First let me just say that K's goat-penguin plate from yesterday was amazing! When I started reading that post I have to say I was expecting to be underwhelmed. I mean what could a small penguin plate do that would blow my mind. But was I wrong. People are so cool. Conceptualising and then actualising that image. People are the best. And so are goat-penguins.
But not everything is so cool. Like marketers and fashion websites. Yesterday I got an email from an Australian online fashion retailer that announced "Our presummer swimwear is in!" That's a pretty liberal interpretation of "presummer".Me, I'd consider presummer the period just before summer, also known as spring. A time where you may be actually considering swimming. But I guess technically winter is presummer too, if by presummer you mean any time in the year that is before summer. Tonight the expected minimum is 2 degrees. So you can keep your presumer swimwear to yourself!
We all know that Japan is full of amazing things, like trains that are faster than a speeding bullet and surprisingly delicious convenience store food.
But nothing has blown my mind more than this.
At first glance it's a dish with a penguin on it.
Kuwaii!
I used it to serve KB's breakfast one morning. When we started to receive clear signals that no more breakfast was going to be consumed,
Appleheart said to KB "please pass me the goat plate of you've finished your breakfast".
It's no secret that Appleheart is not a morning person, but mistaking a penguin for a goat is bad even for him.
I told him so too.
He calmly turned the plate towards me and this is what I saw.
Sounds like K is really nailing her trip to Tokyo. All that ramen and biru and appeasing her small child by going to parks. That's about as good as a family holiday gets. And that's pretty good I reckon. Me? I know how to have a good time too! Last year when the Warhol and Wei Wei exhibition was on I did all my work at night for a few days so that when Newbie was at childcare I could go and enjoy it on my own. And boy was it worth it. I really enjoyed that day and the exhibition. I've been working nights this week too so I could free up today. You know why? So I could clean the shit out of the house before school holidays so that all the mess that happens in the school holidays doesn't give me a nervous breakdown. When I finish writing this I'm going to go and clean out the linen closet so that it looks like a bunch of folded linen when I open it rather than a pile of fabrics shoved in where it can not fit. Then I hope to clean the rest of the house. Hopefully Little Bean will have a really big sleep so I can accomplish a lot. Oh sure I probably won't ever get the Van Gogh exhibition no matter how many nights I spend doing my work but at least I may keep my sanity (unlike Van Gogh - badoomcha!)
It's a super late post today crab fans. And that's because I wanted to take you through a typical day of our Japan holiday. I was going to do it in real time, progressively updating the same post but wifi is surprisingly hard to find. So it's basically a retrospective of what the K family did today, our second last day in Tokyo.
Let's begin!
After waking up at about 6am, going through the rigmarole of breakfasting, showering and and packing snacks for the day, we made it out of the house at about 8am.
First stop, a park.
Or actually, not so much a park as a slide out the front of some apartment building. But KB didn't care. He owned that slide for about half an hour, by which time the coffee shop I like opened. So next, we did this:
What fine looking brews. So that was Kb taken care of. Just jokes. He's just a baby and can't have coffee, other than when he grabs our empty cups when we're not looking and has the dregs. Those are difficult days.
Anyway, all dosed up on coffee, we headed for the station.
We hopped on the train and headed for the famous fish market everyone raves about. The action at the market starts about 5:30am, but as if we were doing that. But the market was still going at 10am when we got there and we saw lots of fruits de mer.
People talk about how amazing it is that it doesn't smell at all like fish. I was all prepared to be unimpressed by that, but it's hard to be. I mean, I've been to bakeries that have a stronger fishy smell.'
We are some sashimi, utterly delicious, not pictured.
Next stop, the robot park in Roppongi Hills.
This park has superior slide choice, which is well up KB's alley. Here is is riding a robot, but with his face replaced with a drawing of a tomato.
By this time it was about 1pm and while we had plans to go to the art galleries and shops around Roppongi Hills, KB's tolerance levels indicated this would not be a good idea. This is basically the key insight from our trip. Though Japan is full of wonders, there is no no in them if KB is in no mood. And much like my approach to navigation using Google maps which involves frequently reorienting the map to my current position so I know the blue dot and I are singing the same tune, revisiting the KB mood is a prudent step on the path of mutual enjoyment.
We decided to go to shibuya to do a little shopping. I bought sunglasses and Appleheart bought a backpack (and the same sunglasses as me because I'm cool 😎).
Next stop, a park with an octopus where the tentacles are slides.
Cool.
