Pimento cheese - a new best thing (PM)

Guess which lady crab was the dumkopf who forgot to take all her chutneys home from Miguel and Legsley's place a couple of weekends ago, including the jar of wonderful, creamy-spicy tasting, eighties-looking pimento cheese? 

Yeah. This crab. What an idiot! 

But I hear Miguel and Legsley's made short work of it. When I was at their place for chicken and chips on Sunday night they invited me to take home what was left, just about enough to cover half a piece of bread. I told them they could have it. 

But I'm excited about a pimento cheesy future. Maybe I'll make some to put on crumpets while I'm away. 

I'm looking forward to crumpets. And those giant bumblebees they have in the UK. 

See you very soon crab friends! 

Pimento cheese - a new best thing (AM)

As you know I just had a baby. He was not a girl and he is not called L'Wren of course, not even here in pseudonym. As as you may also know K is about to skip town for a 6-month work stint around the UK, so we are going to take a little break, just a week or two. But before we do, I wanted to tell you about something very, very special.  Pimento cheese. Blizzie made it for chutney club and, um, I effing love it. It included all my favourite elements: cheese; deliciousness; the look and taste of the eighties, in all its chunky, salmon pink glory! Writing about it now I can barely believe I'd never had it before and once it entered my life I barely ate anything but.

Until, 3 days later when the jar was empty. 

Pimento cheese is from the Southern USA and according to Wikipedia it is known as the caviar of the South. And so it should be, it is super special, delicious and eighties. 

In the mix Blizzie made I think there was grated cheddar cheese, creme fraiche, mayonnaise, pimento, cornichons and maybe some other things. And I love all those things. Although theoretically a mixture of them does sound a little gross I cannot tell you how freaking good it is. Please friends, if you find yourself at a lose end while the lady Crabs take a little break keep yourself busy and happy by whipping up a batch of the good stuff. 

The new guy (PM)

It's close enough to the truth for me. Welcome, baby L'Wren. You're a lot cuter than your name, L'Wren.

And here are some more hot air balloons.

The new guy (AM)

This is not exactly true, but let's just say I'm super tired so excuse me while I say zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

This day (PM)

It was brisk this morning? Dudes I have been inside all day! Looks pretty sunny out there now! 

It's been pretty up and down for me today but ultimately I'd call this day a win!

This day (AM)

Hi crab friends. It's brisk this morning. Chilly and still. There were hot air balloons in the sky outside my bedroom window when I got up.

See those tiny dots on the right? Hot air balloons. 

I hope it's a good day crab friends. 

A box of Miss Soft Crab assorted (PM)

Hunks and grey sweaters are two of my favourite things! So much so that in NYC last year I bought this postcard.

And in cyberspace last week I bought this jumper. 

Those Sartorialist images touched me too and I'd already been coveting this grey jumper. Now it's mine! Oh sure, the sleeve is not that big and I won't wear it under everything. Just a coat or two. Probably not at the same time though. 

Hey, while we're on random things does anyone else thing it's total fucking ridiculous that Blogger has a phone app, as if that would be useful, but that you can't do things like add links or format or schedule your posts. Yeah, just saying.*

*Sorry this post started beig text centred. Stupid fucking Blogger app. 

A box of Miss Soft Crab assorted (AM)

Today I thought I would cover off on a few of the things Miss Soft Crab is famous for in one single, easy to use post. Because sometimes there's so much stuff to eat and see and think about that it's hard to pick a favourite. Other times one has a little bit to say about a few things, but is light on detail on all those things. I'll leave it to you to decide what kind of day it is today.


First, hunks.
The Chutney Club met yesterday and we had a lovely day as usual. There were two figgy jams, a cheesy spread, a nutty/seedy mix, some pickled plums and I just brought chocolate for everyone because I couldn't get it together to make something.  At one point, the conversation turned from food to hunks. Pickle commented on how much she liked Leonardo di Caprio. We all nodded and murmured  in agreement. We talked about him for a little bit, how he's a real bona fide movie star and his appeal is not waning as the years go by. This conversation felt like it lasted for a about 30 seconds but at some point, J got up and left the room and when she came back she said "what are we talking about? Are we still on Leonardo?". We were still on Leonardo. A bunch of grown women in their thirties talking about Leonardo like it was 1996.






The conversation only really ended when someone commented that it was very sad Jonny Depp had left Vanessa Paradis and we all nodded and murmured in agreement.





