Monday, December 14, 2015

Something stinks (PM)

Oh wow. Perfume ads really stink, don't they?! There's one on TV at the moment where Gisele Bundchen drives around crying and laughing or some shit. I don't know. I know that I kind of enjoy it 'cause Baz Lurhmann directed it but I also know it feels like a poor man's Gatsby.

Why are perfume ads always trying to tell a story about some rebel woman? The day I believe Julia Roberts is an inspiration is the day I cut off my hands. Which is to say that will never happen because I am very attached to my hands. They're so useful. And the day I believe I need to free myself from the diamond shackles of my life is the day I cut off my dick.

For me the pick of this morning's viewings was the Invictus ad. Hahaha. That made me laugh and laugh. The way that guy walks around and then turns the rugby players to stone and blows them up by the flick of the hands. Hahahs. What a fucking idiot. But if that wasn't enough he walks into a change room full of nearly nude beautiful women who lose there sheet fabric covering once he walks in. Hahahaa. Seriously, WTF Paco Rabanne. 

Sadly for me I misread the last paragraph as "Hemsworth is in this ad" rather than "a Hemsowth" and just spent the whole last ad thinking "THIS IS THE WRONG HEMSWORTH!"  Not even the wolf could salvage it for me. But I could tell through my disappointment that it was another stupid fucking ad. And what about the shape of that stupid Diesel male perfume bottle. Get a real bottle Diesel.

Needless to say, I don't wear perfume and thanks to these idiot advertisers I probably never will.

I will look at this picture of Christmas Thor though to help me get over the disappointment of this morning.

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