Thursday, December 18, 2014

Placeholder!!!

Hi you guys, I can't talk now on account of a massive pre-Xmas workload that won't quit even though I keep thinking it's about to but no, dumkopf, it's really not. I want to properly reflect on my Most Five you see, and I canna do that till, well, the weekend realistically. 
So please bear with me until Monday. 
Until then, here is a picture of Newbie's frog on the melbourne skywheel...


Wednesday, December 17, 2014

The Most Five (AM)

I've said it before and I'll say it again: how the hell does the space-time continuum work? Let me also say that I am dying a little bit inside because I used a hyphen in 'space-time continuum' because my laptop has died and I don't know how to do an en-dash on the iPad. In fact by the end of this post I will probably be completely dead inside because this is my last post for the year and the formatting is going to be completely wackadoo because Blogger and Apple can't seem to get together to make an easy blogging platform with nice formatting. Sorry, what I was saying is how the hell when you're a kid a year goes so slow and when you're an adult it seems to take about 15 minutes. I mean this time in two weeks its going to be 2015. Say what?!? So let's take a look back at the year that was with my Most Five List. Some bests, some worsts, all the mosts.



1. Blur. Not exactly, but I was just looking at last year's Most Five List and number one was Blur. The pleasure of buying tickets to see them, the pain of them cancelling their Big Day Out show and the fear I'd never get to see them. Well I still haven't, but given I just saw Damon play last week, which was absolutely a highlight of the year I thought, what the hell, Blur can top my Most 5 List. I loved the shit out of Damon's gig and I'd be happy if Blur could make it on my list for wonderful reasons every year. #hereshoping While we are on the rock and roll I don't want to forget how much I loved Bruce all the way back in February. I guess I don't get out much.



2. Newbie meets Baby. Obviously even more exciting that Damon was the arrival of Newbie. This kid is out of sight adorable. I mean, Baby was and is effing cute and it was hard to imagine meeting a kid quite as nice, but Newbie fits the bill! That smiley little head, his ability to develop just like a baby should. I effing love this kid and Baby is a pretty great big bro too. It's real nice having a little family of awesome dudes. But it's not all beer an skittles. Although a healthy little chubber now, Newbie wasn't always so healthy, it was stressful yo and definitely the source of some of this year's bests and worsts. Not to take away from Baby, that kid started kinder this year and is so goddamn delightful to watch continue to grow. I love these guys!!!   

3. Moving house. There were lots of great things about living at my Mum and Dad's house for 3 years: the views, the extra adult companionship when LB was away, the easy-access babysitting, but moving into our own (rental) house has really been great. The space is so nice, the white walls, all our books out of boxes and on shelves. Finally I'm starting to shed the feeling of regression, finally the feeling of inertia is leaving.  

4. Simple pleasures. One of the plus sides of being a stay-at-home mother that spends 70% of her time with people under 5 is that it does not take a lot to make me happy. Like I said before I really do not get out a lot, especially sans bebes and when I do I feel like I'm the luckiest person alive. A couple of months ago I was at Leglsly and Miguel's for dinner, there were a few other peeps there and it was very impromptu and we ate Lebanese pizza and my children were at home and I just felt so goddamn great. When other people have demands on all your time, any time alone or with a friend is really the dreamiest, and it's pretty great finding joy in such a simple thing. 


5. New steps, new steps. Ballet, yeah, that's been fun but doing something new has been great too. Here's to more of that!!

Hey, everyone, have a really great holiday period and new year, I can't wait to see you on here on the flipside! 

Monday, December 15, 2014

Down time revisited (PM)

I can vouch for the restorative power of a Friday night spent with a hunk/listening to excellent music, and a Saturday in the sun. Even though I worked all day yesterday, I basically feel like I've just had a long weekend! 

Down time revisited (AM)

You know how five days ago K and I were all "Ugh I can't wait for some down time! I've got no distance left to run!" Well I have found this past weekend incredibly reviving and frankly I feel pretty great. Here let me give you some simple tips:

1. If possible start the weekend by seeing one of your favourite musicians perform. If this person also happens to be one of your favourite hunks more the better! 


K and I very successfully did this when we went to see Damon Albarn on Friday night. He was totally rad and everything I dreamed of and more and the only bad thing I can say about the experience is that I can't do it all the time. 

2. Spend time with friends. Eat ice cream. Saturday afternoon was really hot but I had a lovely afternoon at K's new joint and finished off the afternoon getting ice cream with Pickle and Steven Jameson. Ice cream is really good in the heat. I got nectarine sorbet. So refreshing.



3. Ditch your family. I love my boyfriend and my children very, very much but I'm pretty sure the fact LB and Baby were away for 24 hours and I managed to clean the house and lie around was pretty integral to my rejuvenation.

