's compliments. Anyway, it was an awesome hairstyle and it took the hairdresser all of five minutes to prepare. Five minutes! That's nothing, right? I couldn't help but think that if it was so easy for him, perhaps I could do it too.
The other day I tried.
It ended up looking like this.
I can't do it guys.

Groom Quest 2011 - Part 1 (Fail)

In the interest of grooming I almost did something crazy. I am really obsessed with grooming right now. I have other concerns of course. Global warming. Libya. The world economy. (Right?) I am not purely vain and grooming obsessed. But there is a part of me that thinks about it a lot.

Anyway I bought a hair straightening product. It's not the first time, sure. I mean, I have owned a hair straightener for years but in recent times I have really learned to love my curls and that is why I felt kind of weird about buying this product. It was some 30 day straightening thing. And you think that the name would have given it away but it wasn't till I got it home that I realised it was a really serious chemical straightening thing that would last 30 DAYS!

I bought it due to the culmination of a number of things. These things really:

• The other day I straightened my hair because I was going out and needed to do something with it. And I was really happy with the result, which was not straight but sort of sleek wavy.
• Having a fringe really makes it difficult on the days when I don't have the time or inclination to wet and then dry my hair - which is really the only option.
• I bought Vogue last week. A thing I never do. And it was boring and most of the fashion uninspiring, but I guess because right now I am more about grooming than fashion it did make me want to buy grooming products.
• Thirty dollars spent on hair product for a new easy look seemed like a sound investment.
  

Anyway I go the product home and started reading about it and it had similar instructions to a home dye. Use in a well-ventilated area, do a patch test, yada yada yada. So you apply this stuff and then use your straightener and then voila 30 days of straight hair.

Crazy right! This seemed crazy to me. I did not want to apply all that shit to my hair only to do a dud job of the straightening or find out that it did something super weird to my hair. So I returned the product and bought some $10 anti-frizz stuff. Which was as useless as every other anti-frizz product I have ever bought.

I am beginning to suspect that Groom Quest 2011 may be as difficult as Harry's search for horcruxes. I only hope it is ultimately as successful.

My dad is funny too

HAHAHA! A pig called Maurice! Nice one, Big K.

You know readers my dad and K's dad, Big K, are pretty opposite. My dad is lean, a man of words and numbers. Though he does enjoy watching the footy sometimes and giving me a hard time because Collingwood are now better than Geelong. He also enjoys beer. But in many (most) ways our dads are pretty different. They are friends though. (It's true. Our parents go on double dates.)

Anyway my dad totally exemplified himself this weekend too.

On Saturday I mentioned to Mum that I had tried to buy the book Freedom but I guess everyone in Melbourne had the same idea because I could not find it (in the one bookshop I tried). On Sunday Mum and Dad went to see Jonathan Franzen talk and afterwards got a copy of Freedom signed for me. (Isn't that nice?)

I don't know if you guys know much about Franzen but he is very charming and affable.

Apparently during his talk on Sunday he had misquoted Goering, saying "When I hear the word culture I reach for my revolver." But apparently the quote is "...I reach for my Browning." This is much cleverer and funnier of course because Browning is not only the name of a gun but also a poet. My dad knows all the quotes, you see. He knows all the stuff. So while getting the book signed Dad took the opportunity to tell Jonathan Franzen of the proper quote. Oh my God, Dad. He's Jonathan Franzen. Let him say what he wants! (But because he is so charming and affable Franzen was a total mensch about it.)

An amusing thing my Dad said on the weekend

I went to the footy on Sunday with Midbro, Niecey and my Dad.
Dees vs Gold Coast Suns. Go Dees!
Remember Niecey's first trip to the footy? Well her second visit was just as cute, AND she got to go on to the ground after the game. Niecey's first time on the hallowed turf of the MCG! I tried to get a photo but was worried that one of the 1500 footballs being kicked around would hit me, ahem, I mean Niecey, in the head and so didn't manage to capture the precious moment.

Anyway, fun as it was to take Niecey on to the MCG, the highlight was actually this hilarious thing my Dad said.

Firstly, let me tell you a little about my Dad.
He is what one might refer to as a typical Aussie bloke. He likes to drink beer, eat steak and watch the footy, preferably together. When he goes to go to the toilet he tells everyone he is going to see a man about a dog. He talks in rhyming slang for reals.When I was little he wore nothing but a blue t-shirt and blue stubbies for about 3 years. He has a moustache. He looks exactly like Coxy but sounds exactly like Bill Hunter.

He's a total tough nut, but turns to marshmallow for Niecey. Loves the shi+ out of her. It's pretty adorable really. You know those pictures of gorillas hugging kittens? Well that's what it looks like when my Dad holds Niecey. He will also do almost anything to keep her entertained, which is why he had a bunch of soft toys with him at the footy on Sunday, to keep her amused in the event the Dees were not putting on a blistering show (totally unlikely Dad!!). One of these toys was a small rubber pig, quite like a rubber ducky, but actually a piggy. Niecey kept sucking on it then giving it to me, then I would wipe it down on my membership scarf and hand it back. It went on like this for some time. Apparently this is an awesome game when you are very small. While wiping off the baby saliva one time, I discovered that the pig's name was printed on the bottom. ALEX, it said. How cute! I thought.
I turned to Dad and said " Hey Dad, guess what this pig's name is?"
"Porky", he said.
"No, try again!"
"Snuffles" he guessed.
"No, not snuffles".
"Is it Oinker?" he asked.
"No Dad, it's not a pig's name, it's a gentleman's name".
"Maurice?" he said.

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Maurice!

Get off, LaBeouf

I'm afraid I have seen that pile of crap film, and not only that, I saw it at the cinema. I knew it would be crap but I did it anyway. Why did I do that? What a terrible life choice!
I remember almost nothing about it, except that Harrison Ford looked very very old. Were they looking for something in a giant warehouse at some point? Are there aliens? Don't bother answering because I really don't care.

I really loved Raiders of the Lost Ark though. My brothers and I watched it over and over when we were little. I also loved Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, mainly because River Phoenix was the young Indiana and I loved River Phoenix very very much when I was a teenager.

But back to your point about the 1980s being a time where a ridiculous premise was no impediment to films being made, and being awesome. I think you're on to something mate.
I mean, do we all remember Labyrinth?
It's basically a musical about kidnapping, but with Muppets and David Bowie.
I just don't think a studio would back that up these days. I don't even know who the contemporary equivalent of David Bowie would be. Maybe Beck?
Anyway, I love Labyrinth and I'm extremely glad it was made. But geez, keep your crazy ideas in the 1980s people. And Shia LaBeouf, you are not now and never will be a Miss Soft Crab hunk. Get off our blog loser.

