I've just spent the weekend in the Brecon Beacons and while there, I had a great business idea.
FYI, the Brecon Beacons is a lovely national park in South Wales with lots of nice waterfalls and lots of nice walking to be done. If you find yourself in Wales, you should totally go because it's very nice.
As we were driving there, we passed by some pretty lame tourist attractions, such as the Wales Ape and Monkey Sanctuary* and a bunch of other lame looking parks. It reminded me of the lame things we used to drive past when we were on family holidays in Victoria in the 1980s, and how no matter how lame these things seemed, my brothers and I would still beg our parents to let us go to them. This got me thinking, thinking about how lameness isn't something we really cared about when we were growing up, we just wanted to go to all the things and we would whinge and moan until our very tired parents gave way.
That's how we made it to Wobbie's World and I'm sure that's how we would have made it to Gumbaya Park if my parents hadn't gone one up on all of us and built a pool in our back yard which silenced our pleas forever, pretty much.
I started thinking that if that's what we were like as children, then surely that's what the kids of today are like too. And on top of that, the kids of the 1980s, the Wobbie's World generation, are parents themselves now. They are the ones having to endure the relentless pleas of their children, pleas to take them this place and that, pleas that they try to ignore but will have to give in to at some point. Or at least, give in to one in four, or something like that.
Then it hit me like a tonne of those crappy coloured plastic balls that they have at Ikea and stuff. What do those parents and children need to break the deadlock? I'll tell you what they need.
Pop-up Pissweak World, my business idea.
Pop-up Pissweak World will combine shitty attractions for the kids with the fun of nostalgia for the parents (both amusement park nostalgia and The Late Show nostalgia) in a very 21st century format.
It's perfect! Kids will want to go and parents will want to take them there.
All we need is a property about 45 minutes from Melbourne and some crappy stuff for them to play on. We should also make sure there is some good good coffee to drink because Wales does not care about that and it's killing me, readers, it's killing me.
Who's with me?!
*We didn't go to the Wales Ape and Monkey Sanctuary so it could have been great and if so, I'm sorry.