4. Shirk responsibility. After a discussion with K, I suggested to Chutney Club that instead of making and exchanging chutneys at our Christmas gathering we should all just get together and have a good time. After another discussion with K we decided that this will be the last week of Miss Soft Crab for the year! Responsibilities shirked, down time in reach. 

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Down time (PM)



Oh god mate, I know exactly what you mean and I don't even work or really have any serious commitment, except, you know, to raising my children.  This morning I was thinking how I wished this was the last week of Baby's swimming lessons just because I can't be bothered anymore, not that I'd be doing anything better with that time. I guess I just want some down time too. I'm just limping towards Christmas break of 2016 when Newbie should be old enough to join Baby for sleepovers at my folks' place and it'll be all down for 24 hours.

Down time (AM)


Who feels totally strung out and like things are busier than ever and like they desperately need some down time??!!
Yeah, me too. 
I feel a little hesitant to say that because
a) things can always get busier
b) unlike J, I don't have two small children to look after, and I'm pretty sure I don't know busyness until I know that situation. 
Side note: the other day I was talking to my Mum and saying how full on it seems for people with two children, and I asked her how she managed with three. She said she didn't know. She said sometimes she thinks about how for about a decade, she worked four days, looked after three kids (which includes cooking every meal and washing every thread of clothing etc. etc. etc.) and saw her Mother for a quick visit every day and she has no clue, absolutely no clue, how she managed it. I did not feel comforted by these words 
Right now, I'm longing for a little down time. I fantasise about having a couple of days where I don't have to do anything or be anywhere. I would sleep in and then go get a coffee and maybe make shortbread. Or better still, just eat a shortbread. Mmmm. I guess all that stuff is pretty achievable. I just need to limp towards the Christmas break and it's going to be all down, all the time. In a good way. 

PS: I find that photo of the welsh lamb very soothing


Monday, December 8, 2014

Goodbye David and Margaret (PM)

When I heard David and Maragret were retiring I actually felt like crying. Not sobbing, I just felt like tearing up a little, like when Heath Ledger died or something. 



That whole day I felt sad and kept wanting to talk about it, like when Philip Seymour Hoffman died. That's how I felt, like some distant yet  present... presence was lost. And then I kept telling myself to man the hell up. But as I've been watching At the Movies over the last few weeks I really have felt the weight of sadness of the loss of some distant intangible thing. 

For much longer than it should have, the presence of hunks heavily influenced my movie-going but even back then it was good  to know what we were in for. And it was exciting that a film you'd waited for had finally arrived. Or would on Thursday. 

Even though movies are so shit these days I still love the idea of them and it's so nice to spend half an hour on Tuesday night thinking about them. I'm gonna miss that time with Margaret and David. 


Sunday, December 7, 2014

Goodbye David and Margaret (AM)

While I was away, I heard one piece of news from home that made my heart feel funny, made me feel far far away and and made me want to rush back as soon as I could. The news of David and Margaret's retirement. 

David and Margaret. 



Those loveable wags. I've been watching them since I was a kid. Actually, probably since I was a teenager mucking around at J's house where watching SBS was a legitimate choice. The Movie Show was a show about my favourite thing, and in those early days when I watched and liked a lot more movies than I do now, it was a way to build excitement for my favourite thing. Back then, by the time  a movie had reached the point of review on The Movie Show, we'd probably been reading about it in TV Hits for months. But the review meant that the moment had finally arrived, the movie was going to come out (on Thursday, of course) and we were finally going to see it for ourselves. Margaret and David provided the last surge of hype before it was time to pay our $7.50. 



Back then, it didn't matter what they thought, I had already made up my mind whether I wanted to see it. Point Break is a total lemon, David and Margaret? What do I care, Keanu Reeves is in it. You say My Own Private Idaho is flawed and unsure of itself with unnecessarily arty sex scenes, David and Margaret?  What do I care, Keanu Reeves AND River Phoenix are in it. 

Of course, as I got older I listened to what they had to say a bit more and balanced it against my need to see hunks on screen. I learnt a lot from them and I learnt a lot about where my tastes lie (basically a lot of Margaret but with a strong flourish of David from time to time.) Most of the time, you could count on them to refrain from spoilers, though Margaret can't help herself sometimes. But, when Margaret gives a spoiler, it's usually because she's been moved by a scene and feels compelled to talk about it. Which goes to what I think makes David and Margaret so appealing to me, the thing that made me want to watch their show every week. Those guys really, truly, unmistakably feel something about films. They can talk intelligently about them, they can interpret them in ways and place them in contexts that I can't dream of, but the reviews that are the most striking are the reviews of films that they just plain loved. Like this one
Because that's how I am too. I really feel something for films. So when I heard the news, I felt some feelings, I realised that these guys mean a lot to me and I would miss them when they go. 

