Ok, now I'm going to try! But first I'd like to say that for me, nice bread becomes a best thing with butter alone. Jam is my friend on a scone, but on bread I feel like it gets in the way of the simple pleasure of bread and butter. And perhaps a little salt.
But I guess that's the thing about best things, isn't it? They don't got to be the same because as we all know from history, the world don't move to the beat of just one drum. This morning on my way to work I passed a man smoking a cigarette and drinking a chocolate Big M. At 7:30am. He looked as happy as a pig in shit. His face had the 'I'm experiencing a best thing' look all over it. Lucky son of a bitch.
Which brings me to my best thing. I've said it before and I'll say it again. I goddamned love coffee and it is now and always will be a best thing for me. I know I praise it all the time and it's not unique but shit you guys, I've been at work since seven thirty and believe you me, coffee is the best thing for me.
You know that here at Miss Soft Crab we love to talk about best things and today I just wanted to share a few things I was really delighting in the other morning. It may be because I'm still pretty tired from moving or because we have a crazy puppy sleeping over or because I am just kind of physically uncomfortable, but I guess I just want to forget these annoying things think about what makes the sweet life.
Raspberry jam on buttered toast.
Oh sure I was eating a fancy French brand (fancy insofar as it is French) buy I don't know that is why it makes me so happy to eat it on toast in the morning. I think it is just because it is sweet and tangy and goes so well with butter and seems like such simple yet indulgent thing to eat. Yeah, raspberry jam, way to make breakfast special.
White Birkenstocks.
Remember that time I told you how much I loved white things in summer and that I was probably going to buy some white Birkenstocks? Well, I bought them. And I love them so hard I pretty much have worn them everyday since I bought them in December. I love how they are white and I love how they slip on and they are kind of ugly which means they go with nothing on the one hand and yet by the same token they go with everything. I love having a shoe I can wear pretty much every day and make me happy every time I put them on. That's a shoe. And that's love.
House plants.
Before we moved house we were living in a pretty small space and every surface was covered with some necessity or some shit masquerading as a necessity. But now, that we've only moved half our stuff I have surfaces for plants. And it is so sweet! Finally I'm living my house-plant filled fantasy, and I gotta tell ya, so far so good.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, see. Just thinking about these sweet things has totally distracted me from the crazy dog and physical discomfort. Now you try!
Even the good moves, the ones where you can leave a bunch of stuff behind at your parents house, are exhausting. They are preceded by all that packing and cleaning and I don't know about you guys, but packing and cleaning are two things that really make me want to go zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
The weird thing about sleeping in a new house is that all your stuff is there, but it doesn't feel like yours. That's what I reckon. But I'm not Doctor Move, so don't take that as the definitive answer.
Regardless, I can't wait to visit the new house! In addition to coming over when I am invited, I am also going to do the old drop in with afternoon sometimes. I love doing the old drop-in.
Before I go, I just want to show you all the new household accessory I got for my birthday.
Isn't it great? It's both a very pretty thing AND it helps me feel like an adult because it's a place to keep my keys. Thanks G-Force.
Whoa you guys. When was the last time you moved house? For me it was yesterday. I know can you believe it, after all this talk and time. But shit you guys, it is really tiring. And I did it in the most easiest way ever. That is I took a bunch of stuff from one house to another, left a bunch of stuff behind to get later and had a nice clean organised new house by the end of the day. This is the blessing of moving out of your folks' place I guess. No keys to hand back to real estate agents with nothing but steam cleaned carpets left behind. And yet it's still totally freaking exhausting.
And weird. I've already spent lots of time in my new place but moving in, staying the night, it's weird. Why is it so weird? Staying over night in a hotel isn't weird but staying over night in your new house is totally weird. Is it just because you're really tired by the time night falls? Or is it because you have a whole unprecedented chunk of life ahead of you? Dunno.
