Bear with us (PM)

Yeah, over here at MSC HQ things are pretty rough. Though you need to understand, dear readers, that context makes the feelings that K and I are feeling slightly different. But it's fair to say things are rough all over. I totally understand why K wants to lie around moaning like an Italian Billy Crystal, but me, I'm in a position where I feel like I can stoically walk around just feeling like that knife block that looks like a guy full of knifes.

Or like this. Another way to describe it is like Ewan's face right here.

But bear with us guys, time makes major metaphorical stab wounds heal.

Bear with us (AM)

Look readers, I can't lie to you. It's been a rough couple of days for the Misses Soft Crab. This is largely due to a close shave with something that pretty much goes to the core of what this blog is about but I'm pretty sure neither of us a ready to talk about yet .  One day, readers, one day. When we learn how to feel again.

In the meantime, I'm afraid I'm struggling to find inspiration. Frankly, I'm struggling with respiration. I just want to lie around and make the moaning sound that Harry makes in that scene in When Harry Met Sally when he makes the moaning sound.

Remember? Here, let me show you. This version is dubbed in Italian but it doesn't matter because the moaning sound is the same in Italian. And it's the only version I could find on the internet.
But it's pretty funny, so you should watch it.

We have to talk (PM)

My lady hermano J is right. Quality, not quantity is the future of Miss Soft Crab. Like a bottle of tabasco, there's only a little bit in it but every drop is precious and packs a hard fiery punch. Miss Soft Crab is going to be like that tiny tiny bottle, but we need your help to determine when to deliver our fiery payload.
If you've ever thought about commenting on Miss Soft Crab, now is the time readers!
If you've ever tried to comment but for some reason you've had difficulty, try again readers!
If you're still having trouble, email us at misssoftcrab@gmail.com

We have to talk (AM)

So... um...I don't want to alienate you or anything but it is unlikely that you know the pressure of writing a daily blog. A blog that every day gets hundred of page views and at least three people actually arriving here on purpose. You guys, you know the expression with great power comes great responsibility...? Yeah, you know what I'm saying. And while the Misses Soft Crab may not have actual power or responsibility we do have aspirations to greatness. Or at least goodness. Well, we want a shit hot blog. And so, it's time we told you something. After this week Miss Soft Crab will be appearing new and fresh on your internet twice a week. Quality not quantity.

"What?!" I hear you ask, "But you have already been supplying such high quality in great quantity." I know guys, I know. But we are just two ladies. Two hombres. But chicks. And we don't want to live fast and die young, you know.

So in discussing how this would work K and I talked about which days would be the best two for Miss Soft Crab to run. First we thought maybe Wednesday and Friday, because everybody needs some fresh online content on Friday right. But then we thought but what about when you get to work on Monday and you just need a little something something to start off your morning before you really get your work started.  So how about Monday and Friday? Is that too far apart? We don't want you to forget about us. "Never!" I hear you cry. Oh, sure, you say that now, but time passes, memories fade. Things change, people change.

What days would y'all like? C'mon, hit me back just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan this is Stan. leave a comment. Let us know. Please.

Just taking it easy (PM)

Yeah, like a chump I am working. Lord knows why I did not take today off. I guess it is just because I am some kind of chump. Moreover, I spilled coffee on my nice dress this morning. And although I managed to clean most of the coffee out now I am just sitting here cold because the kind of dryers we have in the bathroom make for a pretty awkward drying experience, so my dress is still kind of wet. Like a chump I'm just sitting here taking it. Also because I am a chump I gave half my toastie to Baby this morning.

To compensate for all of this I am not working very hard today. Who is the chump now!?

Just taking it easy (AM)

Oh, hi guys. I almost didn't notice you there.
Yesterday we took it easy because it was Anzac day. Today I am taking it easy just because. That's right readers, there will be no work for me today, just a lot of lazing about and perhaps eating a lot of the chocolate tart I made yesterday to honour the sacrifice of the Anzacs.

