Last week I could not stop reading stories about K-Stew cheating on R-Patz. Because, you know, they were all over the internet. Not because I went looking for them and kept clicking through links to see that R-Patz had moved out, that he was staying at Reese Witherspoon's ranch, to see that he finally responded to K-Stew's texts. No, I did not mean to click those links at all.
While this was happening all I could think was, "Geez, I can't believe K-Stew and R-Patz really are a couple!" And also, "OMFG K-STEW! I can't believe you cheated on R-Patz!" And also, "K-Stew looks really cute in that t-shirt and I like her baby blue nail polish a lot!" It was a real roller coaster of emotion.
Let's remember that at least my very first introduction to R-Patz was when he played Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
Um, Cedric Diggory, guys. Only the handsomest character to ever grace the pages of Harry Potter. A decent wizard and the first death we actually have to experience in Harry Potter. Cedric Diggory is a turning point. And even though when that movie came out R-Patz was an actual teenager and I was an actual woman in my mid-twenties, it's fair to say I thought he was quite attractive. But then... Sparkleface ugh!
One of the few vampires in history to make vampires unattractive. And that is no easy feat.
So where does that leave us?
Cedric Diggory = hot
Sparkleface = not hot
Cheated on = sad = kinda hot (?)
Twilight Saga movies about to be over = no more Sparkleface = potential future hotness
hot + not hot + kinda hot + potential future hotness = maybe hot = I'm still confused
= oh god why can't I stop thinking about R-PATZ?!?!?!?