The summer list (PM)

Yeah! Who doesn't love a summer list?! I know I do! Because: a) it gives me pause to reflect about things, which I don't do much; and b) it gives me some hot tips about things I should be doing.

So what have I been doing this summer? Mmmmm...

Making: Icy poles. Or as the Americans call them, popsicles. I love to make ice-cream, but who has the time!? I also love to eat it. You know who else loves to? My kids. They're freakin' coo-coo for the stuff. They love it out of a bowl, they love it on a stick. And who am I to stop them from enjoying one of life's greatest gifts. But you know, I don't want them or me to get fat or unhealthy so I basically blend up some fruit (berries! bananas! mango!) with something creamy (yoghurt! coconut milk!) and freeze it in a popsicle tray. Da bomb!

Cooking: I don't know. Not vegetti, that's for sure. I can't say I'm in a great cooking zone but I guess on the best days whatever I'm cooking includes coconut milk. Soup! Curry! Rice! Just add coconut milk. I flipping love that stuff.

Reading: I'm pretty busy during the day and tired at night so I don't read as much as I'd like to but at the moment I'm reading and really enjoying A Spool of Blue Thread by Anne Tyler. You know one night I was lying in bed thinking "I wish I could read The Accidental Tourist for the first time. I really feel like reading that." And you know Anne Tyler wrote that. And the next day I walked into the bookshop and the first book I saw was A Spool of Blue Thread and it seemed like a total sign.

Listening to: Not much, mainly if there is silence I like to enjoy it not fill it.

Thinking: About all the boring things on my to-do list that have been there for months and don't seem to be going anywhere.

Wanting: A personal assistant to complete my to-do list.

Enjoying: Not travelling to my office job in Clayton. But more specifically today the Oscars coverage on my Instagram feed.

Needing: A cleaner to complement my imaginary personal assistant.

Feeling: Fine, thanks for asking.

The summer list (AM)

A couple of the blogs I read have posted 'summer lists' in the last few weeks. They are basically brief accounts of what the authors have been up to under different headings like doing, reading, eating, wondering, enjoying, etc. I quite like them because they are rich with content to feed whatever the underlying need for reading that blog is, such as annoyance (GOOP), inspiration for stuff I might want to cook (Smitten Kitchen), etc. Not that either of those blogs have summer lists, but still.They are interesting and annoying in equal measure, and that sort of thing is right up my alley.

I thought it was about time Miss Soft Crab did a summer list. You guys have been dying to find out what we've been obsessing over this summer, right? Right! Sit back and enjoy, readers. But note that I have left out some frequently used categories such as 'drinking', because surely no one cares (a range of alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages, of course).

Making: Ooh. That's going to be a tough one. I haven't been making anything at all, really. Apart from dinner and stuff. I was thinking I would sew some cute bibs for KB but then I realised that I couldn't be bothered. I made a nice banana cake yesterday, so that's something.

Cooking: Well, like I said, I made the banana cake yesterday. I've also been using my vegetti a lot. What's a vegetti, you ask? I'm glad you ask. Only this super great kitchen gizmo that I bought from the post shop at Northland not long after KB was born. You can turn zucchini into thin ribbons and use them like noodles. Appleheart thought I had a bit of post-natal madness but the jokes on him, because now we both get to eat "delicious pasta without the carbs".

 

Reading: Ooh. Yes. Well, that's a hard one too. Mostly I just listen to podcasts and try not to google information about babies' development.

 

Listening to:  LIKE I SAID...podcasts. Jeepers. I like the same ones as everyone. Fresh Air. This American Life. RadioLab. I also like All in the Mind from Radio National and Inside Health from the BBC because the presenters have nice voices.  I also listen to the playlist called "KB's Bedtime" which really really makes me want to sleep but makes KB want to party.When it gets to "Falling" by Julee Cruise I'm pretty much out for the count.

Thinking: About childcare and Donald Trump. They both make me shudder a little.

