Thursday, April 4, 2013

Ways I am no good at being an adult (AM)

In many ways I am a responsible adult. I hold down a job. I have a mortgage. When J and LB used to go away, sometimes I would look after Doggy and I always returned him to them with a shiny coat and a waggy tail. I always make the bed before I leave the house. Every single time.

But there are some pretty fundamental ways in which I am quite bad at being an adult.
And let's get straight to it...I'm talking about cleanliness here. I am really not a clean person. Even though I think having a clean environment to live in and clean clothes to wear is very very important, I don't want to spend any time seeing to those things.  I had four days off over Easter, and I spent no minutes and no hours of any of those days cleaning. And boy oh boy did I have some cleaning to do. But I did all the other things instead.

It's not right. Not for an adult. And I'm starting to realise that maybe I'm someone who should get a cleaner. But that's a big step.  It's basically an admission of failure at being an adult. But so is this I guess. And, on the bright side, getting a cleaner is an admission of success at being a lazy son of a bitch. And it's nice to be honest with oneself.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves. There are lots of other ways I'm pretty shit at being an adult too, ways that I can admit to without having to then do something that's pretty...weird. Here are some just from this morning!

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My toothpaste tubes always get toothpaste residue around the edge. It means you can't close the lid properly and the toothpaste dries out a little. It's gross. I seem to be the only person this happens to and I don't know why.
 There are lots of these little moths in my house. You know, the ones that live in open packets of stuff in your pantry. I found this one dead on my kitchen bench this morning. But he has so many friends that are not dead. An adult would find their life source and cut it off. I just ignore them.
I left this can of tomato paste out overnight after I made meatballs for dinner. I'll probably use it again anyway. And I'll probably get botulism, even though I don't know if that's something you can get. But it's fun to say.


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