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Everything I've thought about Channing Tatum in the last 36 hours (PM)

The truth is, I didn't hate the Tater Tot when I went to see Magic Mike. I just hated myself for seeing Magic Mike. I thought the Tater was going to be repulsive but he wasn't. He wasn't. But nor is he a hunk. Hunks don't inspire ambivalence, which that guy does. It's just as J says. This is what people think hunks are these days. And that's fine, they can think that. But look at this and tell me whether you feel ambivalence:


Yeah, I didn't think so. 

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Everything I've thought about Channing Tatum in the last 36 hours (AM)



To be honest for years I didn't bother learning to distinguish between Shia LaBoef and Channing Tatum, they were just names attached to boring faces that appeared in naf films. Then The Beef started to act like a minor nut job while the Tater's face continued to appear on the posters of adaptations of Nicholas Sparks novels and while I learned to differentiate them I didn't bother because I didn't give a shit about them.

Imagine my surprise then when I found myself watching 22 Jump Street the other night and wondering to myself if Channing Tatum may be a hunk. I don't know if I was just looking for a distraction in a pretty shit film or if it's that in fact Channing Tatum has a certain je ne sais quoi but whatever the reason, 36 hours ago I thought to myself, "I wonder if Channing Tatum is a minor hunk". I mean that's how it started with Hemsworth, just a question and eventually the answer came back, "YES, this guy is a hunk!" 

22 Jump Street is a really long movie so I spent about an hour thinking, "Well this Tatum is not quite as boring or repulsive as I expected, he may even be a little bit charming or handsome." (Hour 36.) After an hour of this I guess I got bored so I started thinking "Could I have been wrong about this guy, could there be more hunk to him than meets the eye??" (Hour 35.)

After the movie finished I thought I better do my due diligence and Google Channing Tatum (hour 34) and I was both disappointed and relieved to find that, as previously thought, he is not a hunk at all. Handsome in that boring all American way, the star of boring movies, charming enough to be watchable and unrepulsive, I decided that he is a tolerable version of what Hollywood is currently passing off as a hunk, but in no way, NO way is this guy an actual hunk. And with that the status quo was restored and I could go back to not thinking about Channing Tatum again (hours 33-0).

Monday, December 1, 2014

Just a little something (PM)

For some reason I can't see J's YouTube on my phone, which is a bummer because I truly love to laugh. 
Here's a little something I saw the other day that made me chuckle.


Topical too! 

Just a little something (AM)


Yesterday was hot and last night I had a terrible headache, thought it would become a migraine but I just went to bed and it turned out fine. Anyway, luckily someone posted this video on Facebook, it's probably a little longer than it needs to be but it's funny so we all get a laugh without me having to work hard! Win!


Thursday, November 27, 2014

Kids say the darnedest things (PM)

Bill Cosby, what an effing douchebag. Don't stuck your dick uninvited into people's cake hole!

Happy birthday Mrs K!

It's true though, kids really do say the darnedest things. Like how Baby calls Sultana Bran 'Sultana Brown', which I guess it is. And calls macadamia nuts 'Damien nuts'. And how he calls a bench a 'vench' and I couldn't bring myself to tell him it's called bench and then one day he heard me call it a bench and he was all 'Hey you said bench, it's called a vench!' And I was all, 'Yeah, about that...'

Baby, who is 4, also told my mum he is 'a little bit of a teeneager' and told me that when he is a man he will 'buy 40 watermelons and tape them all up together and eat them.' And afterwards he will 'need to do a giant poo'. So yeah kids do say the darnedest things but I don't need Bill Cosby to tell me that.  

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Kids say the darndest things (AM)


So who knew Bill Cosby was such a rotten apple? Crikey. 
A little side note: I had a dream the other night that my boss called me in to his office to tell me that the big boss, the man in charge, had requested that I brief him on the Bill Cosby situation as a matter of urgency. I said "Of course!" but then thought shit, I need to get up to speed on Cosby because all I know is something vague about rape and qualudes. True story. 
Anyway, th allegations don't change the fact that the dude was right about one thing: kids really do say the darndest things. 

Last night, I was at Mum and Dad's house celebrating Mum's 70th birthday. Happy birthday Mum! Niecey and Little Nut were there, and in fine form because they are small children and therefore love birthdays. They also have strong views about birthday cake. Love it fully sick. They were talking about it all night including the whole time we were eating our roast chicken and vegetables, only they weren't eating their dinners, they were just talking about cake. Midbro made the point that if they didn't start putting proper food in their cake holes, then their cakes holes would not deserve to be called cake holes. Little nut got a bit teary over this but Niecey reassured him by saying "don't worry Little Nut, it's dinner time now so your cake hole is actually your Broccolini hole, but it will become your cake hole again after dinner ."
Ha. 