Some of us are not so lucky. I know for a fact that J is at work because she is a dedicated and hard working woman. Kudos, Mate.

But today, I am lucky as heck. Day two of a four day weekend. Chocolate tart. Lying around. That's basically it.
So if you'll excuse me, I have to go and get on with that.
Bye.

Taking it easy in honour of ANZACS

Adults only (PM)

Oh, I clean my pantry out all the time. I find it so frustrating when things are all piled up on top of each other and you can’t see what you have so you buy lentils every time you go to the shop and then you find you have 5 bags of lentils in the pantry. Ugh. Also, my pantry is basically all exposed so I do what I can to make it not a horrible clutter in front of my eyes.

But being an adult is not easy. You know what troubles me? How do you pay for a manicure with your nails all wet? I don’t get manicures because I find they make my nails weak, and also as if I would spend money on such a stupid indulgence and also who has the time, and also how do you pay without damaging your polish job?! But I have had manicures and I think about getting them sometimes, because who doesn’t love to spen money on a stupid indulgence now and again? But after your nails are done and they are still wet you are expected to pay, but if you put your hand in your bag for your wallet... BAM.. polish mush! Even if you had the foresight to get your wallet out of your bag first you still have to open your wallet and get a card or money out. BAM...polish mush!

Anyway, nice pantry, Mate.

Adults only (AM)

I decided to clean out my pantry on Sunday. I think I might have told you guys about the little problem I have been having with those tiny moths that live in open packets of flour and muesli and stuff. I'd been ignoring their increasing numbers for months, but when I walked in on two of them doing it on my bathroom mirror the other day (I'm not kidding) I knew it was time to destroy their habitat.

Cleaning out the pantry is not fun. But it's something adults do and goddamn it, I have been one of those for years now so why can't I do it to?
Mainly because i'm lazy and it's a bit gross.
I found quite a few places where little moths could live happy lives. All the obvious ones, plus a container of pistachios. Everyone loves pistachios.

This is what all the stuff in my pantry looks like when it's laid out on my kitchen table.

Gross.

This is what it looks like when you drop one of the containers of flour, and almost spit the dummy, and consider calling your mother and asking her to come over and help.

The holes in the flour are were my feet were.

But this is what it looks like when you come out on the other side.

I could look in that pantry all day.

And check it out: I decided to make a whole cupboard just for my baking stuff.

I feel like a really successful person because of this. I hope you guys can learn from my example.

Hello Bobby Dobby (PM)

On Saturday night I went to J, LB and Baby's place to play with Bobby Dobby and hear J talk in a Russian accent and I have to say it was a very enjoyable Saturday night.

And while Bobby Dobby is extremely cute, the accent was the highlight for me. J does one of the best Russian accents I've ever heard. And believe me, I've heard them all. When I worked at the library, every second punter was Russian and therefore I got maximum exposure to both the Russian accent and chumps trying to imitate it. J's version is Rolls Royce class.

Check out this email exchange we had yesterday, in which I compliment J on her Russian accent.

J: How was the rest of your weekend? Mine was fine thanks. Bobby Dobby is so cute.

Should I buy these pants? 

K: The rest of my weekend was very nice thank you...(blah blah blah..I talk about what I did on Sunday, you're not missing anything...)

I should have vacuumed but I couldn't be bothered. Maybe tonight I will vacuum. (I didn't)

 

Those pants have got J written all over them mate. Totally buy them. They look like stylish Bella Swan Maternity Pants.

 

I saw those pictures of Bobby Dobby you posted. Cute! It also made me think about you saying "Hello Bobby Dobby" in a Russian accent and that made me laugh a lot. I'm laughing as I write this.

And I'm laughing as I write this.

Hello Bobby Dobby (AM)

Two months ago on the outskirts of Melbourne a litter of Irish Setter puppies was born, and all the way up in Far North Queensland LB's mother heard them calling to her. So, of course, she arranged to buy one. I am not going to complain about it because for the last 3 days this adorable puppy has been staying with us.