What I do know though is that whbklpggxzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
It's funny, because as K says, you would totally think that Mitch Kramer was my type, "...a baby-faced Adidas loving awkward teen" that has me written all over it. And sure, who didn't love Mitch Kramer, making his way in this new high school world? But you know what with McConnaughey and Adam Goldberg being totally awesome and hilarious in that movie, as if I was paying much attention to Mitchey. Plus Wiley Wiggins always seemed like a poor man's Joseph Gordon Levitt to me. And when I say always, I mean, briefly, because it is not as if I think about him, except when I watch Dazed and Confused. And, as previously mentioned, I’m not even thinking about
him that much when I watch it because I’m too busy waiting for McConnaughey to
get on my screen.
My feelings about McConnaugey are complicated. I love him in D&C,
but all that getting around shirtless and making of just unwatchable movies made
him pretty off-putting. But he does seem to be redeeming himself with some
actual decent films now. And did I mention Dazed
and Confused? Yeah, McConnaughey, I guess you’re ok by me.
So, sure Wiley Wiggins is not the guy he used to be, but at least he can be happy he didn't end up like Jason "Randal 'Pink' Floyd" London.
I've been thinking a bit about Matthew McConaughey lately. You know, because the recent McConaissance has had him up in everyone's grill. He's been a bit of a joke for a pretty long while. All those romantic comedies. The constant toplessness. Didn't he get arrested once for being high and playing the bongos on a beach while topless? I seem to recall that he did, but also, I generally think of him as a kind of cashed-up American hippy so I might just be making up the bongos thing because it sounds like a cashed-up American hippy's Friday night.
I don't make a habit of thinking about him, but when I do, there's the slightest bit of affection there because of the film Dazed and Confused.
I love that film. I love him in it. I love everyone in in, but I think I particularly love him in it.
I love it when he says "High school girls. I keep getting older but they stay the same age. Yes they do."
I kind of love it that to this day, he looks pretty much exactly like he did in that film. You know, apart from the recent weight loss.
I don't love that the baby looks like it could be high, but I do love how cute it is.
But enough about McConaughey, this post is not about McConaughey. No it's not. It's about Wiley Wiggins.
One of the things that the McConaissance has led to is renewed focus on his earlier films, including Dazed and Confused, and that's OK by me. It's great to think and read about that film again.
But what's not so great is to see how the years have been a little cruel to Wiley Wiggins, the chap who played Mitch Kramer.
In D&C he was a baby-faced addidas loving awkward teen, which is to say, totally J's type.
And while McConaughey look exactly like he did in his D&C days, this is what Wiley looks like now:
No shit, they're the same guy. Can you believe it? I can hardly believe it. And I don't know what to say about it. I mean, we all look different now, apart from McConaughey. I can't judge the man for looking older because he is older, and so am I and so are you and so is that guy. But this kind of breaks my heart a little. D&C was all about how being a teenager is hard and high school is hard and Ben Affleck is a horrible bully with fluffy hair and bad teeth and all the rest of it. But at the end of the film, there's some hope for Mitchey Kramer. And now this. It's hard to take, you know?
Still, he's probably happy enough, combining acting with working in software.
Oh geez.
Good grief, Legolas looks terrible. It looks like he's spent the time in between LOTR and The Hobbit on some kind of elf rumspringa. And to be honest, I can see why you'd need to. Living in an elf kingdom where everyone is poised, beautiful and lives forever and the lighting is always really great would have its downside. No one ever tripping and falling in a comical way. What do they laugh at? I bet they never laugh. No one tucking in to a burger and spilling shit all over themselves. I bet they don't even have burgers. Not that you can tell that by looking at 2014 Legolas. But seriously, I prefer this life to the elf life because:
- getting older is definitely better than getting dead, just like J said
- I like burgers.
Ha, look what happens when you search "orlando bloom burger"
We're all getting older. You, me, that guy. And that's cool. Better old than dead, right? I don't mind it so much. I don't like the pigment spot on my chest or the fact that my hair is getting even worse with age. But I quite like the fact that I feel more emboldened to wear lipstick and heels. LB seems to feel sad he doesn't party on any more, but in truth when he does he complains about that too. I've also begun to appreciate not being beautiful. I don't mean that in any kind of "please say I'm beautiful" way, I just mean, I'm ok-looking I guess and that's kind of great because imagine being beautiful and then losing your looks. That would be way more depressing. Why am I talking about this? Is it because one of the Misses Soft Crabs celebrated a birthday this week? No. It's because I saw a preview for The Hobbit the other day.