This brought us up to 4pm, which is holdiay dinnertime.
We went to a ramen place and has the second best ramen noodles of my life.
Not pictured.
This is what was left after the frenzy of eating before KB lost it.
Basically every meal is consumed the way Cookie Monster eats cookies. .
Here's what was left...
With full bellies, clear hearts (can't lose), we marched home. Right now Appleheart is trying to wear Kb out before bed time.
After that will be snacks, biru/whiskey and then bed at about 8:45pm.
Here's an interesting fact: when I started typing 'Bruce' into my phone internet browser it first offered up 'Bruce Springsteen' (fair enough) then 'Bruce (electorate of New Zealand' which surprised me because I was looking for Bruce Willis and the fact that Safari thought I was more interested in an electorate of NZ than Bruce Willis really made me feel my age. I guess people don't really care about Bruce Willis anymore. In fact I don't either and I was only googling him because Instagram suggested some woman called Emma Hemingway Willis who had all these photos of Bruce in her feed and I initially thought she must be some lesser known daughter from some unknown wife he had before Demi until I realised that she wasn't his daughter at all. She was his wife. His daughter aged wife. Then I decided to read Bruce's Wikipedia page until I realised I knew everything I needed to know about Bruce Willis, including how old I am for bothering. Ugh.
When you're travelling, transit days are the worst. The days you're going from one place to the next with all your bags.
Today we traveled from Lake Biwa to Tokyo, via two normal trains and one Shinkansen.
My day started like this.
At 6am, gazing across the tatami at the sight of KB's pudgy little arm cuddling his Cookie Monster toy (not pictured).
The hours between then and now have involved a lot of tears, a lot of confusion and a lot of inadvertent pissing people off with our huge load of stuff and our general cluelessness. It's also really hot. At one point I stopped by a bubbler in a park to have a sip of water but instead got a powerful jet of water squirted straight into my eyeball. It would have looked totally hilarious but I couldn't appreciate it because it hurt so much .
But now we are at our beautiful airbnb in ebisu with this shit hot view across the city.
I've got a belly full of delicious ramen and as soon as KB is in bed I'm going to sit on that balcony and have a convenience store beer.
I may have lost the Cookie Monster toy at some point on the journey but heck, we made it.
Although it sounds like K is holidaying in Japan's answer to King Street it has one advantage over King Street. The availability of beer from convenience stores. Oh and an onsen in the hotel. Though onsen in summer does not seem that appealing to me but what do I know? I'll tell you what I know, you can get beer from convenience stores. And the best kind of beer snacks. Even the midges can't ruin that, surely.
Just outside Kyoto is Japan's largest freshwater lake, Lake Biwa. We read about it, and about the many onsen it is home to, and decided we would venture up for a few days. The internet made it seem like a weekend playground for people from Kyoto but as we all know, you can't believe everything you read on the internet.
I get the impression that it is to Kyoto what Frankston is to Melbourne. Sure, there's a beach there and it's a stones throw from Melbourne but that does not mean it's an appealing place. Not at all. We arrived on a dreary grey day and it's rained non stop since we got here. That's not helping. But the multitude of tittie bars and general seediness can not be blamed on the weather.
The hotel staff seem a little sheepish and kind of apologetic, like they know it's a bit shit here. As I took the key and headed for the lift one of them called after me and said "enjoy relaxing", a little desperately.
Then this was waiting for us on our doorstep, when we got to the room.
I haven't let it deter me. There's a spa bath on our balcony and an outdoor onsen in the hotel which is the main reason I'm here. The Midges can go fudge themselves!
Today L-Bomb cane over for lunch and I made Gwyneth Paltrow's Easy Tomato soup. It is easy and it's very yummy in that simple tomato soup way. It was a real win for me because I had no time and little food in the house. And if I learnt anything on Instagram this morning it's that Gwynny just loves a simple recipe. Check out this smoothie recipe from this morning.
I guess lots of people come to Kyoto for the shrines, the beautiful breeze that comes from the mountains, across the river and takes the edge off the heat of the city. Or they come for the food. We have had a shit hot time with all those things, but the indoor play centre and this slide that looks like a cock are my favourite things about Kyoto.
Hi guys. I hate to be a flake but today I'm just feeling a little wack. I tried to wear an outfit I felt really happy with - failed. Thought I'd be paid so I could afford my haircut without using my credit card - haven't been. Just saw a good job worth applying for - applications closed on Wednesday.