I'm not going to complain about the shit and piss he keeps doing in the house either, or the crying he does in the middle of the night, because he is really cute. And he is leaving in 36 hours, at which time the shit and piss levels in the house should return to normal. And did I mention he is really cute? Because, he really is.

Although his name will change, we call him Bobby Dobby. Baby named him that after he went to one music class where there was a toy monkey named Bobby Dobby. It surprised me that Bobby Dobby made much of an impression on him, but perhaps he responded for the same reason I did, because the teacher is Russian. Now imagine a Russian woman saying "Hello, Bobby Dobby." Now do it again with a better Russian accent. Great isn't it?

Yeah, you bet I am loving looking after a dog that is this cute:

And that gives me an excuse to talk in a Russian accent all the time. As if I needed one.

The hits just keep on coming (PM)

Kick is a really great album. And I’m pretty sure bloatingis something that yoghurt and vitamin companies have made up. Like how Listerine made up halitosis. I’m pretty sure that the yoghurt companies just thought they could capitalise on that feeling people get where they feel fat. I’m pretty sure that bloating is just a euphemism for fat and like 80% of the products in the world the yoghurt companies are trying to make us think (falsely) they will cure the feeling of being fat.

Well eff you yoghurt companies. Then again I guess you just proved one more time why K and I are BFFs.* So thanks yoghurt companies, tearing women down just to build them back up again.

*I know that Frandonna is 24, so I guess K and I have been friends for almost that long. And still learning new things about each other to this day. That’s love, you guys!

The hits just keep on coming (AM)

J and I have been friends for a long time now. Years and years and years. I think 22 years or something. Is that right? It's something like that.* It's a long time. It's not enough, but it's a long time.

There were many things that bonded us together in those early days. That our houses were literally across the road from one another. That we both loved the album Kick by INXS. That the film Hairspray is great, can be watched a million times and the soundtrack has got a good beat and you can dance to it. The song Maxwell's Silver Hammer...that was another one. By the time hunks came along, the glue had well and truly set. 

But though it's been many years since I bonded with J something happened on Saturday night that made it happen all over again.

While watching the footy, we saw an ad for some probiotic choc ball you can get these days, to help restore the levels of good flora in your gut. I wondered out loud how one would know whether one's good gut flora had become depleted to the point that it required restoration via a choc ball.

"Oh you know" J said "I guess you feel bloated or something?".

I could tell from the way she said it that she wasn't convinced of this. I decided to tell her something I have never told anyone before. 

"Mate...I don't know what feeling bloated feels like."

It's true. I don't. I know what eating too much feels like. I know what feeling 'fat' feels like. But bloated seems like a different thing and I don't know if I feel it. Every time I see an ad trying to sell me some product that will relieve my bloating I just sigh and gaze out the window. 

J leapt up. 

"Mate, me neither!" 

It seems that J had been in the same boat as me for yonks, only we'd never spoken about it before. A burst of excited babbling followed, in which we exchanged confessions about what it's like to live in a world where everyone knows what it's like to be bloated but us. The sweet relief of finally being understood!

It was a special moment, and made me think if J wasn't already my BFF, I would really want her to be my BFF. 

*We can actually figure this out...Mondonna once told me there is footage of me lurking about in the background of some home video from when Frandonna was a newborn baby, so we've known one another at least as long as Frandonna has been alive. And I know for a fact that there are people who read this blog who can tell us how long that has been.

An open letter to Autumn (AM)

Hey Autumn,
J is right about your light, and the things you do to leaves. You got this town blushin' for you girl.
But baby, I can't lie to you. You put a chill in my bones. Yesterday, you sent a cold southern wind right through me and I know you got more coming. Girl, you made me so cold, I decided to stop off at the store to have a look at Lamby on my way to dinner last night.

Remember Lamby, Autumn?

I went and touched her strong arms and nuzzled my face against her soft soft collar and dammit Autumn, it felt so good. But I know she can never be mine.