Ok, now lets talk about clothes.

I want to dress like all of these people in pictures that I found on The Sartorialist.

The above picture is from a post called 'Big grey sleeves under everything' which I think is overstating it. It seems to me like big grey sleeves under coats. On two people.

This photo was from a post about turtlenecks, which have always been dear to my heart.

Clearly there's a bit of a theme going on, which is about being warm and comfortable. The only problem is that while these people look stylish and 'fashion forward', I'm pretty sure that if I dressed like this I would look like I was 'letting myself go'.

I'm not saying I won't do it, just that I guess I have to pick my moments. And my audience.
Ok, that's all for now. Bye you guys. See you in the PM.

Printed pants (PM)

God, I don't know which way is up or down when it comes to printed pants, but Instagram's got nothing to do with it. I just can't seem to tell what's good any more.
I spent about 15 minutes in Kookai the other day, trying on a top that basically made me look like Melanie Griffiths in Working Girl. Kookai! Melanie Griffiths! I just couldn't tell.

I know I am captivated by these.

These pants are from Scanlan and Theodore and cost a million dollars, natch. 

But I'm pretty sure I only like them because I am watching a lot of Twin Peaks at the moment and these  pants are kind of Twin Peaksy. Or perhaps what I imagine David Lynch's pyjama pants would look like. I can't stop staring at them.

If J wasn't in a constant state of discomfort due to advanced pregnancy, I would suggest we go for one of our shopping trips where we try on only the wackest shit on the racks. If you haven't done it, readers, you really should. Typically, you laugh and laugh at how wack you look, then talk for days about how much you loved one or more of the things you tried on, and how you kind of want to buy it.
You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll fall in love all over again.
And there's no way you'd have ambiguous feelings about printed pants afterwards.

Printed pants (AM)

I bet you don't need me to tell you about the proliferation of printed pants. You go through years, fashion movement after fashion movement, with nothing like a printed pant, funny colours maybe, a check here or there and then, whammo, wack ass prints everywhere! And first you think, "that is some wack shit, what are people thinking?!" And then as time wears on, you wear down and start thinking, "Should I be wearing printed pants?" First you push it out of your mind knowing you are probably just tired and weak but then you start seeing things, thinking, "But maybe they are cool".

It's not that I was seeing random women in printed pants and coveting them. Let me make it clear that I think the majority of print pants look shit, it was the Obus Instagram feed that started me thinking maybe I was missing out on something.

  

The thing is that I look at these pants now and I know they are ugly, but for some reason I kept thinking about them. This print also comes in a legging which I thought may be acceptable. Until, of course, I realised none of it was acceptable. I don't even really love the print, but something about their styling on Instagram just kept me going back to look at them. 

I'm happy to report that so far my legs are still only clad in block colours of black and blue, and with the promise of normal jeans at my finger tips I think I am out of this print pant madness. I think. I know that if I ever fell I would have to confess my folly to you all. That's how I role, I'm a great confessor of my most embarrassing acts, let's hope, friends, that day never comes.

Another public holiday!?

Can you guys believe it is already another public holiday?!

Thanks stonemasons for your well-organised protest that won us the 8-hour work day and this holiday!  

Four hours sleep is not enough (PM)

Whoa! Applying for a visa sounds just like being pregnant. In terms of sleep deprivation at least. For the last 8 months I have basically woken up at 4am every morning and then, if I'm lucky I may get back to sleep at 6 or 7 only to have to wake up within an hour for work or the demands of Baby. And if I'm unlucky, well Morpheus just seems to be too busy to give a shit about that.

Still at least I don't have to live with my parents anymore. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I mean we're really lucky that living with our parents is an option! 

Look, we've all heard visa horror stories, like the one where L-Bomb was meant to move home to Australia with her English husband before Christmas but then it turns out that it takes months and months for Australia to process marriage visas, even for the English. But for every horror story there is a success story, like how Mondonna had to come back to Australia a month after she'd holidayed here to get a working visa for USA and then bammo, despite her paperwork almost not being here on time she met with the embassy and was processed and legal no probs! Woot!

Wait, is this not helping? It's probably not helping. Look, I'm pretty sleep deprived ok, gimme a break. The point is everything will be just fine. Even in all the horror stories people end up getting the visa, so really worst case scenario is that the passport is return a couple of days late, you get to fully enjoy that wedding you're going to the night before you were meant to leave and you arrive in Wales after Appleheart has set up house nicely. 

