It was on TV the other night and I saw a few minutes of it. The best thing I can say about it is that this post just started writing itself in my head pretty much immediately and I was reminded of this hilarious thing I read about Shia LaBeouf a while ago. This article summed up everything I "feel" about that guy if this could be called "feelings".
What a freaking ridiculous movie! So it got me thinking about the other IJ movies. I have not seen those movies in a long time. It is hard to say if it is because I was a kid when I saw them but they did not seem ridiculous in the same way as IJ4. Watching even a few minutes of this latest film kind of angered me. The earlier films, though, I liked a lot. I know they are ridiculous in a way, but a much more acceptable way. I don't know if it is because of the age I was when I saw them or because they were made in the 80s. Ridiculousness worked so much better then. A time when Weekend at Bernie's seemed like not just a reasonable premise for one movie, but also for a sequel. So no wonder the Indiana Jones movies seemed ok.
As I'm sure most normal people haven't seen IJ4, let me tell you some of the stupidest shit that happened in the 10 minutes I saw. Shia LaBeouf appeared on the screen heaps. As if that wasn't bad enough he conducted some sort of sword fight with the villain, Cate Blanchett, straddled over two cars. Yes. She is standing atop one car and his party is driving next to her in another car so he is standing with one leg on each car. And they are driving through a jungle of course. So he keeps getting hit in the nuts by foliage so you see he has to cup his hand over them while he is fighting. WHAT THE EFF?
A little bit later Indiana Jones is fighting a Nazi who he punches down. The Nazi hits the ground and is then carried off by a swarm of giant ants into their anthill. No doubt to be devoured. I am not making this shit up! I wish I was. Then maybe someone would give me shitloads of money to make an awful film.
I know that in previous movies one guy dies when another man sticks his heart through his chest and rips out his heart. In another a Nazi's face melts off. But this death by ants is something else all together.
This latest film does mimic the rhythm of the earlier films very well. That was actually a bit speci... no I'm sorry I tried to be generous. I can't.
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