I don't think I can love you like J does, or like I love a bag of chips,  but I respect you, Girl. And I'm really happy for you and J.

So long, Autumn.

An open letter to autumn (AM)

Hey Autumn,

You know how I feel about you. Everybody does. It's written all over my face and also the Internet, mainly this blog. I think that you are all that and a bag of chips. And I love chips. I love the way light looks so pretty during you and how the sun has this special warmth, like when it shines on you it's just pure sunshine. I love the way I get to wear all my favourite clothes and shoes and my brand new coat and just  feel snugly and warm and cosy and not cold. How do you do that autumn? Girl, you so hot you got summer jealous. You so cool you make winter feel she writing cheques her butt can't even cash. You the one autumn.



Love
J

Ps. Hey autumn, are you friends with The Universe, cause I tried on a really cute jumpsuit last night and I just wondered if there is some way I could get it without dropping 1000bucks. 'Kay, bysies.

Happy Birthday Miss Soft Crab Haiku Thursday! (PM)

Miss Soft Crab turns TWO!

Wisdom beyond her years

Beauty of her youth

Haha just kidding

If only Lady Crab could

Boast these great features

Happy Birthday Miss Soft Crab Haiku Thursday! (AM)

Today this becomes

A two year old chronicle 

Of this crabby life. 

Two years of thanks to

All you who bear witness to

Crab frivolity. 

Next blog revisited (PM)

The world is food crazy, that's for sure. And even though I hate the word blogosphere I guess I have to use it here to say the blogosphere is food crazy too. Ugh. Gross. Sorry you guys. Austin particularly so. But as Tony Soprano would say, what are you gonna do? Tony Soprano. Now there's a man who likes food.

But enough of that. It's MSC's weekly food day and I have a food question.

Does this chocolate cake look good to you guys?

Sometimes I miss the dense floury chocolate cakes of my childhood, as distinct from the dense fudgy chocolate cakes of my adulthood. This one looks like a proper floury chocolate cake, the kind that you might have found in your school lunch box as a playlunch snack if you were one of those kids who got cake in their lunch boxes.
That appeals to me. A lot.
But it looks pretty dry. Especially the 'crust', which I'm pretty sure cakes aren't even meant to have, are they? And the lack of butter concerns me.
But the other ingredients seem pleasing. Dark sugar. Maple syrup. Stout! Plus, I love the word Bundt. It's a no-nonsense word, but also somehow a little cute.
I think I'm going to make it tonight. 

Next blog revisited (AM)

Hahahahahahah. Oh, man, I wish you could be in my head right now. It's really funny up there. Actually it was funny earlier, now it's just weirded out. Because I started writing this post before my journey finished. And now I'm amending it now that the journey is finished. Whoa. I was just looking at Miss Soft Crab and thinking about food and I thought to myself, "I wonder what will happen if I press Next Blog. I wonder if it will be a food blog."

Now I see, having written the thought down it is not full of gravitas, but as I pressed the Next Blog icon it seemed to be. It seemed like a really important game of Russian Roulette. Not the real version but a lesser, yet somehow important version.

So, as I hit the icon I held my breath and then, this:

AHA! I thought. I'm on to something. What though? I hit the icon again and came across a blog about the Rains family's trip to Amsterdam. Then there was something I have to assume was an antiabortion website because I saw a picture of a foetus all glowing and shit. Although that could have just been a link to a Massive Attack film clip. Then, I swear to god, this:

Now I don't know how Next Blog works. Obviously Google are stalking every move I make so maybe they thought I wanted to see all those food blogs. Maybe that's why they kept coming at me. Or maybe Blogger just gets in a rut. I mean, Austin seemed to be disproportionately represented in the blogs I came across. But what do I know. Maybe Austin is the blog capital of the world. Maybe 8 out of every 10 blogs really does come out of Austin.

So what did I learn from all this? I learned that you sure as hell don't need me to write about food today.