And now, Magic Dance!!

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Poo

Have you seen the fourth Indiana Jones movie? Indiana Jones at Castle Greyskull or something like that. Me neither. Well not really.

It was on TV the other night and I saw a few minutes of it. The best thing I can say about it is that this post just started writing itself in my head pretty much immediately and I was reminded of this hilarious thing I read about Shia LaBeouf a while ago. This article summed up everything I "feel" about that guy if this could be called "feelings".

What a freaking ridiculous movie! So it got me thinking about the other IJ movies. I have not seen those movies in a long time. It is hard to say if it is because I was a kid when I saw them but they did not seem ridiculous in the same way as IJ4. Watching even a few minutes of this latest film kind of angered me. The earlier films, though, I liked a lot. I know they are ridiculous in a way, but a much more acceptable way. I don't know if it is because of the age I was when I saw them or because they were made in the 80s. Ridiculousness worked so much better then. A time when Weekend at Bernie's seemed like not just a reasonable premise for one movie, but also for a sequel. So no wonder the Indiana Jones movies seemed ok.

As I'm sure most normal people haven't seen IJ4, let me tell you some of the stupidest shit that happened in the 10 minutes I saw. Shia LaBeouf appeared on the screen heaps. As if that wasn't bad enough he conducted some sort of sword fight with the villain, Cate Blanchett, straddled over two cars. Yes. She is standing atop one car and his party is driving next to her in another car so he is standing with one leg on each car. And they are driving through a jungle of course. So he keeps getting hit in the nuts by foliage so you see he has to cup his hand over them while he is fighting. WHAT THE EFF?

A little bit later Indiana Jones is fighting a Nazi who he punches down. The Nazi hits the ground and is then carried off by a swarm of giant ants into their anthill. No doubt to be devoured. I am not making this shit up! I wish I was. Then maybe someone would give me shitloads of money to make an awful film.

I know that in previous movies one guy dies when another man sticks his heart through his chest and rips out his heart. In another a Nazi's face melts off. But this death by ants is something else all together.

This latest film does mimic the rhythm of the earlier films very well. That was actually a bit speci... no I'm sorry I tried to be generous. I can't.

You absolutely do not have to ask me twice to consider more hunks

People are way too dependent on Google. You think Google is going to find your missing finger, guy? Google doesn't have all the answers. It has a lot of answers but not all the answers.

But I digress. Why talk about finger loss when we can talk about hunks? Right? Am I right?
It's true, Ewan is very special. I am not denying that. But the world is full of hunks. Why is everyone (that finds their way here) Googling Ewan?
But also, and I mean no disrespect, how many Google pages are you clicking through to get here? Seriously?! Out of curiosity I once googled Ewan to see how many pages of Google you had to click through to get to Miss Soft Crab and I had to stop searching before I found it. And I clicked through a bunch of Google pages. There is a lot of Ewan content out there. People Googling Ewan have far too much time in their hands if they are finding themselves here. Welcome, by the way!

And mate, you are right! They should be giving some of that time to Marky Mark! Colin! The Hammster!

For your consideration: hunks other than Ewan McGregor

Did you know that the most frequently used search terms that lead people to Miss Soft Crab are "Ewan McGregor" and "Ewan McGregor, Trainspotting"?

It's true.
Day after day it is always the same. Occasionally there are additional terms, like "african violet propagation" and "barry hall's girlfriend", and the other day one of the most popular terms was "my missing finger". My missing finger!? MY missing finger? What are you looking on the internet for, you should be looking on the end of your hand!
But seriously, it is the search for Ewan that most consistently sends people our way, and let me now say to those people: welcome to Miss Soft Crab, you are well and truly amongst friends here.

I do, however, feel it is my duty to tell you that while I fully understand your interest in Ewan, perhaps you might like to take the time to consider some of the other hunks we have on offer.

Consider Colin.

Meander through our musings on Marky Mark.

Delight in Don.

There is a whole world to explore readers, you should look around and see what you like before you tie yourselves down.

Just saying.

Work can be fun

That sounds like a nice enough first day.

And I love the art on your hot desk.

(At my work, if someone is working at a desk that does not belong to them, we say they are working at a 'hot desk'. Sometimes we say they are 'hot desking'. Is that a thing?)

I for one can't wait to hear more about your workplace as you settle in and get to know it better. I love stories about others peoples' work. The dumb rules. The weird things.

You know, just the other day, Coco was telling me about an hilarious thing that happened at her work. She works at a massive Commonwealth bureaucracy we'll call the DEF. Like all massive Commonwealth bureaucracies, the DEF needs to watch what it spends. To this end, all staff were recently sent an email that said something like:

The DEF supplies tea and coffee facilities for all stuff, including fresh milk each day. This milk is not to be used for other purposes, such as putting on breakfast cereal.
If staff continue to use milk for other purposes, the DEF will consider discontinuing the supply of milk.

OK, I'm totally paraphrasing here, but that was the substance of the message. Stop putting the milk on your cereal, or will will stop supplying it.
HAHAHA. Good luck stopping people using milk on their breakfast cereal, DEF! Eating breakfast at work is one of the things that gets people out of bed and in to work!
Apparently a major uproar ensued, which led to the union getting involved and eventually the management had to back down. Now people at the DEF can use milk however they want. Hooray!

I also love stories about the weird co-workers.

Say, have I ever told you about Bobby two-times? One of my weird co-workers?
He always answers questions twice. Par example:
K: "Hey Bobby, how are you going with that task I gave you before?"
BX2"Not bad. Not bad."

K: "Bobby, is there any paper in tray 2 of the copier?"
BX2: "A little bit. A little bit."

I'm pretty sure people make up questions to ask him, just to see if he will do it and he never disappoints.

I can't wait to hear about your work's weird stuff mate!

The new job (again)

After my embarrassing attempt a couple of days ago to tell you about my new job I thought I should probably try again. And address the question on everybody’s mind. What kind of biscuits are in the tearoom? Well I can address that question but I can’t answer it. I WISH I could answer it, but sadly I have to tell you I don’t have a clue. I think there aren’t any biscuits in the tearoom. But as if I would know! My tour of the office was at 4PM, after almost a whole day there. And thank god it happened when it did because I was busting by the time I was shown where the toilets were.