I realise I am a little late to this party but I guess I am just not that interested in those films so didn't pay much attention when the recent movie came out, but after telling Baby about gollums my Mum and Baby watched some Hobbit clips. And I joined in.
I thoroughly enjoyed the Lord of the Rings movies, they were epic and exciting and all that good stuff you want in an adventure film. Plus they had a selection of hunks. Naturally, I only (mainly) had eyes for Aragorn. Because, well...
But that didn't mean I couldn't appreciate Legolas. An ethereal pretty boy leaping around, whipping out his bow and arrow and picking up distant murmurings with his heightened elf senses. I mean, I am human, I am not totally immune to the elvish charm.
But I didn't think about Legolas much and on the whole I've never been a huge Orlando Bloom fan. He's fine and all but not very interesting so I certainly never thought about him much, but when I saw him in the ad for The Hobbit I was a bit horrified.
I couldn't really find a picture that captured how terrible he looks in it. Kind of puffy and definitely weird. Maybe it is a trick of the make up or CGI. But why would you use those powers for evil, like puffing up Legolas and making him look like some creepy puffy elf that has been on a bender for the last three years? Use CGI and make up for good not evil! So maybe it isn't age that has aged him. Maybe rather than being thankful that I was never a pretty young thing I should just be grateful I am in charge of my own make up and live a CGI-free lifestyle.
I didn't make it past that first 30 seconds, because like J, that's how long it took to hate it.
It was the lighting that did it. So bright. Like the TV equivalent of 7eleven at one in the morning. If I wanted to see that kind of lighting I would go to 7eleven at one in the morning, or watch an old episode of E Street on YouTube.
I liked how during the day yesterday, fellow INXS lovers were expressing their excitement about the show on social media. Someone posted a picture of their vinyl copy of The Swing, complete with original price sticker from Billy Guyatts.
I saw a lot of ads for the INXS mini series that started last night and I felt pretty torn. I loved INXS when I was little. They were the band that made me realise how awesome and hot rock music could be. I loved them. I LOVED THEM! And when I hear them these days all those feelings come rushing back. INXS are really special to me. And that is why I felt both supremely drawn to and repelled by the mini series.
Also because I found the guy playing Michael Hutchence pretty repulsive. Of course Michael Hutchence himself had a slightly repulsive quality. But in that good way. He kind of had a creepy sexy thing going on. As a long-time fan of the pretty face even as a 10-year-old I was more drawn to Jon Farriss, but the draw of the Hutchence was strong. Creepy sexy, the force was strong with that one.
Anyway, for the sake of curiosity, and to report back to you guys, I watched INXS: Never Tear Us Apart. Needless to say within 30 seconds I hated it and my feelings didn't soften. Is it because INXS were probably a bunch of douches? Is it because this show was just shit and the acting pretty awful? Who can say. My understanding is that some of the Farriss brothers were involved with this program.You know, just like how they were involved with RockStar: INXS. I guess that INXS had planned to have a Rolling Stones kind of career, I think Michael's death really fucked them. And fucked it for all of us too. I mean, why can't we just remember how good they were, why do we have to be subjected to the likes of JD Fortune or that tripe on TV last night. I watched a bunch of INXS videos on YouTube last night and you know what was about 75,000,000 times better than that stupid effing TV show? Everything INXS did in real life.
I do wonder how much say Andrew Farriss had in the making of the show. He was the most miserable bastard! "Let's not get a manager." "Let's not go on tour in America." "Let's not make the awesome album Listen Like Thieves." Shit, Andrew Farriss, I hope you are not really as miserable as you were in the mini series.
I guess part of the problem is that faking creepy sexy just means you are creepy. Faking musical genius just means you look pretentious. You have to be pretty special to fake that stuff and not surprisingly some shit made for Channel 7 was not special. Not at all.
The only good thing about that stupid show last night was the music. That was really good.