Four hours sleep is not enough (AM)

I woke up at 3:30am this morning and I didn't really get back to sleep.
I guess I'm worried about some things.
I'm leaving for Wales on 30 March, just 15 business days away. At least, I'm meant to be.
There have been some administrative issues that are impossible to describe without sounding like a see you next Tuesday, so I think I won't. The nuts and bolts of the situation are that I don't have a visa yet, I'm applying for one today and there's a good chance that it won't get processed in time. Maybe it will. But there's a good chance it won't. The internet has some pretty good information about visa processing times, it turns out, and that information tells me that I need 18 business days to get my visa processed. I've got 15.
OR possibly 16, if you include Monday which is a public holiday here, but not in Manila where they process visa applications.
Anyway, as you can see, things are pretty tight. When you add to that the fact that I'm not even sure if I'm eligible for this particular visa, you can see why I'm worried.
Still, I'm lodging the paperwork today, and by god is my application supported by some pretty comprehensive documentation. I'm doing what I can, given the circumstances.
The best case scenario is that the visa gets approved and my passport returned to my in time to fly to Wales on the 30th. Worst case scenario is that it doesn't, I kiss Appleheart goodbye as he flies off and move in with my parents while I wait for my passport to be returned, sans visa because it hasn't been approved, and then live with my parents for the next six months.
But the worse case scenario won't happen, right? Right?
Wish me luck you guys.

Discontinued (PM)

I know, I'm excited about the Oscars too! Oh, what, sorry, it's Monday afternoon and I'm at home watching the Oscars and Pharrell just walked out so excuse my distraction. I care about yoghurt but I'm just feeling weirded out about the front row Oscar nominees shaking their booties with Pharrell. And that includes Meryl Streep. And why the fuck are U2 there?! Ok, that's probably enough Oscar coverage for this year.

That King Island yoghurt is really creamy and delicious, but I never bought it. Maybe one time. Maybe never, so I can't say I'm crying about it. The old Milo bar on the other hand is a product I would love to see back on the shelves. I loved a yoghurt once. The Tamar Valley Greek yoghurt with "fruit". I don't know if it still exists but all you see on supermarket shelves all you see is a "no added sugar" version. I bought it once hoping that it would just be sugar-free Greek yoghurt and sugar free fruit goo, but it wasn't, it had fake sugar in and it was gross, really gross. Why don't people just let good yoghurt be for Christ's sake?!

Now if you'll excuse me this Oscars ceremony is the first in years to actually promise some hunks, I mean, in the last twenty minutes I've seen Leonardo twice, Christian Bale, Joseph Gordon Levitt and I'm pretty sure I just saw the lower half of Hemsworth's face, so let's just put this yoghurt facade behind me and let me get back to my hunks. 

Discontinued (AM)

                                          

Last night I stood in front of the yogurt fridge at Piedemontes for ages, searching in vain for one of my favourite dessert treats: King Island Dairy vanilla yogurt. There is more yogurt that you can poke a stick at in the supermarkets these days, too much if you ask me, but I haven't seen the King Island stuff in yonks. Piedemontes is the last place I remember seeing it, but there was no sign of it last night, no goddamned sign at all. It made me worry. 

When I got home, I turned to the internet to see if it could tell me what's what. It had answers alright, but they sure as hell weren't the answer I wanted. 

It's been discontinued. Apparently because it wasn't meeting its sales targets. Apparently my once-a-month purchase of a single tub wasn't enough to keep it going. 

I get that they're trying to run a business and all, but geez guys, what about those of us who loved it? What are we supposed to do now? I don't want to find a new yogurt. I liked that one. It practically tasted like cream. 

It got me thinking about other times that food I love has disappeared from the shelves and instantly my thoughts turned to the old Milo Bar. 

The old Milo Bar was pretty much my favourite chocolate bar. In case you don't remember, it was two pieces of densely packed milo powder covered in milk chocolate. When you bit in to it, a little puff of milo powder would be released and it was goddamned delicious. 

One day, it just disappeared and was replaced with something like an energy bar. Ugh. It makes me so mad. 

And I'm not alone. 

There's a facebook page called Bring back the old Milo Bar and it has 2206 followers. That's a lot of disappointed people. 

Look, I know that nothing gold can stay. But why can't it? Why can't these specific gold things stay? It's not too much to ask.