The kitchenette I had found on my own earlier because it is between my desk and the front door and dehydration had forced me into it. But as there was a bunch of people standing around and I wasn’t sure of the glass-borrowing etiquette I got my water and got the hell outta there before I could get a good look around. Don’t worry, if I do find biscuits I will let you know all about it.

My first, and so far only, day on the job was fine. Most of my department I know from a previous job. And they are all nice. My boss seems lovely and says things like, “Shit! …as they say in the classics.” I had to sit at someone else’s desk. He was away for the day and my soon-to-be desk has not yet been vacated. The desk was messy, but on the wall it had an adorable intergalactic + terrestrial hand drawing. That looked a little bit like this:

So that was pretty cute.

And after work when I was starving, because apparently sitting at a desk for several hours a day will do that to me, I got to buy myself everybody’s favourite spanakopita.

So I guess other than the face-plant inducing tiredness, working in an office is not so bad.*

*Based on one day, which was also sunny so therefore nothing could be that bad and on which I was given only a little work, so of course it was not stressful and of course all jobs start out ok. Look, I’m trying to start out positive. Chut up.

Poor guy is right

Ouch!

As I was reading your post this morning I just kept hoping you were wrong. I kept thinking, maybe this guy is writing to his girlfriend. His new HD (that's hot date for those of you that prefer words) perhaps. Just because you (and I) would not really dig on a texter addressing you (or I) as 'sexy' doesn't mean there aren't a bunch of ladies out there who would. Maybe the text recipient likes this guy and whatever he says is ok by her. Especially when he wrote 'save some nights for me', I was encouraged. Because this seemed far to bold for anyone other than a boyfriend or HD. But then when he changed it I was discouraged.

The reply really did say it all. Coffee! Sunday! Pick me up! Can't she get her own way there? Gee, I hope things work out for tram guy.

Poor guy

I catch the #96 tram to work in the mornings, because it is nice and fast and I always get a seat. Sometimes I get out of my seat because a person who is not technically old but probably older than 50 is standing near me, making me feel guilty because they are standing and I am sitting. I never want to vacate my seat for these people and really, they should be flattered I don't think they are old enough to vacate a seat for, but I always do because I can't handle the guilt. Anyway, it was because of this looming guilt that I scampered out of my seat one recent morning, took a spot standing in the doorway and found myself reading over the shoulder of a young man as he composed the following text message:
"OK sexy, I know ur exhausted. Have a great wkend. Its going to be sunny all next week, so save some nights for me!"
Ew! Isn't that gross?!
But it got worse. He edited it to read:
"OK sexy, I know ur exhausted. I'm here for u wnevr u need me. Have a great wkend...etc."

My first thought was keep your PG rated sexting with its nasty abbreviations to yourself guy! But I couldn't look away. Lets break it down, shall we?

Firstly, that he called her 'sexy' makes me think he wants to do it with her. Secondly, that he expressed understanding that she is tired makes me think he has tried to organise a date with her, but she has blown him off. This made me feel a little bad for the guy. He already cut a pretty depressing figure. He looked like someone who might work in a mobile phone store. He wore a diamond earring and had a goatee. His jacket was way too big for him and though I only saw him sitting down, it seemed like he might be a short man. None of it boded terribly well for the guy's chances of doing it with his text recipient.

But the rewrite was really the worst part. "I'm here for u wnevr you need me"!!??. I wanted to lean down and say "No guy, don't do it! Its too much! You sound a little pathetic and there is no way she is going to do it with you then!"

Of course, you can't just say all of this to a stranger on the tram, so I just watched as he sent this terrible text message to the lady he is trying to do it with, knowing it would only make things worse.

After he sent it, I started to think that perhaps I had it all wrong. Maybe she is going through a difficult time, and his saying "i'm here for you" was actually a really nice thing. But I doubt it.

My suspicions were confirmed when he received a reply that read:

"I may have some time on Sunday afternoon. Would you like to pick me up and take me out for coffee then?"
Coffee? Sunday afternoon?
Poor guy.

Asleep on the job

Wake up mate!

It's a really nice day outside and you don't have to go to work so you can totally go out and enjoy the heck out of it!
You're totally right though, work is pretty tiring.
It's really a wonder more people don't face plant. In all my working life, I've only ever seen two people asleep at their desks, and neither had face planted.
One was sitting upright in her swivel chair, looking very much like the rest of us, but totally asleep. The other one was draped across his desk, using his forearm as a pillow, totally embracing the sleep. He used to do it all the time actually. I guess someone spoke to him about it because he hasn't done it in ages and seems to be able to work right through the day.

More importantly J, I think you you forgot to tell us what type of biscuits they have at new work.
Tell us!

The new job

I started a new job yesterday!

I havent worked in an office for about 18 months. I've been doing freelance work, sure, but just 6-15 hours a week. Not work where I have to wake up early and then look and be respectable for eight hours.

The first thing I've noticed is that it is so tiring. Last night I was exhausted and even after 10 hours sleep I still feel really tired. The sort of tired where I feel like I may just faceplant my computer any minufydpyodyosufvibo

YES YES YES

YES! To everything

I love Mankoushe! I loved the sashimi at Kumo Izakaya! And our special tatami room! I loved all the food I ate on the weekend! And I love to feed a hangover!

I hate surreptitious blogging on the first day of a new job! Eeek!

This weekend in food

I had a rip snorter of a food weekend.

On Friday night I went to Lupino with Banana and we had potato, rosemary and taleggio pizza. we sat up at the bar which looks over the kitchen and watched the chefs work. While sitting there I realised two things: quattro formaggio sauce should really be called cheeses and cream due to the volume of cream it involves, and kitchens must have excellent ventilation because even though I was 2 meters away from a stove covered in pots and pans simmering with this and that, I couldn't smell any cooking smells. Amazing!

On Saturday night, the Chutney Club family went to Kumo Izakaya, East Brunswick's hottest new izakaya. We had our very own private tatami room which was super awesome. We ate a banquet that included (amongst other things) edamame, sashimi, beef tataki, yakitori, ox tongue and finally ice cream. It was all delicious but readers, my god, that sashimi!

If they told me that the fish from which the sashimi came were specially reared in secret waters where there are no predators and therefore the fishies live a life of only joy and happiness and security and have access to all the pilchards they could wish for, I would believe it. It was the most delicious sashimi I have ever had.
Of course, we also consumed a lot of Sapporo and sake and therefore there was much hilarity and cooking up of plans to go camping over the cup weekend. (Lets totally do that guys, it is a great plan!)

