Cherry Ripe Dark Cherry: The Miss Soft Crab Review

I quite like a Cherry Ripe.

Not enough to go out and buy one, mind you, but if someone put one in my mouth, I would totally eat it. Now, the world has given us the Cherry Ripe Dark Cherry.

Do we need Cherry Ripe Dark Cherry? I wouldn't have thought so. Is there even any opportunity for innovation in the Cherry Ripe space? Again. I wouldn't have thought so, but I guess the folks at head office thought differently. But really, who am I to argue with what is undoubtedly the result of years and years of market research and laboratory testing? Mine is not to question why. The fact is, Cherry Ripe Dark Cherry does exist, and what's left for me is to discover whether it is worth a damn and communicate my views to the Miss Soft Crab community. Lets do that, shall we?

This is what Cherry Ripe Dark Cherry looks like. So far so BORING, right?

I bit in to it and immediately realised that I was totally right about it not needing to exist. But just to be sure, I took a few more bites until it looked like this:

Suspicions confirmed, people. It tastes even more fake than your typical Cherry Ripe. Instead of tasting like sugar, coconut and fake cherry flavour, the Cherry Ripe Dark Cherry tastes like sugar, coconut and the fake cherry flavour you get in some over-the-counter cough medicines. I know, because I ate the whole thing and I started to crave some flat lemonade to make the taste go away.

Now we all know. Don't bother, readers.