Hating our hair is what MSC is all about. I think six monthly posts on this topic need to be written just like batteries in smoke detectors need to be replaced whenever we change our clocks for daylight savings. But we should actually follow through on the hair posts. Or the battery swapping? I forget.
Anyway, just a quick post today as I head out to Feast Paradise, which is the name of Daimaru's food court. Remember daimaru? I do. So tasteful and neat. Turns out the people of Japan never forgot and it's been here all along. We're going there for afternoonsies.
Me, I'm just at home and thinking about my hair. So what else is new. I've been thinking about it pretty incessantly for the last few decades months. Basically since I started losing my pregnancy hair. But finally I've booked a haircut. I've been putting this off because I literally do not have enough money to pay for a haircut and also because I didn't know what I wanted to do to my hair. But I've just decided not to eat for the next month so I can afford a haircut and this way I get a hot new body as well as new hair. (Just jokes. Don't starve yourself for a hot new body!! Obviously I'm going to eat but I just won't buy my coffee or something.)
I've also made some admissions to myself about my hair (and myself). Most significantly:
My hair is so dry and frizzy, if I don't do something about it stat I'm going to descend into a spiral of self loathing.
A long bob actually looks shit on me and nothing like it does in my imagination, which is like this:
They say admitting you have a problem is the first step, but I feel like I've done nothing but admit I have a hair problem for the last 10 years. I guess life really is cyclical, I learn something, act on it, forget it. I guess maybe I just need to get a proper job so that I can afford haircuts and then go and get them regularly. Lesson learnt! (See you in 6 months when I've forgotten this lesson again.)
We arrived last night after a whole day in a plane with a two year old. This morning, we hopped on a train to Kyoto and that's where I'm writing this from.
After two days in transit I'm feeling a little fragile. But there have been lots of good times already. Like the time that qantas sat us in a row of three and didn't book anyone in the third seat so KB basically got a free seat. The time when KB poked his head over the top of his train seat and said to the stranger behind him "What are you doing?". This is the first sentence he has ever uttered, apart from "more cake!" and the like.
The time when I got this magical coffee that made me feel like a million bucks.
And this sign on some miscellaneous electronic thing at our airbnb.
Tomorrow we start exploring in earnest. Right after another of those magical coffees.
I know it's not her actual birthday but I'll take any opportunity to celebrate the queen of monochrome (AKA the Queen of England AKA the Queen of the United Kingdom and other Commonwealth Realms).
Yesterday, J sent me a message to say that a friend of a friend of hers grew up next to the Hemswoths.
Here they are introducing their fourth brother on SNL. LOL.
Anyway, naturally that got me thinking about the Hemsworths and frankly, I enjoyed that. I sent the following message to J.
Only I didn't. I accidentally sent it to my Mum instead, who had just texted me to say she bought milk.
When I realised my mistake, J and I had a good chuckle.
Later, when I saw my Mum, I told her what had happened...how it was a message meant for Jen in response to some information about the Hemsworths. She laughed and said she'd wondered what that was all about.
I was going to write about how I thought things were rough for me on Tuesday, but single mum life must have been really getting K down because she couldn't post. But then she did. Still, it didn't sound easy.
It's funny about being a temporary single parent. For a few days it's kind of great. You can do everything you want the way you want to do it. You can feed your children and yourself foodstuffs that your partner may consider "not a real dinner" like soup. Or chopped up vegetables and a boiled egg. You don't have to wait for him to get home either. When I'm single parenting the kids are always in bed way earlier than when LB is at home. And then I get to choose whatever I want to watch on Netflix without having to consider anyone else. It's great. And then, theoretically, I'd get the bed to myself. Except the children always think that LB's excuse means there is no reason for them not to sleep in my bed. Sigh.
However, after two or three nights of this it really does become bullshit. Like there is no one to go to the shop to buy beer and you have to brush the kids' teeth every night. And you have to clean the kitchen after dinner. Ugh. Word up to all the single parents out there because doing all the jobs all the time is bullshit. Lucky for K Appleheart comes home today. She must be pumped. I hope he brings her a bottle of whiskey from duty free.
It's a late update today due to KB's ongoing refusal to daytime nap and my reluctance to accept this new reality.
Doesn't a double negative usually lead to a positive? Not in this case.
Poor little KB. He really needs to sleep during the day but I think the super-disrupted routine of life without Appleheart is making it hard for him. He gets so grumpy and so discombobulated without a daytime sleep. At one point during the very long afternoon he burst into tears because I sneezed. It's pretty cute really. But not if you'r KB.