However, due to personal levels of sake and Sapporo consumption, the K motor required a bit of a kick start on Sunday morning. Luckily Chez K is right around the corner from Mankoushe, East Brunswick's hottest Lebanese pizza pie bakery (or something). I don't know about you guys, but when I think "how will I manage this mild hanover?" I pretty much always decide that I should feed it until it goes away and I was very optimistic about Mankoushe's ability to help me do this. I got a pizza with lamb and egg and then slathered it with chili sauce from Oasis bakery, then sat in the sun and ate it while I read the paper.


Readers, DO THIS! I wanted to high five myself with every bite. It was the perfect medicine, and one that I needed because AB, Chambo, Lil and I had a lunch reservation at The Estelle and I really wanted to be in top form for The Estelle.

For those of you who missed it, here is what J and I had to say about The Estelle last time we went. Everything we said then still applies. I really think it is one of the greats and I can't wait to go again. AB, Lil and Chambo are all very well, but Lil has to go to the toilet all the time because she is pretty pregnant these days and AB had to wear a wrist splint because she has RSI. The RSI set in a few weeks ago when she bought a bunch of paint samples to test out on the wall of the house she is renovating with Mr. AB in South Yarra. It seems that the action of painting many small squares on the wall can cause wrist damage. I would have liked to have included a photo, but AB kept flipping me the bird whenever I tried to snap a picture because she thought I would ridicule her.
AB, I seek only to raise awareness of this affliction! Anyway, it was a great weekend full of lovely food with lovely people. And did you guys see all that sunshine! Man alive!

Pride and Prejudice: You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you

Mate, you've said it all.
That book is a dead set Friday Favourite. My copy aint as pretty as yours, but it is definitely full of the same awesomeness, obviously because it is the same book, i.e. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen.

Like everyone who has ever read it, at first I hated Mr Darcy's guts until I realised that he was actually the best guy ever and Mr Wickham is the true knob jockey. Now I love Darcy very much, especially when he is also Colin Firth.

Apparently Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle (the lady who played Lizzie in the 1995 BBC version) were doing it in real life when they were making that series. Hot.

Three cheers for Pride and Prejudice!

Friday Favourites - Pride and Prejudice

The other day I was perusing a book shelf of my folks and found this adorable version of Pride and Prejudice.


I have read this book a bunch of times and in fact even read this very copy of it before. But I saw it on the shelf and thought, isn’t that a lovely edition, I want to read it. Then I thought, come on, you’ve read that book a bunch of times. But a few days later I couldn’t resist and started reading it. I mean, look at it ! About the size of my hand, cloth bound AND an awesome book!

You guys, it is totally a Friday Favourite! I love this book so much. It is so rich. And full of tension and excitement. Even though I knew exactly what was going to happen I still was so swept up in it and felt the bloom of love and all the attendant disappointments. Seriously, I couldn’t stop smiling when Elizabeth and Darcy got together. But it’s not just that, there is so much depth to the world created in it. I really dug on imagining Bingley and Darcy sitting around talking about how in love with the Bennet girls they were. There is so much in it that it creates this really full world that you can think about and imagine.

Of course I can not read it without thinking of this Darcy.


What an excellent Darcy. I love that guy!

I guess what I am trying to say is that I love the shit out of this book. And I am really happy I read it again.

Although it is not as wonderful of the book, just in case people feel like a little Friday distraction, perhaps you would like to watch a clip from the BBC series. This one shows Darcy to advantage. (A gentleman and his dogs).

More Haiku Thursday

Twitter
Resisting Twitter
I know why I did. Because
Now I'm addicted

Weather
They say that next week
Will be in the low twenties
That will be so sweet

Dizzy
Spinning in circles
Makes Baby dizzy and fall
Pretty fucking cute

Haiku Thursday is back!!

2 Hour Meeting

Meetings are boring
But two hour ones make me feel

just like Dawson here

Calcium/Magnesium Vitamin Supplement

You sit on my desk
then I take you after food.

Do you even work?

Downton Abbey, Part 1
I know we just met
But I think I might love you

There, now i've said it.

Downton Abbey, Part 2

How could you do this?

Finish after just seven

episodes? But why?

We're not robots

I'm so totally offended that there is someone marching around Chin Chin with the term Wine Guy on their apron that I don't really know whether I can be bothered going there.

That, and the fact that when I go to hip asian places, I tend not to love them. I usually have a pretty decent time, but I never walk away thinking OMG, I can't wait to go back. Except for the time that KJ and I were in NYC, and, walking home after we saw Bridesmaids, happened upon the famous Momofuku and so went in and ate the shit out of a bunch of stuff including pork buns so good they would make you cry if you hadn't just seen Bridesmaids, and if crying about how delicious food is wasn't such a stupid thing to do. Believe the hype, everybody. That place makes me want to go back about once a day.


But seriously, how annoying it is when you can't be seated until your whole party gets there!? Who arrives at a place at the same time as their whole party? Robots? The Swiss?

It just doesn't happen if you have regular people for friends.

And being told you can't be seated when you arrive at a place all eager and excited is a terrible terrible feeling! Like the last scene in A Chorus Line when the casting guy calls all those people's names and they excitedly step forward beaming with pride because they think they've passed the audition, only to then be told they didn't make it and the other people who's names weren't called are actually the ones who are going to be in the chorus line. No one wants to feel like that when they are ready to drop a lot of cash on a bunch of food!

We're the ones with the mouths and the stomachs, restaurants! YOU are auditioning for US and when you make us wait until our whole party has arrived before you will seat us you FAIL the audition.

That's it Chin Chin, I'm out. I'm never going. Unless you think the corn and coriander fritters are so special I should go?

I guess I should try it once. FOMOODT.

Chin Chin

Last night I had dinner at Chin Chin with Blephanie. This place wants to be so hot right now so badly.


I had a nice night and the food was delicious. But, gee, I don't know...

Call me old fashioned but I don't believe in not being able to book. I mean I know it's a thing. I believe in its existence. I just don't like it.

Also, when I got there the girl in front of me was asking for a table for 4 even though she was just one girl. I don't know. I guess my feeling was that she was expecting 3 friends to show up any minute and could probably use that table of 4. I think that the guy should have just given her the table for 4. But she was denied. Told she had to wait at the bar till the rest of her party arrived. This is my number one hated policy. WTF? Do they think girlfriend is telling some story? Like she asks for that big table only so she can sit by herself order a soda and spring roll and laugh at the idiots who succumbed to her wishes. Ummm, I guess this may have got me off to a bad start.

