Shower Power (PM)

Showers are truly great. That's a fact. I don't think there's anything else out there that can make you either warm or cool, and sleepy or alert depending on your specific requirements. Nothing that isn't pharmaceutical grade at least. 

The shower does all of it and more, in that it makes you feel clean at the same time. 

No wonder I have one every day. Pretty much. 

Shower power (AM)

At some point, in my household the phrase 'shower power' came into use. I'm not talking about in the last 3 years in an attempt to coax Baby into the shower, I'm talking about at some point in the last 11 years, closer to earlier part of that period. LB said it once, maybe twice, and it just stuck. Now it's probably a 50-50 split when a person declares they are having a shower as to whether they will state, "I'm having a shower" or "Shower power!". Yeah, who even knows what the fuck it means. Or so I thought.

Everyone is always talking up baths. Me included. I loves me a bath. In the house I'm going to move to soon we will have a bath and I think about that pretty much daily. Baths are relaxing and they fix your aches, they are great.

But let's hear it for the power of shower. Shower is not just relaxing, but it can also fix your aches, plus it is super cleansing. You can just whip in and whip out of it without committing to a tubful of water. When your are hot, you hop in, cool down, feel like a million bucks. When you are cold, you hop in, heat up, feel like a million bucks. When you are tired, you can hop in, get cleansed and sleepy, jump into bed feeling like a million bucks. When you wake up, you hop in the shower, freshen up, feel like a million bucks. I've had every single one of these showers this week and can just feel really awesome about it. If I'd had all these baths this week I'd feel like a total water-wasting, time-wasting lush. Oh sure, I fantasise about baths, but it's the shower that sticks by you.

Holiday Monday!

It's holiday Monday!

Woot!

Thanks for colonising, Britain! This day off is much appreciated!

Love
Crabs

Better out than in (PM)

Oh geez. Readers if you were put off by this morning's inanity then you really should not have come back. If you've spent more than five minutes with this blog you would know that: a) being disappointed with my hair and wanting good hair is my natural state; b) last year I got a terrible hair cut that is still growing out and I am stuck in a similar boat to K, ie. wanting to get this stupid mop styled but wanting to grow it out. Ipso facto hair sucks.

You know mate, sometimes you just have to wash your hair and things feel heaps better. Especially your hair.

Sometimes I wonder if I should try and get hair like this:

But then, that would be prolonging getting to fantasy hair like this:

Not that I will ever have hair like either of those pictures. Me, I guess I'm just gonna be like this forever.

Except without the fact I am Bob Dylan to serve as a distraction.

Better out than in (AM)

Every so often Miss Soft Crab turns her mind to something quite meaningless and fixates on it good and proper, even though she knows it's stupid to be fixating on that thing and there's a strong chance that the only reason she is doing so is because of her old friend menses.

That time is now, readers.  If you're in no mood for inanity, I suggest you come back next week because this post is a doozy. Here's the situation. 

My hair is really really boring but I don't want to get it cut because I am trying to grow it and I'm too lazy to do anything with it.  All I want is for my hair to look really great, and like I don't have to put much work in to it, because I don't want to put any work in to it.  Instead I have a lank, pre-mid length bob coloured bark-brown with a fringe that's way too long and no matter how much I pretend, I know it absolutely does need a fair amount of work to look decent. 

Something like this would be nice:

Or this. 

Instead I have this:

But I don't have Jane's fit rig to serve as a distraction.

Blergh! 

This year (PM)

Hey, yeah, hi everybody! And hi, 2014! I mean sure, we met 20 days ago but I guess I just wanted to publicly say hi and we here at Miss Soft Crab are really excited about you. We've got some big things planned.

Of course it's not going to be all beer and Christian Bale mind you.

 

I have what is essentially a Welsh brother-in-law and he has lived in Australia for more than 10 years and I still have trouble understanding what he is saying half the time. Especially on the phone. So mate, let me advise you to double check everything! Especially in your line of work. But seriously folks, Wales is going to rule!

 

Wales! That's some pretty shit right there.

Me, I’ll just be here in Australia all year. Most likely. But I’m going to do some exciting shit too, you know. First up, move house. Oh yeah it’s been a long time coming but it is actually going to happen in about 3 or maybe 4 weeks.

Scenes from my soon to be new home

And while I’m confident I’ll be able to understand everything being said by my new neighbours moving is not going to be without its challenges. Just this morning I was looking at a pile of shoes that I own and never wear and wondering what the eff to do with them. I mean, I have some great shoes but will I ever wear them again? A pair of black and white striped pointy-toed, kitten-heeled ankle boots I coveted for so long in my early twenties, finally bought and haven’t worn in a decade,  is it time to say goodbye? And all the other things I own like that? I’m not going to have the storage for them anymore. I think 2014 may be the year I have to become an adult and move the fuck on with my life and my belongings. It's time to say goodbye to things. No, I'm not talking about my collection of rare silverchair releases that I never look at. They are coming with me, but other things. You know like shoes and clothes trinkets I was given 15 years ago that sit in the bottom of a drawer. Yeah 2014! I'm going to grow the hell up during you! That is some pretty exciting stuff right there!

Like K I also have some pretty exciting things planned for March, but I am so exhausted after making that resolve to grow up that I'll have to talk about that another day. Gimme a break, it's the first day back at MSC headquarters.

This Year (AM)

Oh, hi everyone.
It has been 2014 for a whole 20 days and so the Misses Soft Crab thought we might as well get this crabby show on the road!
But before I do, I just want to say that I can't believe the year 2000 was 14 years ago. I didn't really take note of that fact until I wrote the above sentence and it blows my mind slightly. The year 2000 used to be the FUTURE and now it's 14 years ago. Wow. But let's not waste any more time like I've wasted most of the last 14 years. Just jokes! I've only wasted some of the last 14 years, and most of the years before that. Just jokes! Kind of. Anyway, let's move on.

So...do we all have exciting 2014s planned? I hope so. The Misses Soft Crab are totally going to make it a year to remember.

First of all, the Misses Soft Crab are going to be JUST FINE this Friday doing things like going to work and participating in the rat race when we should be seeing Blur with Chickpea and Strawberry. We are going to start making it a year to remember by being just fine on Friday, so please don't worry about us.

In a few weeks I will turn 35. That's something to remember (please, you guys). Just jokes! You don't have to acknowledge my birthday. I don't like to make a big deal out of it really. Kind of. It's complicated. But it's definitely happening.

Then the winter olympics will start and all that snow on our TVs will make future heatwaves easier to take. I thought a lot about snow during the heatwave.  I'm looking forward to the winter olympics for some reason. Hey, do you know what they call the winter olympics in Norway? The Olympics. Ha!

But I guess the most memorable thing for me this year will be the bit where I live in Wales for six months. Wales! One of only two countries with a drag on its flag!

But evidently only one of these flag dragons knows that holding a white orb in each claw is going to make it quite hard for them to get from A to B. Catch up, Bhutan!

The country where these people were born:

Also Michael Sheen, who we all enjoyed so much as Wesley Snipes in 30 Rock.
It's pretty exciting, isn't it? I'm going over for work and so every day I will get to sit in meetings where people speak in Welsh accents the whole time. If all goes well, I will leave at the end of March and be home just after Grand Final Day so basically miss the whole 2014 AFL home and away season. But they have the internet now, so I should be OK
I am hoping that I have a...ahem...whale of a time!

But there are other memorable things that are going to happen before then, right Mate? Right?

I will leave it to the PM for J to tell you guys about her rad 2014.