Wanting: Look, I have an Apple Watch and a Harry Potter wand that functions as a remote control for my TV. Ask someone else, I want for absolutely nothing. 

Enjoying: Not having to wear a puffer jacket every time I leave the house. And knowing that I have a puffer jacket to wear when I leave the house in winter. 

Needing: Well gee, like I said before, nothing really. Things are pretty great, thank you!

Feeling: Glad to be back in the 3072. And the vibrations of my Apple Watch when I get a text message, or when it thinks I should stand up for a minute to meet my activity goal of standing up for one minute each hour during the day. I love you apple watch! 

Who knows what to believe (PM)

There was a time, not that long ago, where the sheer volume of republican candidates seemed to be the most ridiculous thing about this pre-election period. That Donald Trump was one of them seemed to highlight this ridiculousness. As in, there are so many candidates, even Donald Trump is a candidate. Ha! 

Obviously we all stopped laughing shortly after that. 

It feels to me like we're in the political version of a David Lynch film. It's all dazzle dazzle technicolor abject terror. 

And yeah, at least we don't have to live in America but all those Americans do. 

For me, the only at least is the babies for Bernie phenomenon. 

Because I love babies dressed as old people. 

Who knows what to believe (AM)

Last night on the news I saw an American woman say, "I'm sick of America looking like a laughing stock to the rest of the world." I bet you are are sweetheart.

She was just some vox pop on a story about how Trump had won the Nevada caucus so convincingly and the implication, given she was standing near a bunch of people in TRUMP t-shirts, was that she was saying that is why she is voting for Trump. She wants Trump to be the candidate so finally America doesn't have to be a laughing stock anymore.

Now we're all pretty savvy, just because a piece of footage shows a person saying something doesn't mean they are saying what the television wants us to think. Just because this woman looked a little like a well manicured version of this:

And was standing around a bunch of Trump supporters doesn't mean she was actually supporting Trump and saying what most would consider possibly the most ironic statement of all time. She could have been saying the exact opposite but the point is someone is supporting Trump, right?

I remember when Obama was first running to be candidate thinking, well this guy sounds good, but would America really vote a black man as president. But the ground swell grew and it looked more and more likely and then... well I guess they weren't as fucked as I thought.

And I remember when Trump started running and then became an actual contender and I was thinking, well this guy sounds like a fucking idiot, surely even the Republicans couldn't nominate this guy as the candidate. But could it possibly be that they are even more fucked than I thought. I mean I know this whole process will continue for months and anything can happen, but still it really makes you wonder, right? That this repulsive man could even get this far.

I know there's this whole backlash against the heady libertarian America Obama has created (HA!) but sheesh.

And yet...maybe it's not even worth thinking about. All the Republican candidates seem to be gun-loving, abortion-damning climate change sceptics that I find pretty offensive. Marco Rubio sounds like a pretty open-minded guy though: "I'm theologically in line with the Roman Catholic Church. I believe in the authority of the church, but I also have tremendous respect for my brothers and sisters in other Christian faiths." That's so great that he can respect other Christians. The world will be fine with him at the helm of USA, a man that has such respect for diversity.

So I guess Trump schmump. At least I don't have to live in America.

A very little something (PM)

I feel a little :) when I think about the Princess Bride reunion! And another thing that makes me :) is this picture one of my pals posted on FB:

It's a giant pile of carrots in a field in Sweden. The image itself pleases me, but the hung I like the most is Appleheart's comment: "someone must have cut the carotted artery". Ha! Such a good one. When your guy is a writer by trade you live in fear that you're not going to like their writing. So far that hasn't happened and when I read things like this I feel quite reassured that it never will (noting that comments on FB are quite different to plays, but it's all writing, right??!!)