And I think Blephanie didn't help. When she arrived she told the waiter that there may be a baby joining us and they were not very helpful. She was pretty put off by them and conveying this to me did not improve my feelings for the place. But I've seen steam almost come out of Blephanie's ears after waiting a little too long for a meal, so it is not best to take cues from her.


It definitely wasn't bad. Not by a long shot. Service was really fine. (But if I don't order a bottle of $7 mineral water don't fucking presume to pour that shit in my glass, please.) And the food really was yummy (though that $23 soft shell crab salad would have been just as tasty at $17 with any other fried thing because the crab could have been any fried thing.) The corn and coriander fritters were really very, VERY special and the eggplant and sweet potato penang curry was a total delight. I've had better roti for half the price though, likewise the bottle of wine.

So what am I meant to think about Chin Chin? Actually, I know I am meant to think it's cool, because it doesn't take bookings and doesn't give people tables when they ask, and because the wine guy wears an apron that says "wine guy" (ugh, I know), and it is in a lofty space. But um, I don't think it's cool actually. Chin Chin, I think you are trying way too hard. And not in that good way. Why don't you try that hard to give customers an awesome experience?! That is how you will be cool.

Strangers in the park

I KNOW, RIGHT?! All those strangers in our photos and likely us in strangers photos! It is kind of disconcerting.

This one time I was looking at some friends' photos on Facebook. Just an album of stuff they had done recently and as I was looking at a photo of them out to dinner I saw a girl I knew, unconnected to these friends, in the background! It was actually a little bit of a mind-bender.

Now sure, these friends were having dinner at Cumulus Inc and the girl in the background worked there, so it is not so crazy. And yet, that this photo should have been taken at just the time when she was walking past... That I should look at these photos! It really was all pretty weird.

Sometimes I think about how I am in the video of some complete stranger's baby. Yes. Once at a shrine in Tokyo these Japanese people were videoing there very little baby and, even though we were in a pretty touristy area, these people brought there baby up to me and were getting me to shake the baby's hand. And taping the whole thing! Baby's first gaijin meeting. So weird.

Today, I actually took a photo of some strangers on purpose. I did it for you guys! I was at this park and these people were just making out on this bridge the WHOLE TIME! With the exception of a few minutes where they were photographing a kookaburra then picked up my baby's lost shoe.


Based on an aural glimpse, the fact that we were in Caulfield, and the fact that this woman is wearing a bright pink puffer, I think they were Russian. I'm just saying.

Strangers in the crowd

I often wonder whether my face pops up in other people's photos. You know, people I have never met but perhaps I walked in to the frame while they were taking a happy snap on the street and there I am in the background somewhere. It seems likely. There sure are a lot of strangers in my photos, so I must be in someone else's right?

Check this photo out.

It's a photo Neville took of Cadel Evans the other day. We wandered down to St Kilda Road on our lunch break to watch him ride past. It was kind of anticlimactic actually. But Neville managed to take this nice photo. When I look at it, I can't help but notice all the people I don't know in it. Including Cadel Evans! But seriously. I mean all the faces in the crowd. I have no idea who these people are, but there they are in my photo, on my computer. It's kind of funny to think that we are in other people's photo libraries, just like these people are in mine. I'm glad I was having a slow day when I uploaded this photo and felt inclined to ponder this thought. If I hadn't, then I might never have discovered the very unusual thing in this picture.

Can you spot it?

What about now?

Where is the rest of that person's finger???!!!

And who is that person with the missing finger?

I know lots of people probably lose their fingertips in household accidents (well, I guess they do), so I don't want to make a big deal out of it. But I find it really bizarre that I have this photo of an incomplete hands, and I have no idea who they belong to. I was standing right behind that person, and the whole time they were missing half a finger! And I'll never know who this person with the missing finger is!

Wow everybody, WOW!

Get your groom on!

OK mate, you can totally make this happen and I think you should.

I hear you about the challenge of overcoming laziness though. You're talking to a girl who sometimes just washes and blow-dries her fringe rather than the whole head of hair, because I just can't be bothered and the overall effect is the same (more or less). So lord knows I understand how difficult it is to overcome laziness.


But don't you reckon it's possible that if we had the necessary knowledge and skills, grooming ourselves better would probs require less energy than every day worrying about how to groom ourselves and sometimes really ballsing it up? I mean, people who look good all the time, such as well dressed old ladies, don't look good because each morning they try on half their shit, do their hair a bunch of different ways to find out what looks best, then just end up wearing it in some sort of up do because it's easiest, then slap some make up on because they are running out of time, then rush to the tram stop at a pace that makes their hair go weird and and their faces go extremely red. No way jose. It's because they just do the same good looking thing over and over and over again, and I am assume they've done it so many times it's totally a piece of cake for them now and they can make it to the tram with time to spare.

So the way I see it, we need to overcome laziness in the short term, in order to be able to embrace our true natures in the long term. And in order to do that we need to learn some skillz and practice them. Either that or make a lot of money and maintain a domestic staff because it would totally be straight up easy to look good all the time if you had domestic staff. But that's not going to happen so lets focus on learning skills.

First of all, hair. Mate, I love your hair and I think it looks good all the time. But I'm hearing that you want to know how to do it in other ways so you have more awesomeness options available to you. I think you should totally make an appointment with a hairdresser and get them to teach you how to do some thing with it. I don't understand why more hairdressers don't offer this as a service in fact. Anyway, I think you should do this and I think I should come along with a camera and I can document it for the Miss Soft Crab community.
What do you say? I think you should totally do it!

Here comes the groom

Often I look at The Sartorialist and note that the main reason that the subject looks awesome is their hair or grooming or poise or certain je ne sais quoi. Its not always about the outfit. I am not breaking any ground here. The Sartorialist says as much himself.

It really makes me think that my grooming is letting me down. I know that sounds like I am blaming my grooming like it some independent thing that doesn't help me out. But really I know it's all my fault. I'm letting my grooming down.

Here are a few examples from the Sartorialist.




(Looking at these I wonder if I am subconsciously obsessed with long dresses and it is not about grooming at all.)

As far as I see it I have three main problems:

-fizzy barely manageable hair
-lack of knowledge and understanding
-lack of patience and an abundance of laziness.

