Tuesday, April 7, 2020

Worries




I spoke to my Mum today and she told me that she was just about to get out of bed. It was 11:30am, and it was the first thing she said to me.
“Hi darling, I’m just getting out of bed”. 
This is strange because it’s a strange way to start a conversation, and it’s also strange because my Mum would typically have done a whole bunch of stuff by 11:30am. But since she had the stroke, she’s been different and the tricky thing is figuring out what’s a difference to worry about and what’s just different because she is in fact, different. 
At first, after the stroke, she was very very tired and would stay in bed and sleep a lot more. This is very normal and reflects that fact that her brain has been damaged. After a few weeks her energy levels picked up and she would stay in bed, but read her book or “do things on the iPad”. I think that meant read the news and read emails and maybe look at photos of the kids. When she did get up, she may or may not get out of her PJs and that was somewhat alarming to everyone because my Mum loves to look groomed. She does not look groomed in her PJs. 
But heck, the woman was recovering from a stroke and so we all figured as she got better she would be more motivated to get her groom on. 
It’s been a month and a half now, so still not that far out from when it happened, but I think my dad and my brother are a bit concerned by her ongoing interest in staying in bed and not getting dressed. I’m not sure how worried I should be. Maybe she’s just finally wise to the fact that lying around in PJs all day is actually pretty great, and she’s finally, at 75, letting herself do it. I mean, that sounds about right, doesn’t it? 
I think my Dad and brother are put out by it because it’s a visual reminder of the fact that she’s changed, she’s not as invincible as she once was, she’s vulnerable and not the person who is effectively keeping our whole family safe and cared for. 
But we’re all adults. We can take care of ourselves now, more or less. Doesn’t she deserve to lie around? 
I think so. 

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