A very little something (AM)

Yesterday while driving to the Queen Vic market I wrote all of today's post in my head. I felt pretty productive but the problem with writing posts in one's head is that until we have computer chips implanted in our heads all that writing is going to stay up there. It's such a conundrum because on the one hand I don't want AI in my brain and on the other hand, well shiiiiiit, it would make so many things so much easier. Like paying bills and writing emails and definitely writing blog posts. Because by the time I sat down to write my post last night at 11:30 I'd been looking after my children all day and editing some woefully written articles all night all while recovering from a cold. I don't want to make excuses, but you know where I wrote the words "computer chips" 6 lines above here? I had to type that three times because it kept coming out "computer ships". Which doesn't even make any sense because I love chips heaps more than ships.

So rather than rewrite the post from my brain I did what I always do when I want to share something cool with the Soft Crab community without putting in too much effort. I went to Facebook to see if anyone had shared anything good. I hardly ever look at Facebook. Sometimes I log on and then after looking at nothing I log straight off. I hate it. But the internet gods were smiling on me last night because someone had posted a link to this.

It's not so amazing or anything, and maybe I was just really tired last night, but I love the movie Princess Bride and it was just real nice thinking about it and thinking about the whole gang back together again. And just when I was feeling all tired and happy I read the first comment under the photo, which said "The pic of Andre in the bottom corner... Feels :("

Hahaha "Feels"!

I hope Andre and Peter Falk are totally RIPing.

Jackpot (PM)

WOW!

I can honestly say that I have never coveted an Apple Watch. I just feel like my phone does exactly what I need it to do. And my watch does exactly what I need it to do as well, which is sit on my wrist and tell the time. I'm just a simple girl. I mean sure, I wouldn't mind a Dick Tracy watch, but Siri has pretty bad hearing and frankly I don't think she could handle my text messages. I can honestly say that I still do not covet an Apple Watch.

I can also honestly say I have never coveted a Harry Potter remote control wand. But that is only because I did not know they existed. And now I am coveting the shit out of it. At least I know what baby is getting for "his" birthday!

Jackpot (AM)

I got  an Apple Watch for my birthday. It's extremely exciting, as I've coveted one ever since they were born. I'm not an early adopter by any means. I only just replaced my iphone3, even though the headphone jack had been broken for about 2 years and it didn't really make or receive calls very well. But the Apple Watch just spoke to me from day 1. The way you can dictate text messages like Dick Tracey. The way you can track your daily activity and learn about the moon phases. The way it tells the time. I loved it and I wanted it and now it is mine and I feel really indulgent but also really great. 

Obviously I thought that getting an Apple Watch would be the crown jewell of my birthday booty. Of course it would be. It's a very special thing. But no, readers, it wasn't. That titles goes to the Official Harry Potter Remote Control Wand I received. Not a wand that is remote controlled. No. It is a wand you can use as a remote control for your TV/DVD. 

I struggle to find the words to describe how much I love it. I can, however, confidently say that I am the luckiest girl in the world. 

Cold comfort (PM)

Travelling + babies + baggage = a total effing drag. That is for sure. When I am travelling I try to only pack in carry-on size bags but even then, if I have the option of check-in, I will check in my carry-on just so I can be as far from my bags as possible for as long as possible. It may mean I have to wait at the other end but I don't even care.

Also, I put off unpacking for as long as possible. I hate it. I love the bit where you pull out the new stuff you bought but I hate the bit where you have to do heaps of washing or stuff your clean clothes into already overstuffed cupboards. I hate that bit. So in many ways I'm all over what K was talking about this morning. But on the other hand I am totally at odds with it.

For one, why did K have to lug all the stuff and baby across town to meet Appleheart at the car hire place? Why couldn't he get the car and pick her up? That would never happen in my household. Not because I would refuse to do such a thing (though I would voice my objections) but as much because when your boyfriend comes from the driviest family in Australia he will just make it so he can pick you up. (Don't get me wrong, he would just pick me up from anywhere. Oh no, there needs to be a good reason but bags and babies and cleaning would be reason enough.) I know K and Appleheart would have had their reasons and I hope to god those reasons never force me to cross town in the freezing cold with all that stuff.

Second, pilling. I hate it. And I hate cleaning pill balls. Maybe it would be ok if I had a lint shaver, but manually, I just find it so thankless. I feel that no matter how many balls I pick off there are still a million more to go. Just thinking about 6 hours of pill-picking is making my fingers feel irritated. Ugh.

