Thursday, February 13, 2014

Why is Legolas so creepy? (AM)

We're all getting older. You, me, that guy. And that's cool. Better old than dead, right? I don't mind it so much. I don't like the pigment spot on my chest or the fact that my hair is getting even worse with age. But I quite like the fact that I feel more emboldened to wear lipstick and heels. LB seems to feel sad he doesn't party on any more, but in truth when he does he complains about that too. I've also begun to appreciate not being beautiful. I don't mean that in any kind of "please say I'm beautiful" way, I just mean, I'm ok-looking I guess and that's kind of great because imagine being beautiful and then losing your looks. That would be way more depressing. Why am I talking about this? Is it because one of the Misses Soft Crabs celebrated a birthday this week? No. It's because I saw a preview for The Hobbit the other day.

I realise I am a little late to this party but I guess I am just not that interested in those films so didn't pay much attention when the recent movie came out, but after telling Baby about gollums my Mum and Baby watched some Hobbit clips. And I joined in.

I thoroughly enjoyed the Lord of the Rings movies, they were epic and exciting and all that good stuff you want in an adventure film. Plus they had a selection of hunks. Naturally, I only (mainly) had eyes for Aragorn. Because, well...

 But that didn't mean I couldn't appreciate Legolas. An ethereal pretty boy leaping around, whipping out his bow and arrow and picking up distant murmurings with his heightened elf senses. I mean, I am human, I am not totally immune to the elvish charm.

But I didn't think about Legolas much and on the whole I've never been a huge Orlando Bloom fan. He's fine and all but not very interesting so I certainly never thought about him much, but when I saw him in the ad for The Hobbit I was a bit horrified.

 I couldn't really find a picture that captured how terrible he looks in it. Kind of puffy and definitely weird. Maybe it is a trick of the make up or CGI. But why would you use those powers for evil, like puffing up Legolas and making him look like some creepy puffy elf that has been on a bender for the last three years? Use CGI and make up for good not evil! So maybe it isn't age that has aged him. Maybe rather than being thankful that I was never a pretty young thing I should just be grateful I am in charge of my own make up and live a CGI-free lifestyle.

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