Monday, March 6, 2017

You're still not doing it right, brain. Or are you?!

I know the word epiphany has divine connotations but of course when we have one it's just things in our brains clicking. I had one the other night watching Graham Norton. Ryan Gosling was on and before he'd started talking I realised something that I hadn't even known had been bothering me. When he talks his mouth doesn't move enough. Especially his top lip. Before I saw him open his mouth it's like the thought came to me, "Here we go, Mister Still Lips." And then he started talking and my thought was confirmed. The epiphany was actually weird and I guess Gosling's mouth situation is one reason I can't commit to the idea of him being a 100% hunk. Definitely hot but not Hunk of the Month material.

But I digress. The experience was also pretty upsetting. Like, why am I having epiphanies about the reasons for a dude's attractiveness, or otherwise, and not about something useful like what I should be doing professionally with my life that would be both satisfying and lucrative? Or what app I could invent that would help the world and make me rich. Or how can I manage my frustration and irritability in the face of some of my children's actions when those actions are generally due to their completely age-appropriate immaturity. Seriously brain, you absolutely are not doing it right.

I'd like to point out here that despite the implications of this blog, I actually think about my professional future and parenting and app inventions a lot more than I think about Ryan Gosling. So you'd think my brain would know what it should be revealing to me. And if there is some kind of divine intervention with epiphanies then the spiritual world is definitely not doing it right. Unless it's trying to tell me I should invent some hunk-assment app, which I guess is probably all I'm qualified for and really now that you think about it is probably exactly how Miss Soft Crab should diversify. BOOM! I misjudged this epiphany thing all together. Where's the App Store's number? We pitch tomorrow!

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