Wow, I guess it's our differences that make the world go round, right?

Cold comforts (AM)

I unpacked my case yesterday, something I had been putting off because I couldn't face spending any more time with it. The mountain of shit one has to lug around when traveling for 2.5 months with a four month old baby is eye watering. It makes days spent in transit deeply unpleasant. 

Every time we moved cities I had to repack that fucker and doing so was a reminder that travel was imminent, and therefore deep unpleasantness was imminent. The time, after Appleheart had been in Munich for three days, I had to pack my bag, Appleheart's bag, KB's bag and portacot, clean an entire apartment while keeping KB entertained then travel across London with all bags and KB in order to meet Appleheart at a car hire place so we could drive for six hours down to Cornwall stands out as particularly effed. Though I was in no hurry to go near my case again, I'm glad I've done it and now it's finished I feel quite a bit lighter.

Unpacking meant putting away my favorite cardigan.

It's a woolly number that I got from Alpha 60 a few years ago. It's super warm and served me very well during those cool northern days and nights. 

But it also served another purpose. Because it's pure wool, it pills like a motherfucker. I hate pilling. But I love getting rid of those tiny little wool balls. I find it soothing, relaxing and comforting. And it's perfect activity for occasions like the time we drove to Cornwall in the rain over six hours and I had to sit in the back seat to ensure l was able to put KB's dummy back in his mouth whenever it came out and avoid extreme hysteria. 

Look at all those grubby little balls! It kept me going for hours. And almost as soon as you wear it after de-pilling it, it gets covered in pilly bits again. It's a gift that keeps on giving. I guess i'll have to find a more seasonally appropriate source of comfort now. 

2016 reflections (PM)

Well, this is embarrassing. First of all, I'm here on the wrong day. Sorry about that. Basically, my circadian rhythms are to blame, and even though I knew yesterday was called 'Thursday', I didn't realize it was in actual fact, Thursday. Then, this morning, while trying to find the source of the weevil infestation in my pantry, I remembered it was Thursday yesterday and I had some MSC to write. 

I jumped on my iPad and wrote about how even though January 2016 was an intense month for me too (5 countries, -12 degrees on some days, a baby strapped to my chest constantly whenever i went shopping though really, I wanted to be trying on clothes, Bowie and Rickman) it was actually a wonderful, wonderful time. I mentioned that I ate some great rye bread and a spit roasted pork knuckle sandwich. I mentioned that I saw the opera that Appleheart and his pal wrote and while I expected to not really like it much because I know nothing about contemporary opera, it totally blew my mind. I also mentioned how I took KB for his very first swim at a pool in Munich and the woman behind the counter asked me in a very thick accent whether I needed any "Aqua shorts for babies". Hahaha. 

But then I had some technical difficulties while trying to search for a photo of the Aqua shorts I bought and it all disappeared! Boo. So basically I guess I'm saying that January was intense but wonderful, and February is a bit of a shambles, but gee it's nice to be home. 

2016: reflections (AM)

I know that February seems  too early for reflections but January was pretty intense and  I feel it really deserves some reflection before we move on to enjoy the awesome year that 2016 is bound to be.

2015 ended fine, Christmas went for days but was pleasant and largely lazy and warm and all the good stuff. And 2016 began normally enough, I was in the countryside ringing in the new year with Blizzie and my babies and their babies and some friends of theirs and it was all lovely. Days passed, I went back to work, I quit my job and then hours after that happy moment, on the train home from work I got a message from a friend. 

I was so shocked. I guess it was not knowing he was sick. And he was so, so great. 

David Bowie has always been a great favourite of Miss Soft Crab and I feel like we need to take a moment to remember his excellence. The British legend, who died at 69 after a battle with cancer. 