Where I once hated my hair I have come to see it's good points and embrace it. But as it stands I basically have one thing I can do with it, dry it big and curly. And while I am happy to do that I wish I had some variety.

Which brings me to my second fall down. Once I asked my ex- hairdresser if he could recommend some hair product to me. But he would not. Well that's not very helpful. Imagine a hairdresser that didn't just cut your hair but also gave you some top tips on maintenance and styling. Something you could take to the world and use for the good of your grooming. But it's not just hair that is my problem. What about makeup, poise, that certain je ne sais quoi? Are these things I could learn?

Not if I can't overcome my laziness.

Once, inspired by these men I tried to roll my sleeves up super neat.

But my version did not look like this at all. If I were more patient could I have done it? I feel like it is barely (not) within my power to look really neat. But I want to!

I feel like identifying some of my problems is an important step forward. People, grooming is going to change around here!

IF

While I understand that many of the world are really happy it's Friday, I have to confess that I had a mid-week jaunt down to the beach and haven't had much work on so to me it's Friday and that is not as exciting to me. But it's nice. Friday is always nice.

Here are some things that happened to me this week.

A funny thing
The other day I was driving Russeth around and he gave me some instructions.
Russ: Do a U-banger. Or as the kids call them, a U-tweet.
Me: Do they REALLY?!
Russ: No.

An awesome thing
Um, guys I just told you I went to the beach in the middle of the week and haven't had much work on. What else do you want. Sheesh.

A disappointing thing
I walked into American Apparel earlier today and silverchair's smash hit single Tomorrow was playing. "Man," I thought to myself, "awesome." Then seconds later one of those d-bags that works in AA changed the track. So disappointing. A bit later I walked into another shop and the song Quando Quando Quando was playing. "Awesome," I thought to myself, "I love this song". Only to realise seconds later that it was the totally insipid version by Michael Buble and Nelly Furtado. D-bags.

TGIF

TGIF everybody. Though, truth be told, I felt like it should have been Friday yesterday. But at least it is Friday today.

Here are some things that happened this week.

A funny thing
On the tram, on the way to the footy last Sunday I overhead this conversation between two tweens.
Tween1: "What's that really big thing? Is that the MCG?"
Tween2: "OMG, yes! And that's Rod Laver Arena where I saw Taylor Swift!!!
Tween1: "OMG! Is that where Miley Cyrus was too?"
Tween2: (sounding slightly dismissive) "I don't know. My Dad wouldn't let me see her because he thinks she is a skank."
HAHAHAHA

An awesome thing
I paid off my HECS debt at long last! When my next pay cheque comes through, I am totally going to spend the shit out of the extra money! I am going to buy things I want but don't need, like headphones and a stick blender.

Another awesome thing
I finished watching season 3 of True Blood, aka Sexual Vampires. Bill is such a dickhead! Eric Northman forever!

A disappointing thing
I had an awesome dream last night. I woke up from it in the middle of the night thinking that was awesome, I am totally going to blog about this tomorrow but then when my alarm went off this morning, I couldn't remember a thing. I assume it involved food or hunks, but I'm just guessing.

An open letter to Gorman, postscript

Hi Gorman,

I've got a few things to say too.

In 2009 I spent hundreds of dollars on a dress from you. It's the black one with the pink sequins that I wore to J's 30th birthday party, Bally's 30th birthday party, Pickle's 30th birthday party and Lil's wedding (to name just a few). It was obscenely expensive, even by your standards. It was so expensive, that purchasing it qualified me for some kind of VIP program. I got a free scarf and a key ring with a pink love heart on it (please see above). I was told that as a member of this club, I was going to get notified of special previews, and I was also going to get a discount if I spent over $500 per season (or something like that).

Being in your special club was very exciting for me Gorman. I even started using the pink love heart as my actual key ring. Though I was in no position to buy clothes from you for a while given the absurd amount I had just dropped on that dress, I really looked forward to the time I would be able to return and become the VIP you deemed me worthy to be.

That time came a few months later (lets say 4 or 5). I returned to your store and sure enough, found something I wanted to buy. I pulled out my pink love heart keyring to show the lady that I was in the special club and she said "oh, we don't do that anymore".
WTF? I asked (politely).

The shopgirl mumbled something about that just being a short term thing and it's not running any more.

But it had only been a few months! Barely a season had passed! What do you mean you don't do it any more? I screamed privately inside my own head because I didn't want to look like I was really desperate to belong to their stupid club and was panicking at the thought of no longer being part of it, even though I WAS really desperate to belong to their stupid club and I WAS totally panicking. In order to save face, Gorman, I just smiled while the shopgirl finished the transaction, then left with my purchase.

Gorman, I'm telling you all of this because I think you should know that starting a club and giving people keyrings and MAKING PROMISES TO THEM then not following through is a bunch of bullshit. You can't expect to do that without causing some lasting damage and I guess what I'm trying to tell you is that lasting damage has been done.

And one more thing.

I hope you never have to stand next to your BF and see the look on her face while she is being refused entry to a store, though it is five minutes before the designated closing time and though she intends to spend hundreds of dollars there, after you have both just seen Harry Potter. Even though I pretty much hate your gutz Gorman, I don't think anyone should have to see their friend like that.

That's if you've got any friends, loser.
Bam!

Love from K

An open letter to Gorman

Dear Gorman,

I have been buying stuff from you for a long time. Since you had interesting clothes and I had to buy them from Fat. And now, even though you are not as great and an actual sell out, I still buy your clothes. But the other week I had a really disappointing experience. It was when you had that half price sale for three days. First, I witnessed the worst retail work. I have really strong feelings about how sales assistants should behave. They should be present and helpful but definitely not pushy. Or up in my business. Like, I don’t need you to tell me that this dress would look really cute with a belt or anything. I dress myself everyday. Usually pretty well. But sometimes, I do need assistance, or a little encouragement. An absent sales assistant can make me not buy stuff. Likewise a pushy one. It’s delicate. Anyway, I can assure you there was no good retail assistance happening that day.

I was waiting for dressing room and there was a girl in one of the rooms trying on dresses, coming out, checking herself out. You know what? She looked great in that dress, but she looked really unsure and kind of without confidence, but she seriously looked great. There was a sales girl standing RIGHT NEXT TO ME not doing anything. Maybe folding something. But that poor girl in the dress was getting no attention. It was awful. So awful that I stepped in and told her she looked great. And I almost never chose to talk to strangers.