 

Monday, November 24, 2014

It's important to have goals (PM)

I have to admit I was a little nervous about this morning's post because I've been thinking that I really need to set some goals, but life goals. But despite all this thinking about it I haven't set any! So I really thought the pressure would be on. Thank god we are only talking about low level goals. Right now my goal is to have fun at the world's lamest waterslide park and hope that Baby doesn't realise how lame it is. 


It's important to have goals (AM)



I've never been a big goal setter. I'm more of a 'move in a general direction and take thugs as they come' kind of girl. I've always felt like it's good to be open to different kinds if scenarios and it's worked well for me so far. 
But when you move in a general direction rather than pursue a defined goal, there's less clarity about when you've reached your destination, and therefore less satisfaction when you get there. I was thinking about this the other day and it occurred to me that maybe I'm missing out by not setting goals. In trying to stay open to things, maybe I'm actually missing out. Achieving a goal is rad! I want a piece of that, I decided.

So I've set myself a goal and it's a real rip snorter. I'm going to get all my Christmas shopping done before the end of November. Great idea, right? It will have the twin benefits of getting an important task that I always leave to the last minute out of the way, and because I have identifies it as a goal, I will feel great for achieving it. 
It's a win win. Now you guys try! 


Thursday, November 20, 2014

Three cheers for beers! (PM)

Well shit guys. J has managed to write something for these pages while single parenting and preparing for a holiday, and I couldn't even post something anywhere near deadline! I read J's post this morning and thought hell yeah, then got totally wrapped up with my day and it didn't occur to me again until 5:30. Bad form. And then, not because of bad form but because I am a bad person, it's not until now (11:07 PM) that I am writing anything. 
But now I'm here let me echo those cheers for Beers of this morning. Feeling like a beer and then drinking a beer is such a great thing. I hope that's what J is doing right now. 
This is where I am, but I hope J is drinking a beer. 

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Three cheers for beers (AM)

I've been single-mumming it for the last week. "How's it going?" Friends asked after one day. "Fine!" I said and it was, but four days later, on Monday, I was pretty impressed with myself that I managed to get out more than a sentence here. Today, friends, I'm just impressed that I even turned up here at all. Today we're hitting the road via the air to meet LB and last night I had to get ready. Pack, clean house, also feed and look after children. My folks came to assist in the latter and still when Baby and Newbie got to asleep all I wanted was alcohol and to cry. Luckily the first negated the need for the latter but still it didn't give me much inspiration. So let's just hear it for beer. Oh I've heard there are healthier ways to deal with stress but to be honest I can't really think about anything other beer. You know, in moderation. And seeing my sweetheart this afternoon. That will rule!


Monday, November 17, 2014

Fairy tale bullshit (PM)

I haven't read any fairytales lately and there's no way I'm going to now. Like we need more greed and douchyness in our lives! 

I do, however, need to see Frozen as a matter of priority. Niecey loves it with all her heart and as I think I've said before, if I want to relate to her I need to know more about Elsa and Anna and now this Christophe chap that J mentioned. The other day I was hanging out with Niecey and Little Nut and things were pretty chaotic as usual. At some point I referred to the fact that Appleheart used to live in Norway and suddenly everything stopped and from across the room Neicey said "DOES HE KNOW ELSA??!!" and because I hadn't seen the movie I felt It wasn't a lie to say "I don't know". BUt I knew it was a lie. I just wanted to seem cool.
And here is a photo I took in Iceland which looks frozen lots of the time and probably has better fairy tales than we do. 


Sunday, November 16, 2014

Fairy tale bullshit (AM)



Have you read a fairy tale lately?! They are fucked up. I'm not even talking about the princess-being-saved-by-a-prince genre (yeah Cinderella, Snow White, Rapunzel you are doing nothing for your sisters but it's not your fault really) surely this has been done to death and we all know how effed these stories are in their reinforcement of the patriarchy. No I'm talking about the boy hero ones. 

Let's take Jack and the Beanstalk, the story of a poor boy who finds himself in a rich man'a
S (giant's) house and  decides to steal a bag of gold. Ok, he's hungry, he's just lost his cow, his mum is totally pissed at him, you can almost forgive this poor boy. But then the little fucker returns to the giant's place to steal more. Not satisfied with the gold he wants the harp, the goose, everything. Apparently a popular version of the story from the early 1800s suggests that the giant had originally stolen all that booty from Jack's dad but I've never heard that version and frankly, I'm not buying it.