I actually could not believe my ears when I heard on the radio three days later about Alan Rickman. The British legend, who died at 69 after a battle with cancer. Alan Rickman was so great. When I was little I used to watch this film my mum liked called Truly, Madly, Deeply. It was a romance in which Alan Rickman played a ghost. It was great. But why pretend that the most important part he played for me is anything other than Snape? Shit gets pretty real at the end of Harry Potter and Snape's role and their relationship, well it's pretty...moving (excuse me, I have something in my eye).

I couldn't stop thinking about it when Rickman died. He was a really great actor. I like him a lot. 

They say celebrity deaths happen in threes. But in this case it's just three deaths of old, great, codgers, because a couple of weeks after Alan Rickman, it was time for my parents' cat, Aphrodite. 

She would have been almost 19, we got her when I was around 17 or 18, she used to sleep on my bed and was so sweet. But then I moved out and she became a bitch (possibly unrelated). You had about 12 good seconds of patting her before she'd lash out with her claws but she was still sweet. Doing all that cat stuff like rubbing against your legs (when she wanted something), sleeping in the sun, deserting you. I loved her, but she died sleeping in some bushes as all cats should. 

January, you were not without your delights, but you, unlike others, we're not gone too soon. 2016 onwards and upwards. 

2016 projections (PM)

Friends! Happy new year from me too! This week, I return home after ten weeks away, and so it feels like the year and real life is about to start again. Hooray! I've missed normal life a lot. Adventuring is great, of course. It's challenging and thrilling and new and requires different currency and there are different shows on the tv and regular items have different names.

 But adventuring is also hard. Sometime I'll tell you about it (probably on Thursday). But right now it's time to look ahead and get excited about 2016. 

First, let me look sideways and say how proud I am of J and baby.  Baby has started school and I for one am feeling very proud and excited. J has started her own business and I for one and feeling very proud and excited. To both J and baby I say 'Toi Toi Toi!' which is what the Germans say when they mean good luck or break a leg or something. I'm looking forward to much success for those guys.

Other things that I'm excited about for 2016 are meeting some new babies that came along late last year, experiencing summer weather and eating Vietnamese food. Come wintertime, I'm looking forward to wearing the puffer jacket that has kept me very warm over here, in the snow and the wind and the rain. Melbourne winter can cop that! 

2016: projections (AM)

Friends! Happy New Year! Apologies for the extended hiatus but us crabs really gotta refuel, ya know!? I hope everyone had a great summer (or winter if you spent it north side. I mean waaaaaay north side). I had a nice summer pretty relaxo, but I gotta tell ya, I'm pretty excited to get this year happening in full effect! 

I love a new year, especially the kind where you don't really what's going to happen. The best thing about starting this year was knowing I was going to quit the job that made me so unhappy. I did that my first week back after the Christmas break. I can not recommend this highly enough if you are miserable in your job. What a great way to start the year! Now I'm freelancing, which is, on the one hand terrifying, but on the other hand totally exciting because part of my plan is to try to find some satisfying and challenging work. And if I fail at that at least I'll be doing boring work at home without travelling miles and feeling resentful. Woot 2016!

Also 2016 is the year Baby starts school. Yet more terrifying and super exciting business. He stared last week and so far it seems a super tiring emotional roller coaster. And that's just for me. Badoom cha! But seriously folks remember school. How it was so much fun and also so horrible. Ugh, I actually can't think about it too much or I might have to take him out for home schooling. It seems equally terrifying and exciting as my new career. But possibly a 5.5-year-old mind interprets it differently. But hey I'm here to talk about me, right?!

Because of my new lifestyle of working from home and having a child at shook five days a week I've also decided to start just doing stuff again, you know, like how Nike tells you to. In 2014 I took up ballet on a whim and because I thought I should just do stuff. But then I ran out of time and money. But now I'm in denial about not having those things so I've totally taken up ballet again. I'm probably at a class right now as you read this! Just do it! I'm just gonna do it all.  Yeah,

2016! Here's to ya!

Technical difficulties

Due to technical difficulties Miss Soft Crab will return on Monday, February 8. 

Snootchie bootchies.