That is really by the by. Later I was all ready to buy my stuff. But there was only one register in action. Geez, Gorman. It was a big sales day. Why was there only one register? And OMG, the chick at the register was just chatting away as people queued up to make purchases. Such a drag at the best of times. But I had tickets to see Harry Potter. The talking just went on and on and Harry Potter was starting in minutes. I had waited as long as I could and I really had to go so I asked the woman at the register what time they shut. Six o’clock she told me. Great. So after Harry Potter finished, and I had basically gone on the biggest emotional roller coaster of my LIFE, I went to make my purchases. Got there at 5:52. And you know what. It was FUCKING SHUT! I had just seen the last Harry Potter movie. OK?! I was feeling pretty fucking emotional. OK?!? And you lied to me and denied me the things I was willing to give you hundreds of dollars for you know what?! I’m really annoyed. FORGET YOU!

Love
J

The person likes the census too/2

I LOVE CENSUS TOO!

But I did not do it last night. I wanted too. Lord how I wanted to. I love filling in forms about myself. I love feeling part of the wider community. I love committing myself in this moment to history. And I love how there is an Australian Statistician who gets the last say in all things census. Just one guy.

But there was no census form at this house. Can you believe it? Oh, sure you can fill it in online. But only if you have your CENSUS FORM WITH YOU! WTF ABS? You can bet that I called the ABS today demanding my ecensus number. And as soon as I receive it via SMS in the next 2 hours I am telling the ABS everything about me! HOORAY!

The person likes the census

Who loves census night?
I do!
I like when we all have to participate in an activity on the same day. Like elections and grand final day. It makes me feel nice and connected, like Ben Lee says, we're all in his together!

Say, isn't the reason that Mary and Joseph were out of town looking for a place to stay the night baby Jesus came along because they had to go back to their home towns for the census? Something like that. Gee, I'm glad census technology has improved because traveling for the census would have been a total bummer. I wonder if they hat to go stand in a big barn while someone did a headcount. Boring.

Anyway. I decided to fill out my census form by hand, rather than doing it on the interweb. More satisfying, I think. I rushed home after Tuesday night trivia (Mike Gatting have been carryover champs for nine weeks now) in order to make sure that I filled it out in time. The way the questions are worded had me chuckling away as I filled out the boxes, particularly the continual references to 'the person'. Does the person usually live at this address? they asked. Yes, census, the person sure does. It made me feel like I was interviewing myself.

Some of the questions made me wish you could provide free text.
Here are some of the things I would have said.
Question 22: Does the person ever need someone to help them, or be with them, for communications activities?
Not technically, no, but it would be nice sometimes.
Question 23: What are the reasons for the need for assistance?
Well, you know how it is. Sometimes you just want someone to talk to, right? Thank goodness for the internet!
Question 48: In the last week, did the person spend time doing unpaid domestic work for their household?
Well, no, but that's just because I've been a little bit lazy, not because there are other people doing it.

Yeah, census night is great. I can't wait until the data is released!

After Purdy

EW GROSS!


I hate balloons!


Just kidding, I love balloons.
But I hate butchers' offcuts. I guess as a meat eater I should be able to confront the whole truth of meat eating but I guess it's like they say in the hit movie A Few Good Men, I really can't handle the truth. Oh well.

I saw a lady carrying a really pretty bag on the tram this morning.

It had a chevron pattern on it. And pretty colours. I tried to draw it for you, but it looked terrible so I stopped. I googled 'nice bag with chevron pattern' to see if it came up but it absolutely did not. The internet totally has the wrong idea about what a nice bag with a chevron pattern looks like. Get real, internet!

Purdy

I seen some real purdy things in the last few days.

'









Just jokes. That last one was not purdy at all. And the smell was worse. It was something to do with art. Kunst as the Germans say.

Good riddance MasterChef

Scando hunks are a one of the best kind of hunks! Rene from NOMA was sure a darling. Thank God too, because the rest of the MasterChef finale was a total dud.

Basically I agree with everything you said. None of the contestants elicited much feeling. The series generally was boring. The challenges were ridiculous. Ok, you may not have said those things but they are all true. I mean, I watched a fair bit of MasterChef this season, but I was not happy about it. The first two years were great. But now it has lost it's shine. It got too self aware and confident and stupid. MasterChef it's over between us. FOREVER.

Let's remember Stefan Edberg to make us all feel better.

Goodbye Masterchef

I went to a Masterchef party last night. I baked this.
I love a bit of novelty baking.

When I arrived, Scampy (hostess) said "I think we all know what's going to happen here. Michael is going to cook really well, but the judges will choose Kate because she has extremely cute kids and will sell a lot of cookbooks." We knew she was right, and I wanted to feel angry that the fix was in but the truth is, I don't really care. Unlike previous years, I couldn't muster much interest in Masterchef this time around. I know I made a Masterchef cake, which indicates I do care, but it's just eating cake that I care about, not the show.

I guess I just couldn't be bothered with it this year. I didn't particularly like or dislike anyone. (though Sun does seem very annoying). My feelings for George, Matt and Gary haven't changed. That is, except for the fact that I now know Gary's name whereas I used to refer to him as the other guy. It just never really called to me, and I only ever watched it if I happened to be sitting in front of a TV at the time it was on. Unlike Offspring, which I make a point of sitting in front of a TV to see. Just kidding! (Not really. Sometimes I would.)

Now it's all over, and we all know that Kate won, and I still I don't really care.
But I'll tell you what I do care about.
That total peach of a guest chef they had on to issue the snowman challenge. He was so delightful!
For those of you who didn't see the show, his name is Rene Redzepi and he owns the restaurant Noma in Copenhagen which is apparently the world's best. He is 33. Check out this photo of him. As soon as I can take my eyes off that giant wheel of cheese, I am pretty sure I am going to like what I see.

Until then, here he is enjoying a coffee while at the fish shop with Matt Preston:

Here is he is frolicking in a field:

Here he is thinking some thoughts:

What's for dinner Rene? Just kidding, it's not dinner time yet, I just had breakfast!
Anyway, he was my favourite thing about Masterchef 2011. On last night's show, he walked around the kitchen calmly and gracefully, providing comments on the contestants' snowmen in his adorable Scandinavian accent. At one point, Kate realised she hadn't made enough carrot puree but said she didn't have time to make any more. Rene said "Of course not. That would be impossible."
Hahahaha.
Why are Scandinavian men such massive hunks?
What? You know, I found that picture on the interweb and it's caption was "Vampire Eric looking totally fly".
HAHAHAHA.
Goodbye Masterchef.