What about Puss in Boots? I didn't really know this story well until Baby got a book. In this story a young man, a miller's son, inherits a cat that tricks the king into thinking the young man is a generous marquis. The cat gets all these people to tell the king the faux marquis owns a bunch of land and then the young man gets to marry the princess. What? Apparently this story is meant to demonstrate the importance of hard work and savoir fair, but I can't help feel that it demonstrates how to be a money-grubbing, manipulative douche or a willing pawn. And what the hell happens after the man marries the princess, how's he going to explain that he doesn't own all that land and that all his clothes other than those the king gave hit are more befitting a miller's son. I mean that cat isn't even smart, he isn't forward thinking at all if you ask me. In fact the more I think about this story, the worse it gets.

Thank god we've moved past these kinds of stories. I know that people go on about what a great movie Frozen is because the sisters are doing it for themselves, and word up to that, but I don't think we should overlook the industry of Christophe, a man with a passion for ice who works hard to get to where he is in life. Sure there's a little nepotism at the end, but that just reflects reality and he's still a hard-working ice man. 

I also worry about the perpetuation of the idea of a stepmother as evil. I mean in this day and age that's got to be dangerous, stepmothers are no longer relegated to the realm of marrying widow kings and gentlemen, anyone can have a stepmother these days. Watch out also if your child asks you what a stepmother is, and definitely don't explain it by saying something like "well if daddy and I decided not to be boyfriend and girlfriend anymore..." Because while personalising things may be helpful in assisting understanding, unnecessarily introducing the idea that parents can split up to a small child is, well, unnecessary. 

Wow, who knew it was possible to hate on fairy tales so hard!?

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Recent purchases (PM)

Congratulations on buying a house, Mate. So adult! Also that Aesop moisturiser really is the bomb, I'm all out and really need to get me some of that. And I love those bathers! I've been coveting them too, but given I just bought bathers for literally a tenth of the cost (OK, literally a ninth of the cost) I have been forcing myself to turn a blind a eye to their awesomeness. But kudos for acquiring that awesomeness, Mate.

Anyway, I'm glad you brought this up, Mate, because I myself made a life-affirming purchase this week. Two in fact. I replaced my two pairs of ripped-knee Dejour jeans with two new pairs of unripped Dejour jeans. 


Of course most readers know Dejour. On Tuesday after I'd been there I went to visit my friend L-Bomb, she's recently returned home from six years in London with her English husband. When I asked her how he liked living in Melbourne she told me he'd recently initiated an outing saying, "There is a place called Brunswick and there is a jeans shop there. I'd like to go there to buy jeans." Dejour! The jeans are made in-store all cost around 50 bucks, are super flattering and are altered to fit perfectly. It is always crowded as all git out and pretty small so is kind of annoying but I knew I wanted a black pair and a blue pair so I went at 9:30, straight after dropping Baby at kinder and right when they opened, I marched in tried on jeans got them marked up paid my $100 left to do a quick supermarket shop and returned 30 mins later to pick up my perfectly fitting jeans. Oh my God you guys, you know how I've been all "I don't know what to do about my clothes!"? It was just a jeans situation, I wore those blue jeans on Tuesday and felt like myself again. It's like everything old was new! VIVE LE JEANS!!!

Recent purchases (AM)

It's been the longest time since the misses soft crab have talked about buying stuff (days can feel long after all), so I thought I would share some of my recent purchases with you. What fun. 


Aesop geranium leaf body balm is the best moisturiser ever and I dont know why I try any others. I've been eeking out every last skerrick of my last tube, rolling it up and squeezing like crazy like with toothpaste. But now I've got a fresh one and everything is good again. 

Nice bathers from Kuwaii. Since I joined Instagram I've been following some clothes shops and labels and coveting more things more often. They post a picture of some nice new thing coming in store and sure enough, it makes you want it. Kuwaii posted pictures of these bathers for weeks before they were available in store and as you can imagine it whipped me into a bit if a frenzy of desire. I went in and tried them on, kidding myself that I just wanted to see of they fit. Idiot. But I love my new bathers. 


A house! 
Things moved pretty quickly after Monday's post and now Appleheart and I have a house with a garden. Contracts have been signed and tears of excitement have been shed. It also has a shed! 

Monday, November 10, 2014

Adult Themes (PM)

Casey Affleck identifies an adult

A couple of years ago I was driving down Punt Road worrying about whatever was worrying me at the time, probably some combination of something due at work, some bill I couldn't afford, and a need to make some appointments, when I thought "Gee it will be good when these things are resolved and I'm stress-free." And then I realised that it didn't really matter that these things would be resolved because being an adult basically meant there was almost always some minor stress and any reprieve would be fleeting. That's not to say that being an adult sucks, there are definite advantages, like being of a legal drinking age and being able to decide what take-away to have for dinner, it just also means there is always shit to do and not all of it is fun. And some of it is shit.

That said buying a house with your sweetheart, there's a problem worth having, am I right?