Just a Tuesday post (PM)

Hey! That is so weird.Yesterday was the day that it really dawned on me that Tony Abbott will be the next Prime Minister. But because Miss Soft Crab is not a political blog all I will say on that point is: gross me the fuck out.

TV sucks. That is for sure. But last night in my brief TV watching period all I saw was Mad Men.Although I have watched a little Mad Men last night it really dawned on me how fucking great it is and how I should really watch it in earnest.

Don't mind if I do.

Just a Tuesday post (AM)

Last night, I was feeling a little off-colour so decided I would treat myself to a night in front of the television. I guess I don't really watch a lot of television these days, because I was expecting to have a wonderful time but I really did not.

Firstly, let me say, what happened to us in Hobart that we thought The Voice was a tolerable show? I remember us having a whale of a time watching The Voice in Hobart. After five minutes of watching it last night I wanted to cry.

Next, let me say that last night it kind of dawned on me that Tony Abbott is going to be the next Prime Minister and I do not feel good about that. Not at all. But Miss Soft Crab is not a political blog so that's all I have to say about it.

Actually, that's all I have to say about anything. Watching TV was so terrible, I feel like the MSC inspiration has been bled out of me.  So I am just going to admit defeat and leave you to get on with your days. But first I am going to show you this poster I saw on the street once and discovered a photo of when I started scrolling through pictures on my phone last night because I was so bored.

I find it so sweet that Winks "answers to the name of Winks".

Just a Monday post (PM)

I have to say, part of the way through watching that ad for the first time,  I felt happy that they used the word vagina. Finally! I thought. An ad that respects me enough to sell menstrual products by focusing on the relevant body part, not the need to feel 'confident' while playing sport. But then I realised that they only mentioned the word vagina to emphasise how dirty it is and to get me to spend my money on something that will make it more acceptable to go out in the world with one of those dirty things.

D-bags. Eff you guys. 

J'accuse, d-bags

Just a Monday post (AM)

I don't like to start the week off on a negative note usually. I mean, as if waking up on a Monday morning isn't bad enough, then you have to perform your ablutions, probably discover there is no breakfast and I guess on this particular Monday you have to catch public transport with a million other people which seems like 10 million after the quiet of school holidays. Perhaps it is these factors that meant I couldn't avoid the negos today. Sozzles.

But let me just get this out there. Have you seen an ad for some kind of women's sanitary product, I believe it is some kind of 'panty liner' with a naked woman talking about  mid-cycle discharge? (Oh, also, sozzles if you are sensitive to this talk.) So, it's an ad for an inherently offensive a product, a product that exists to make women feel that having undies on and then probably pants or at least a skirt is not enough to keep their disgusting vaginas away from the world. And it is advertised by a nude woman. And she is telling us that even though discharge is healthy and normal it can make a woman feel dirty, and that's fine. WHY THE EFF IS THAT WOMAN NUDE?!?! Why is she telling you to feel dirty?! I read somewhere that the ad received criticism. "Yeah, no shit!" I thought! But when I read on it was suggested that the ad had been criticised for using the word vagina and being too 'real'. WHAT? WHAT?! WHAT THE EFFFFF??!?!

Phew, sorry, before it becomes too late to turn the caps lock off, let's all jus relax and look at this adorable photo of some of the Queen's signets riding under the wing of their parent. 

Friday Favourites: Ugg Boots (PM)

Oh man! Ugg boots! I effing love my ugg boots so much! K actually gave me my first pair for a birthday many years ago. Eleven years ago in fact. I'm pretty sure it was because I was always going on about how jealous I was of hers. Those ugg boots are long gone, probably because they were made in China (assumption not fact). But that was me gone. A life without ugg is a life half lived.

After the death of that first pair I moved on to the real home-grown variety. At the moment I have a black pair. I bought them because once at an old job someone wore a pair of tall black uggs to work and they didn't look like uggs, they just looked like cosy black boots. I always imagined doing something like that, but I'm not crazy. Having black uggs does mean I can unashamedly go to the supermarket in them though, so that's something.

