Monday, April 8, 2013

TV's Night of Nights (AM)

So did anyone watch TV's night of nights last night?
No, me neither. I tuned in for about five minutes, but you could hardly call what I did in those five minutes 'watching the Logies'. I was really just doing that thing you do when you are mentally ready for bed but your body hasn't caught up yet, so you watch a little of whatever's on tele until you can't take it anymore. During the bit of the Logies I watched, I think Bondi Rescue won an award. Or is it Bondi Vet? Are either of those shows a thing? They both sound plausible to me.

Anyway, it was very very boring five minutes. But it made me realise that any time there is a 'night of nights', a  'morning of online photo galleries' can't be far behind.

And boy was I right. I've spent the last half hour looking at heaps of photos of people I don't recognise trying to look sexy/elegant/grand but really only succeeding at looking boring.
Would you like to see a sample of my favourites? Of course you would.

Here we have a picture of Brooke Satchwell who I'm sure you all remember from Neighbours back in the day, and from being the first woman to indicate that being Matthew Newton's girlfriend might hurt.

This dress is fine I guess. Kind of boring though. But the reason this picture caught my eye was  because of the hilarious caption on the TV Week webbie: "Brooke Satchwell brings a taste of class to the awards night, in this strapless black dress with lace bodice."
A 'taste' of class. Just a little taste and no more. Ha.

Now, look at this hot mess:

It's coral coloured. Coral! Only nail polish and coral can get away with that colour. And that wedge of lace in the skirt. Ew. It's a wedge of gross.

Here is Gold Logie winner Asher Keddie looking like this:


Thank goodness for Brynne.

Now there's a woman who really owns the fact that she has no clue. I like that about her.

Here is a woman called Kylie Gillies who apparently currently co-hosts The Morning Show with Larry Emdur.

My interest in her is that she looks so much like Celine Dion. Nothing more. 

Here is a woman who's name I forgot to jot down. Her dress is so far so boring until you get to the bottom and WOW!

You realise she's bringing sexy pretzel tail back. 

Finally, here is a woman who I think might be trying to look like Kristen Wiig from the Oscars in 2012:

Leave it to the Wiigster, sister. 

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