Buying a house does seem hard though, I mean there are all these different houses in all these different places with a bunch of different things to recommend them AND (usually) all only available to purchase in about a 20-minute window on a given day and not necessarily in order of your preference. So you have to decide how much you want to pay for each one, what price you will be happy with if it means you don't get your favourite place, and what value do you place on amenities, space, all that jazz. Ugh.

Personally I think in this day and age people place way to much importance on space. But I live in a house with reasonable sized rooms and a back yard, so who am I to talk. Having spent 3 years living across town from my friends, work and preferred hang-out places I can say that now being near all those things is way, way better. But you can get used to anything so I'm sure however a person decides to chose their house will be fine. We're here for a long time, not a good time, after all.



Adult Themes (AM)

No reason
I like being an adult because most of the time it feels like being teenager, but with fewer hangups, and a better understanding of things like how to stay warm and how to work with what you've got vis a vis your own hair. That's what it's like most of the time, but obviously not all of the time. It can't be denied that there are some distinctly adult responsibilities that come with being an adult, and when those pop up I often feel like I'm ill-equipped to deal with them. Not unable to deal with them, mind. Just ill-equipped. It's like sometimes my adult life throws me an experience that makes me feel like it's one of those days when its's nice and warm in the sun, but quite chilly in the shade and I've left the house without a jacket or a jumper. You know, ill-equipped.

Right now, Appleheart and I are looking for a place of our own to buy. It's a very exciting thing to be doing, natch. Not that long ago I spent a good part of each day thinking things like "gosh, I hope Appleheart likes me". Now I am thinking things like "gosh, would my copy of the Cooks Companion look good alongside Appleheart's copy of the Cooks Companion in this place?". It doesn't get much more exciting than that, really. But it's very adult. The kind of very adult thing that make me feel like I'm caught outside without a jumper in Melbourne in SPRING. It's not parental guidance recommended. It's not MA15+. It's dead set AO.

There are lots of adult dimensions to this thing, but the thing that I'm struggling with the most is thinking long term. You know, like whether one should get a place that one can "grow into" even though to be affordable, such a place would be miles away from everyone and everything. Would I feel isolated and cut off in such a place and long to be closer to things? Right now it takes me 3 minutes to walk to the gym, 2 minutes to walk to the station and 5 minutes to walk to Barkly Square. And 25 minutes to get to work, door to pod. That is some pretty tidy amenity. But is it essential? Or is it just good to have? Because to buy something even a quarter as good as that would mean a teeny tiny place. Probably on a busy street. And probably with a funny smell to it. And that's not cool. So maybe I should prioritise space over amenity but then there's the isolation and stuff and well there I am back at square one again. You see what I mean? Such an adult scenario.

I'm not looking for answers. In fact, I know this is something Appleheart and I have to sort out for ourselves, which is another of it's super adulty dimensions. I guess I'm just feeling a lot like an ill-equipped adult at the moment and I thought I'd tell you guys about it. Believe me, I would rather be talking about hunks or something, but with this infernal hunk drought I can't even do that.




Thursday, November 6, 2014

When food gets boring (PM)

This blog is not only about food! It's just as much about clothes and not knowing what to wear and if Stephen Jameson didn't wear casual but stylish t-shirts and jeans all the time, he might learn a thing or two. 
But then again, maybe he is on to something.
If well spiced but repetitive food is the answer to our prayers (for relief of food boredom), maybe wearing the same great looking thing all the time is the answer to our clothes prayers. A small repertoire of kits that while necessarily recycled every few days, look good on all of those days. None of this wanting to wear something new and different and exciting business. Just choose some great looking things and keep  wearing them and looking great! Like all the gentlemen who came to our picnic do anyway!
Problem solved. 
But, we kind of already do that anyway. At least, I wear the same thing all the time, only I don't feel like it's that great, and the repetition kind of kills me. 
And I don't have a S&TC line to end on either. 
But here is a picture of Colin, the dog I am dog sitting at the moment. Say hello, Colin! 
He really loves it here, as you can see. 

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

When food gets boring (AM)



Well it's spring racing time here in Melbourne. A time of frocks, fashion, fascinators and horse death. You can just smell it, can't you? All this means for many of us though is laughing at the scantily clad women in heels you see tottering through some spring storm and of course the much welcome return of public holidays after a 5-month dry spell. 

To celebrate the return of the public holiday, K and I hosted a picnic. By which I mean we agreed to meet in a park at a designated time and told some other people to join us. It was a roaring success. By which I mean people showed up and food and drink were consumed. I filled baguettes, K baked things, including a delicious pumpkin tart about which Stephen Jameson asked "will this make it onto your food blog, Soft Shell Crab?" To which I replied "It's not a food blog." To which he responded "Every time I look it's about food." Well we just really like food, ok. 