Anyway, we're not here to talk about KB, we're here to talk about me, and the fact that I keep saying things that might be making people feel a bit shit.
First exhibit:
I was taking a walk around the block during my lunch break and someone selling The Big Issue offered me a copy of The Big Issue. I smiled and said 'no thank you' because I didn't have any cash. He said "You might find you like it!" to which I replied "Better luck next time!". Which basically sounded like "you didn't make your case. You failed. Better luck next time".
What I meant was 'I hope you have more luck with the next person', but sheesh, why do I have to sound like such a dipshit?
Second exhibit:
KB and I were leaving his child care centre and passed the cleaner sweeping the floor. KB said "Broom! Broom!" and the cleaner was quite delighted and impressed with KB. I said "I don't know where he learnt that from, he's certainly never seen me with a broom!". Which basically sounded like "As if I would deign to do that".
What I meant was 'I'm really shit and I never clean', but sheesh, why do I have to sound like such a dipshit?
I don't mean to make people feel bad, but I think I might.
Do you struggle between the idea that you need to know what's going on in the world but the fact of engaging with the news is so depressing you just want to look away? Sames.
Do you sometimes think about the things you need to do or want to buy when you have a little more money even though there is no cash flow increase in the foreseeable future? Ugh. I do.
You know when you plug your phone in to charge in a different room and then you go back a couple of hours later to get it all excited it'll have full charge and then you discover the charger was just sitting next to the power point not actually plugged in? Just did that. So annoying.
Looks like it's going to have to be a two coffee day today.
Appleheart is away at the moment and so I am getting a small taste of what it would be like to be a solo parent. In summary: not very fudging easy.
Looking after KB is a job that is evenly shared in our house. Appleheart drops KB off at childcare, I pick him up. Each of us works four days a week so we can have a day with KB. And my Mum does the rest. LOL. Not really, she actually does heaps of stuff for us. Thanks Mum!
I've been going around thinking that everything is evenly shared and anticipating that in his absence, i'd just have to pull a double shift of all the KB stuff. Turns out that Appleheart does a whole bunch of stuff to keep the household ticking over that I don't even notice. The house looks like a teenage boy's room since he's been gone. He must be constantly picking up after me. What a swell guy.
Apart from the mess, I can tell the KB is getting pretty fed up with me. I thought he would love it, because he's going through a bit of a Mummy phase. But the way to cure a mummy phase is to pack your time
with wall to wall Mummy. That will shut things down pretty quickly. That, and be a Mummy that makes a child leave the park before s/he is ready. I'm pretty sure the sound of KB's screams as we left got me put on a list somewhere.
KB is home on Thursday, and I'll be glad for lots of reasons. He's in London, and I didn't hear from him til late afternoon yesterday. Even though he was at Borough Market yesterday, I wasn't worried because I knew he wouldn't stay after the cheese sandwich shop closed for the day. Also, when I didn't hear from him I thought to myself if I was in London on a warm Saturday night, away from my family, what would I be doing? I'd be sleeping. And sleeping people seldom respond to texts. And so it was.
Anyway, single parents are strong as hell, as the theme music from The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt would say. Please come home Appleheart.
This one time I googled Nike because I wanted to find out about the goddess but apparently that day a video of a man in a Nike jumper having sex with a woman on a footpath had got a lot of hits because a 'news' item about the video was at the top of my list. That's just by the by, really. The reason I was thinking about Nike was I wanted to know if she was a 'just do it' kinda gal. As the goddess of victory I guess she must have been somewhat that way inclined.
Anyway last night I went for a run. Last week my neighbour suggested we go running together one night a week and last night was that night. Guys, it was awesome. For so many reasons.
1) Physically I felt great!
2) Spiritually I felt great!
3) Dinner tasted so great afterwards!
4) It was so effing cold outside but it was invigorating!
5) It was totally legit to have a shower afterwards. A hot night time shower in winter is one of life's finest simple pleasures and it was great!
Shit you guys, sorry about my confusing post on Tuesday. J is right, while the first thing was a dream, the other things are totally real.
I should have given the post the name I originally picked out, and I'm pretty sure have used before when my posts are a collection of unconnected thoughts: a box of miss soft crab assorted. But as soon as I thought of the word "assorted" I started thinking about the classic biscuit collection Assorted Creams. And then because dreams rhymes with creams, and because my brain was full of biscuit thoughts, I went for Assorted Dreams.
