Friday, August 31, 2012

Hunk of the Month Club - Hunks of History edition: Paul Newman

When Paul Newman died in 2008 (I know, can you believe it was that long ago?!), the world mourned the loss of a truly great guy. Here was a man who had fought in a war, acted in a bunch of movies, stayed married for a super long time in Hollywood and devoted part of his life to making pasta more delicious, then giving away the money he earnt through doing so. His death meant that there was one less truly wonderful person in the world, and so we all mourned. 

Of course, Miss Soft Crab also mourned his death as the loss of a hunkiness that comes around once, maybe twice in a lifetime.

Look at this face, readers. 

Mate, what do you want to say about that face?

J: It's true, that kind of face I mean guy comes along so rarely it's worth celebrating retrospectively. Paul Newman was so handsome that for years, YEARS, I didn't even realise Robert Redfdord was a hunk. I was so blinded by Newman when I saw Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid I couldn't even tell there were two hunks in that film. Now that! That is one hell of a hunk. 

Hunks, all of them. 

K: Well Mate, I guess the one good thing that came from me making you watch The Way We Were so many times was an increase in your Robert Redford-as-hunk awareness.
I kind of had the reverse experience. Being raised by a mother with a permanent boner for Robert Redford, I had no idea that there were other hunks in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid until I saw it for the first time and from that day forward have basically been all Robert who?
Sure, Robert is pretty. But Paul, readers, Paul. He is something else altogether.
And Butch is such a lovely character! I don't know what that lady was thinking, going out with Sundance.

This is the face of a madwoman

J: Well, clearly that lady in Butch and Sundance is crazy. But literature and life are full of this kind of crazy (see: Bella Swan choosing Sparkleface over Jacob and Kristen Stewart choosing that old director over R.Patz).

I can see it. 

You know a special thing about P.New, from a purely superficial point of view, is that he really just had such a nice face. Even as he got old, actually old, you could still see the handsome man in there. Now that is something you don't see everyday.

K: I totally agree. His face was just so fine. That goddamned smile, Mate (and readers).
It's like Woody Allen says in the end of Manhattan, when he is listing all the things that make life worth living.
If Miss Soft Crab was writing that list, it would start and finish with Paul Newman's face.
Is that a bottle opener around his neck? Hot. 
I mean

J: Yeah, that face sure is worth living for. But, like you said earlier, Mate, The Newm was more than just a pretty face. I mean, the guy invented a sauce company just so he could donate the profits to charity. He made a whole company for charity. What a guy!

K: The Newmanator was a really top guy.
And, because he was married to the same woman for his whole adult life, his hunkiness includes a whole other dimension that no other MSC HotMC has before.
He was a hunk that didn't spread it around, and readers, I'm sorry but that is HotMC hot.

J: Yeah, fidelity really is the mark of a great hunk. Sure, P.New left his first wife for J.Woo, but whatevs, he was so young when they met.

Really it is almost impossible to believe that a hunk like that existed. Pretty; philanthropic, long-term monogamist; did I mention pretty?; life-long hunk. I'm sure the guy was not perfect, but whatevs, even being able to have a life long appearance of a-grade hunk is worth kudos.

K: Yeah, no hunk is perfect, but P.New? He was pretty darn close.
So kudos Paul Newman, MSC's very first HotMC: Hunks of History Edition hunk and hero, may you inspire other hot people to go further and become the dead set hunk you were. 

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