So here we are again. The thing that amazes me, as a person that really likes food, is that sometimes figuring out what to eat is the worst. I've said it before, but really I mean day after day that's three meals you've got to figure out. Ugh. 

Breakfast is fine because I love porridge. Most nights I feel so happy to be going to bed because it means my morning porridge is so near. But lunch and dinner... Sure I love those meals but figuring out what I'm going to eat for them really is soooooo boring. I wonder if a way to conquer this problem may be to just have a weekly menu so there is no question. This seems boring too but it would make things easy. Most Sundays I pan fry some flathead, roast potatoes and make a salad for dinner and every week it fucking rules. Every morning my porridge totally rules. I love those things I eat all the time. Maybe I should just be doing more of that.  I feel like I've worked through this issue right here and solved my problem. Thanks guys. Maybe it's because I've been watching a lot of Sex and the City lately and now I feel my posts need to end with some neat wise sentence: Perhaps variety is not the spice of life but well spiced, yet repetitive meals are.

Monday, November 3, 2014

Worst Thing (PM)

I didn't know about Naked Dating before today and I very much wish I still didn't know. But that's life I guess. There's some rank stuff and sometimes you're ignorant to it and other times you just sit down for a nice bit of tv and there it is.  Let's all look forward to the week starting again on Wednesday, but in the meantime, here is a guy dressed as the Cookie Monster playing the bagpipes. 
Hooray! 

Worst things (AM)



Are you aware that there is a tv show called 'Dating Naked'? A guy goes on a couple of dates with a couple of ladies. And then a different lady goes on dates with a couple of dudes. And by dates I mean they meet in a rain forest somewhere and they are naked. It's so they can truly get to know each other. Or something. Then the man and the lady choose the person they preferred and they go off together into the forest, naked.

I can barely believe it is real but I've watched it and it is. I can barely believe I watched it. But I did. Only 10 minutes but that was enough to make me hate myself and the world. 

Lucky it's a public holiday tomorrow or this would be a terrible way to start the week. Let's make Wednesday a great start the week instead, 'k?

Thursday, October 30, 2014

No scrubs 2:0: Or, what it's like to want to eat fish and chips evenmore than I used to, which was all the time anyway. (PM)

Hey, Mate, your hair looks really good in that picture!

I guess the problem with No Scrubs 2.0 is that a) you actually are scrubbing; and b) you smell like delicious fish and chips. Mmmmmmm. Eeeeeeeewwww. 

But as long as your hair looks good and no one tries to eat you, you are still the big winner!

My hair is such a fucking mess at the moment I'm just thankful it's summer. I'm basically planning to bundle it on top of my head for the next 4 months and hope that by the time I let it out it's long enough to do something with. 

Monday, October 27, 2014

No scrubs 2:0: Or, what it's like to want to eat fish and chips even more than I used to, which was all the time anyway. (AM)

Used to be that the main challenge of my  No Scrubs life was keeping the ear worm that is the song No Scrubs at bay whenever I inspected my hair in the mirror. Now, I've commenced No Scrubs 2.0 and a new challenge has presented itself. 

But first, what is NS2.0 and why have I embarked on it? I'm glad you asked. Basically, though my hair looked about 70% great after four months without shampoo, there were also times when it looked just a little too manky for my liking. It was a line ball, whether I could get away with it or not. But after consulting with J and Legsley one day and confronting my own views on the matter, I finally called that ball 'out'. Truth was my hair looked a little greasy and something needed to be done. That something was what the internet tells me many people who shirk shampoo have done all along: use bi carb soda and apple cider vinegar as a kind of hippy shampoo and conditioner substitute. 
As per Internet instruction, I mixed equal parts bicarbonate soda and water in one bottle, and equal parts apple cider vinegar and water in another. I shook those babies up and proceeded to 'shampoo' and 'condition' my hair like they were a couple of bottles of Pantene.

The results were impressive. That stuff cleans hair as well as any shampoo I have ever used. There is not even a hint of grease on this head now, and it's been three days since I 'washed'. 

Of course, the extreme cleanliness means that the fluffiness I've been trying to eradicate through No scrubs is back. But happily, only a touch, and it subsides each day. 


The real challenge is the fact that I can't smell apple cider vinegar without wanting to eat F&Cs, and for the first day after I commenced NS2.0, that smell was fresh.    It went away after a day or so, thank god. But I think I'm going to have to use the power of bicarb/vinegar sparingly, lest I give in to the temptation caused by the smell radiating off my head. Eww. But also, mmmmm. 

Good weather for ducks (PM)

A lady in a country Victoria bakery would make that comment about ducks, I guess. She'd probably offer you a neenish tart too.



