Better out than in (AM)

Every so often Miss Soft Crab turns her mind to something quite meaningless and fixates on it good and proper, even though she knows it's stupid to be fixating on that thing and there's a strong chance that the only reason she is doing so is because of her old friend menses.

That time is now, readers.  If you're in no mood for inanity, I suggest you come back next week because this post is a doozy. Here's the situation. 

My hair is really really boring but I don't want to get it cut because I am trying to grow it and I'm too lazy to do anything with it.  All I want is for my hair to look really great, and like I don't have to put much work in to it, because I don't want to put any work in to it.  Instead I have a lank, pre-mid length bob coloured bark-brown with a fringe that's way too long and no matter how much I pretend, I know it absolutely does need a fair amount of work to look decent. 

Something like this would be nice:

Or this. 

Instead I have this:

But I don't have Jane's fit rig to serve as a distraction.

Blergh!