Crusts were a thing!

Mate, inspired by your experiment with the Best Women's Weekly Recipes, I started looking through some of my own old cookbooks. And what did I find in 100 Hostess Party Favourites? Right there nestled in between Spam Salad San Francisco and Pineapple Nut Rice Pilaf?



None other than Savoury Bacon Crust Pie! This pie crust is made by mixing bacon, breadcrumbs, onion, capsicum, pepper and tomato puree. You smear it on the pie dish. Top it off with the filling (rice, tomato puree, cheese and raisins. Mmmmmmm) and cook. But don't forget to add more cheese to the top in the last few minutes of cooking.



I am absolutely not going to cook this. Not even for science. Sorry.

I wonder why everyone felt the need to add the word savoury to the pie titles. As if having bacon or veal in the title could lead to some confusion as to where these pies would sit on the flavour scale. Crazy times!

Crusty Savory Veal Casserole: a hot delicious mess

Welcome back everybody! I am assuming you are all here because you want to know what it is like to cook and eat Crusty Savory Veal Casserole. If you're new here, you should probably read about why I decided to cook Crusty Savory Veal Casserole.

OK. Now we all know why we are here. Lets get down to business.

I am sure it will come as no surprise to anyone that Crusty Savory Veal Casserole consists of two main elements.
1. The crust
2. The veal casserole filling

Lets begin with the crust. This recipe does not just have a crust on top like you might expect from a shepherds pie, nor a pastry crust like you might expect from a regular pie. No. For the Crusty Savory Veal Casserole, the crust is made from sour cream, self raising flour and butter all mixed together and smeared all over the dish to look like this:
WTF, readers!
WTF?!
Sour cream, flour and butter, smeared all over the dish!
Can you believe it? Who the hell thought of this completely crazy idea?!
You don't even bake it first, you just slap the veal casserole right in there and bake it all together.
The mind boggles.
As for the casserole, it consists of veal, bacon, a can of mushrooms (!), an onion, green capsicum, carrot, celery and a can of tomatoes. No salt, or pepper, no stock, no garlic. The recipe requires us to brown the veal in butter (quite a lot, bien sur), then add everything else and simmer for a while.
Once the casserole filling is ready, it's time for the weird science to begin. The filling is placed in the dish with the sour cream, butter and flour goo then baked for about 40 minutes. With about 10 minutes to go, you take it out, and scatter a combination of crushed cornflakes and grated cheddar cheese over the top. That's right everybody: crushed cornflakes and grated cheddar.

It goes back in the oven for another 10 minutes and voila, Crusty Savory Veal Casserole:
Doesn't it look totally gross?! Look at all that oil pooling on top!
It's a hot mess, right? I scooped the oil off the top because it was really grossing me out, and then served up a plate for myself. It was time to eat this totally unappetising dish. I was far from optimistic.

Readers, I loved it.

It turns out that when baked, the crust puffs up to become like a delicious dumpling. It's really quite amazing how it does this while filled with all that sloppy filling, but it does! And despite being full of sour cream and butter, it tastes light and lovely! The casserole itself is so full of flavour and again, I was very surprised by this. It was basically this delicious rich and hearty thing and it worked so well with the crust. It was very very satisfying.
After eating it, I spent most of the evening thinking about what this could mean for the all the other Australian Women's Weekly recipes I have been laughing at for years. Maybe they are delicious too! I couldn't get the Crusty Savory Veal Casserole out of my head, and so ate it for breakfast the next day. It was still completely delicious!
I asked Midbro to serve himself a plate so I could get a second opinion. He sent me the following text message after eating it:
"Dinner was delicious dude, thanks!"
then this the following morning:
"Do you mind if I finish off the casserole, dude?"
No jokes, everyone loves Crusty Savory Veal Casserole.
Thanks, Australian Women's Weekly!

I love that you cooked Crusty Savoury Veal Casserole

MATE! I love that you cooked Crusty Savoury Veal Casserole! Horribly styled cookbooks of the 70s and 80s are some of my favourite things! I have a bunch of them. Every time I go to an op shop they are the first thing I look for!

Of course I have never cooked from them because everything looks so repulsive. Traditionally I have just enjoyed reading them. But you are an inspiration Mate. I am totally going to start cooking from them.



Mondonna gave me some old ice-cream cook books for my birthday which look awesome. Would it be cheating to begin with them?

Why I decided to cook Crusty Savory Veal Casserole

"Veal, one of the tenderest of meats, is handy for the busy housewife and business woman; preparation is simple, cooking time is short."

So begins the veal chapter in the Best Recipes from the Weekly cookbook, published in a time before they included dates in publications, but I'm guessing around 1981.

I found this cookbook at Mum and Dad's house the other day and had a whale of a time looking through it. Boy oh boy have things changed since the 1980s. For example, food styling. The cover picture is the most tasteful of them all, the rest are nasty close-ups of glistening casseroles and crumbed fried things.
Ew.
Check out these tasty seafood pancakes:

Or this hot avocado with crab and cheese:



Disgusting!
Needless to say, the recipes themselves are slightly odd. They have few herbs and spices and very little seasoning. They seem either bland or gross due to masses of cream or masses of butter. Amusing commentary aside, this book did not inspire me to cook out of FOMOODT at all.

Nevertheless, I had a very enjoyable time flipping through it thinking How gross! and These people have no clue!. That is, until the guilt started to creep in. This is something that often happens if I am exposed to objects from the near past that have clearly gone out of style (read: if I spend too much time at my parents house or an op shop). I roll my eyes at how daggy everything is and then feel really guilty for being so dismissive of these objects simply because they are not to my taste. Perhaps the recipes in this book are delicious! I started to think. Perhaps they have hidden charms that my 21st century tastebuds can't imagine?

Obviously I would have to try one to find out, and because it would be so fun thing to talk about on Miss Soft Crab (we're having fun, right guys??). Some sort of casserole was the preferred option, because nothing says delicious 1980s cuisine like the casserole. Happily, 1981 was a good year for casserole recipes and I had many to choose from. I settled on the crusty savoury veal casserole because of its terrible, terrible name. And because I like what they have to say about veal.
Here it is in the bottom left of this picture. It's the one that looks like shepherds pie in front of the glazed turkey:

Originally, I planned to tell you all about how it went in this post, but have since decided that it really needs its own. That's why this post is called Why I decided to cook Crusty Savory Veal Casserole. See you tomorrow for a full description.