Me* in my ugg boots

Oh, how I love ugg. A Friday Favourite, an everyday favourite, UGG!

*As played by Kirsten Dunst.

Friday Favourites: Ugg Boots (AM)

Yesterday I talked about that lamb/sheep/mutton's wool jacket I tried on.  I hinted at how ridiculous it is that a jacket would cost $1000. What I didn't say is that it's possibly the softest and  warmest thing I've ever worn and I think about it all the time. You can bet I thought about it last night when I came home after dinner with Scampy and Neville to discover my house was really quite cold.

But I shouldn't complain because the lamb community has given me a great gift in the past, a gift that has been giving for two decades. These:

These are the ugg boots I've had since childhood. No joke. My Mum's friend had a business importing them from her native Germany, and so when we were little, Mum bought a pair for both of my brothers. She didn't buy any for me because the feet of a girl child do not need to be kept warm. 

Jokies!

I suspect it was because my feet were too small.

From the binding. 

Jokies!

I just think they didn't have my size.

Anyway, the joke's on those guys, because at some point I claimed them for my own and have worn them around the house all through winter since about 1993. 

And look at the condition they're in!

If you're wondering what that thing inside this ugg boot is,  it's just a teatowel I stuffed in there to make them stand upright. I will probably wash the teatowel before I use it again.  

Still so wooly! That's GDR era manufacturing for you. 

Anyway, they are the warmest and best ugg boots a person could want and i'm lucky to have them. 

They are a Friday Favourite.  

How to buy a winter coat (PM)

If my experience of finding greenie last year is anything to go by, you're doing everything right.
Soon, the coat of your dreams will come in to your life. Or probably just a really great one.

As for me, now that my coat needs have been met, I kind of want a jacket. For those days I don't want to wear a coat. I found the perfect one the other day.

Look at that collar. Soft as the embrace of a newborn lamb. Because it is made of newborn lamb! Or teenage lamb. Heck it could be mutton for all I know, in which case, why are people so down on mutton? It's very soft.
Anyway, I fell for this coat pretty hard but it cost $1000 which is not OK.
So even though it is perfect for me it will remain an impossible dream. It will never get out of my dreams and in to my car. So it goes.

I also quite like this one that I tried on at Country Road yesterday when I met J and Baby for lunch.

The buttons aren't as weird in real life.
But I don't know. Once you've worn mutton, everything else seems boring.

How to buy a winter coat (AM)

After an early summer disappointment involving the selling out of a Scanlon and Theodore dress that I had pinned all my summer hopes on, I basically gave up on summer fashions, wearing things already in my cupboard from seasons past. While this is excellent on a personal economic and global environmental level it was a little boring, though not regrettable. After the dress became unavailable I decided there was no point wasting my time with summer clothes and looked forward to my favourite fashion seasons, autumn, followed by winter. Lucky for me, The Sartorialist is a northern hemisphere blog so I spent a lot of summer checking out what people there were wearing northside. Sure, I could have been practising drawing or writing or something else productive. But instead I spent summer looking at winter fashions. I got me some good ideas but the thing I became truly fixated on was a winter coat.

Though I may think the internet is ruining some things, I definitely appreciate that I can look at the wrong season fashions on international websites. I have decided that my dream coat is navy, of the pea style, wool, just past my hips, high collared. Basically it’s this guy’s coat.

But where can I find that guy’s coat?!

Yesterday I tried on this coat at Trenery. I liked it quite a lot, but wished the buttons went higher and the coat went lower.

Then last night I got an email from Trenery telling me I had could get 25% off.  But should I buy a coat based only on its price?

I  like this coat a lot:

But its expensive and on the internet. Can I drop heaps of dollars on a coat I haven’t tried on?


There is another one I like. But it’s from Gorman and expensive and has no collar. But I like it a lot.

I told LB about my woes and he asked me if I wanted him to buy me a coat for my birthday. No! I protested. But maybe that is the answer.

