The Miss Soft Crab Brownlow Blue Carpet Wrap Up

Day 2 of Groom Week comes to you from the Brownlow Blue Carpet. As with most Brownlow medal counts, J and I texted one another throughout the show. Here are our special comments, starting with J.

I'm sure by now you have all heard of the 'fashion pod'. It was basically a giant lazy susan that the WAGS would stand on, and slowly rotate. Being able to see the WAGS from all angles made me realise that back fat is a serious problem that affects all of us: from the normal looking to the very very hungry looking.
Anyway. this is the outfit we referred to as Beauty Secrets Barbie (later reclassified as Twirly Curls Barbie):

And here is Laura Palmer:

  Now back to the special comments.
Have I told you guys that Midbro is having another baby? It's true, he totally is. Perhaps don't mention that I told you about the name Jobe/Gob being on the shortlist if you guys see him. He's quite discreet and probs wouldn't want me telling people. I couldn't find a picture of the lady wearing the curtains, so let's all have a look at Jobe shall we?

 More special comments:
Look, Jimmy's girl, obviously we don't hate you because we have never met you. But you are going out with Jimmy who we love very much, so bitch, you are fair game. Also, eat a sandwich some time lady.

Also, try to at least act like you are happy. If I was going home with that, I think I could muster a little more enthusiasm.

OK guys, I need to suspend normal broadcast activities for a moment while I tell you something. After the show last night, J uploaded all the screen dumps of our text conversation in to this post, so all I had to do was annotate and add the pictures of the WAGS. Thanks J, you are so helpful! However, I am a tad clumsy and accidentally deleted some of them. I thought about calling J and asking her to upload them again, but I didn't want to disturb her because she might be sleeping in, she has a baby you know. So the following three screen shots actually come from my phone. So grey is J and green is me. This is K, by the way. I'm sorry guys.
Lets get back to the commentary, shall we?

 I like Mrs Demetriou's outfits normally. This one, not so much.

But she is a good looking woman. There's no denying it. Meanwhile, have you guessed who we thought looked like she was wearing vomited up corn?

Honestly, Twiggley. I can't even look at you. And if you think i'm going to include a photo of Nathan Buckley here then you've got another thing coming. Dude has been on my TV screen practically every day for a million years, he's not getting on my blog too.

As for this next sequence of messages, they were  sent after a 10 minute interview with some guy who owns some suit shop where tonnes of players got their suits fitted, including Miss Soft Crab favourites Gary Ablett and Joel Selwood.

For some reason, none of the Brownlow photo galleries have any pictures of Gary and Joel that are worth a damn. Lets go back to the archives, shall we?

I'm just going to let that picture speak for itself. 

Several more messages were sent through the evening, including one that said "phwoar, have a look at this!" when Gary and Richo were having a little interview that, again, the galleries refuse to capture (WTF galleries! Get to know your audience why don't you?). But I prefer to leave you with this final image of what a Ling night ahead might actually look like.

Go Cats.