When I looked at Miss Soft Crab on my phone this morning and saw the picture in K's post as a tiny thumbnail before clicking through I thought the picture was of a sign that said 'GUINESS AS USUAL' and I thought 'Hahahahaha'. Then when I clicked on the post and saw the actual picture and that it said 'BUSINESS AS USUAL' I thought, 'Well of course it did. What the eff was I thinking, "Guinnes as usual"!?' And then I Googled it.
Turns out Guiness as usual is totally a thing!
Then I thought about how K ironed something this morning and how adult that is. I usually put everything that needs to be ironed to one side don't wear those clothes for 6 months and then one day iron everything, but right now I don't have anything in my ironing pile which leads me to wonder where the eff all those clothes that need ironing are. Maybe I've just gotten good at hangings things out to dry.*
Then I thought about how there was a tiny bit of delicious coconut tapioca pudding with mango puree I made for dessert last night sitting in the fridge. Then I ate it. But this is about thoughts, not actions, so let's just forget that bit.
Well, this could go on all day, but let's just put an end to it right now by acknowledging that my thoughts this Thursday are pretty vapid and we'd all be better off just moving on.
*The first time I tried to write 'dry' I wrote 'die' I guess Phillip Seymour Hoffman is on my mind too.
Unfortunately for all of you, the time I allocated for writing this morning's post was instead spent ironing the thing I wanted to wear today. All I have for you instead are a few undeveloped thoughts. I'm sorry.
But here they are!
First thought
How annoying is ironing. It's the pits.
Second thought
I'm going to be 420 months old in a few days. What's surprising to me is not that I'm going to be 420 months old, but that it's just 420. Doesn't it seem like that number should be bigger? It does to me.
And when do we stop counting age in months. 20 months? Do people refer to their children's age in months above 20? I'm going to ask my mum to tell people she has a 420 month old all through February.
Third thought
I feel sad that Philip Seymour Hoffman died. And I feel puzzled that I feel sad Philip Seymour Hoffman died.
Fourth thought
How am I going to choose a football team to barrack for in Wales? I've got a chance to choose a great team who could win something. But I can't just go for the team that's on top. They could be d-bags! My team need to be honourable men. Or at least not d-bags. It's an important decision and I don't want to eff it up!
I’ve gotta be honest with you, I was out of town from Friday
night until this morning so I only know about this heatwave theoretically. At
least it wasn’t 4 days above 40, right? Am I right. Still, almost 30 degrees before sun up, that is some crazy kind of bullshit right there. And,
theoretically I feel your pain, Mate, and Melbourne more broadly. Plus I’ve
seen the forecast for the next week and I’m not happy about it. I mean, I can’t
keep skipping town every time I don’t like the weather.
I’m a big fan of happy mediums. Not all the time, I kind of like
extremes too. But in weather I totally dig on the happy medium.
But mate, think about this: in two short months you will be the hell out of here, sure so will the superheat no doubt (please Nature). But we’ll
all be hurtling headlong into winter and you will be heading to sweet summer.
Oh sure, according to one website, “Summer is a great time to visit Cardiff
as it is at its sunniest and hottest. June to August sees an average temperature of
15ºC.”! Oh, that sounds just about the same as a Melbourne winter, but you cannot
deny it also sounds like a happy medium.
WAIT! That is the average temperature, but the average maximum temperature is more like 20ºC.
And that really does sound like a happy medium. Oh, sure, it sounds like a
bullshit summer, but a pretty good way to spend a winter, ay. Just look forward
everyone and we’ll all get a good night’s sleep soon.
I don't like to whinge about the weather too much because it's very very boring for everyone. But gee you guys, it is warm out there, and it's kind of preoccupying. When I got up this morning, it was still dark, but already 28 degrees.
Stars in the sky and a sweat on my brow. And check out the rest of the week. So consistent. I guess consistency is the hot new look in Melbourne this summer.
You know what else is consistent? The weather in Cardiff.
Consistently a bit shit. But to be fair, it is winter. And at least you can get a decent night's sleep in that weather, unlike here at the moment. In fact, a range of 4 degrees and 8 degrees is perfect weather for sleeping. I'm going to do heaps of that in Wales. But right now,
what i'm interested in is a happy medium between Cardiff in winter and Melbourne in summer. So basically, Autumn. I think I want autumn now.