How to buy a winter coat. It's a question, not an instruction.

Cinnamon Game Changers (PM)

Chocolate swirl buns I made one time

I have to say that those days when K worked at a prominent bakery franchise were some of my best. She used to close the shop on Mondays* and I would pick her up and take her home even though we no longer lived in the same street, in fact we lived in opposite directions, but she would give me a box of leftovers, you see. Bam, my regular bread, cheese bread, banana bread and donut needs were taken care of for the week. It pretty much ruled. But I never wanted or received scrolls in that bountiful box. No, who would buy a chain bakery scroll?! Not me! The scrolls of St. Cinnamon, however, were a whole different story. They were doughy and delicious and sticky and caramelly and Libbets and I sometimes would catch a train from Elsternwick to the city just to get one. We would get off at Melbourne Central go up the elevator for a scroll then turn around and go home. They were warm and gooey and I could go on about those bad boys all day! I guess what I am saying is that my game did not need changing. My heart is well and truly open to the scroll.

I've made scrolls before, usually they are great straight out of the oven but they suffer later. They tend to be too bready, not eggy and buttery enough - a good scroll needs to be somewhere in between a cake and a bread, that's what I think. Without question the chocolate swirl buns from Smitten Kitchen are the best I've ever made. But my heart belongs to cinnamon and those babies Miguel made for Northern Delights, well, they were something special. When K told me she made them on the weekend I was jealous. And when she dropped it again in yesterday's post my mind was made up! I was going to make them! I have a recipe for a thing called Swedish Cinnamon Butterhorns. Although they are shaped more like a croissant they have the same Swedish names as the other buns, kanelbullar. Plus who wouldn't want to eat a thing called a butterhorn!! But then I realised I had no eggs and I didn't want to go to the shops and well, now I don't have any scrolls. But don't worry guys, the shops are open and I have a whole day ahead of me. Those cinnamon buns will be mine!!!!!!

*Or possibly a different day. It was a long time ago.

Cinnamon Game Changers (AM)

I used to work at a prominent bakery franchise when I was younger. Back when bread was bread, which is to say it was white and square and sliced for either toast or sandwiches. This place also sold morning tea type treats like jam tarts, vanilla slice and of course a shitload of coffee scrolls. I don't know why people bought them. They were always so dry looking, and kind of big and overblown and not like the kind of delicious morsel you might really look forward to at morning tea time.

Anyway, spending time amongst so many unappealing coffee scrolls kind of turned me off the scroll completely. Occasionally I would see one in a recipe book and it would leave me feeling cold and uninspired. As more and more Scandinavian cookbooks came in to my life, so too did more and more scroll recipes. But it was always the same. I felt no interest. 

But then, Miguel brought Scandinavian style cinnamon scrolls to our Northern Delights dinner and everything changed. You should have tasted those babies. Bready in all the right places. Buttery in all the right places. Sugary and cinnamony in places I didn't even know about. Oh brother were they something else. I've thought about them ever since, and when Miguel sent the recipe, I knew it was just a matter of time before I made them mine. And last Sunday, when the weather was just right for proving dough, I made them. 

It was a piece of cake. 

First, you make a dough. 

Twas a very sticky dough. Then, you cover it with a tea towel and leave it in a warm place... 

...til it doubles in size. Then you roll it out flat  to about 80 centimetres. 

Next, you cover that baby with butter, cinnamon and sugar. 

You roll it up...

You turn that roll in to a bunch of scrolls which you let prove again. 

And you bake them until they look golden beauties oozing caramelised sugar and cinnamon. 

Such a piece of cake, right? 

But even if they weren't the taste would justify whatever labour they required. These babies are out of this world delicious. And a real game changer for me, making me think that scrolls are something I want in my life all the time. I hate it when recipes go on about how great your kitchen will smell when you cook something but seriously, these buns make your kitchen smell like heaven's oven, and it's part of what makes them so great. Just make them you guys. See if I'm wrong!