I guess Baby thought it was good weather for ducks too. He was in my bed over night and woke up in the middle of the night when it was raining. He started telling me some complicated story about a show called Sarah and Duck where some kid was playing a game with rubber ducks and mistook Duck for a rubber duck and something something something... Who knows what he was saying it was the middle of the night and I don't know about the weather but it was good time for sleeps, that much I know. 

Good weather for ducks (AM)

So how about that rain last night? I haven't been in (read: laid in bed and listened to) a storm like that for yonks. It's pretty exciting really, providing you're in the conditions set out in brackets above. 
One time I was in country Victoria for work, and had been driving for hours in the rain. I was a bit frazzled as I went into a country bakery to get a sausage roll for lunch, but the old woman behind the counter said "Its good weather for ducks" by way of greeting. I'd never heard that phrase before but thought it was such a good one I bought a lamington too. 
I wish I hadn't put off bringing the washing in though. Oh well. 





Thursday, October 23, 2014

Something's blowing in the wind (PM)

Your Mum calls it cabin fever, I call it asking some legitimate questions about what you want to be wearing in the future. But having said that, of course setting some goals is a good idea. And God knows time to one's self is a good idea. And exercise is a great idea! Especially if you want an excuse to get those white leggings!

I've done a couple of Les Mills TM classes in my day, and if my experience is anything to go by, you will find them equal parts annoying, hilarious, difficult and effective. Annoying because a key part of the Les Mill TM experience is the soundtrack. The classes are set to music which is especially prepared for you by Les Mills (' son) and because they are a company that is highly mindful of propriety rights, it's all re-recorded versions of contemporary 'hits'. Imagine a Katie Perry song re-recorded by someone who probably goes by Tatie Ferry and you're somewhere close to the music in  Les Mills class. No payment of royalites for those guys. No sirree. The music is very very annoying. But, it's also the reason that they're so hilarious. And as far as exercise goes, they really do the trick. They are difficult. Which makes them effective. Which closes the circle!

Even though I kind of hate group exercise classes, I'm going to set myself a goal of going to one class next week too. Maybe BodyPump, "the original barbel class that strengthens your entire body". From memory, the soundtrack to that one has a re-recorded version of Sweet Child O Mine.

I'm annoyed already

Something's blowing in the wind (AM)

On Monday morning after my mum read my post about the future of my wardrobe she texted me saying that she "detected the cabin fever of motherhood" and told me I should join a mothers group. She's probably right. For me, it turns out, being at home with two small children and no substantial time on my own makes think about: children; what clothes to wear; how old I suddenly look; what colours I should paint my nails if I ever have the chance to paint my nails; what exercise I can do if I ever get time to exercise; how to get time to exercise; porridge; and plants. One of the reasons I took up ballet was to try and combat the cabin fever but I think I need to be doing it more than once a week for it to have any significant effect.

It's not just my brain I have to worry about, it's you guys too. All I've written about this month is finding myself through clothes and Oprah. Sheesh, well I think I owe it to all of us to set some goals. So in the the next two weeks in the aim of expanding my mind I'm going to:

Do some Les Mills TM classes! Who's Les Mills and what does he teach, I hear you ask. Les Mills, New Zealand Olympian, former mayor of Auckland, the guy who seems to have the monopoly on group fitness classes at Yarra City gyms. He (or his son who actually owns Les Mills International) probably looks like this:


Put the word body in front of some kind of sporting action (Step! Pump! Balance!) and you've got a Les Mills class. TM. I'm sure it will be hilarious, or something, so I'm going to do it. For all of us. 

Fluoro chickens. A while ago I started drawing chickens. Then I stopped. But I'm going to start again. Maybe paint them too. 

Go somewhere new. I don't know where. God, just setting these goals is challenging enough for my dormant brain, but rest assured I'll figure out somewhere to go and then I'll go there. 

Let's hope for all of our sakes by November my brain has more to offer all of us. 


Monday, October 20, 2014

Clothes: where to from here? (PM)

Pickle is a bit of an oracle when it comes to what's happening in the world of clothes. It's not just that she knows what's happening from a trend point of view, which she absolutely does, it's that she puts it in a social context that really helps me make sense of it all. I mean, we've all observed the sandals and socks thing lately, but it's only when Pickle says that fashion now is everything we thought was wrong that I can start to interpret what I'm seeing. 

Given that, maybe you should get the white leggings? But I don't know where you would wear them, and your knees might feel really claustrophobic and try and make a break for freedom.

I have no clue at all where my clothes future lies. All I know is that I came back from the UK so excited to be reunited with clothes I had been separated from only to discover that all the clothes I'd left behind are shit. I'm as clothes lost as I've ever been. 

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Clothes: where to from here (AM)

I've been going through something of a crisis of confidence clotheswise. That is to say that any time I wear anything other than my jeans and sweater uniform I basically come out a hot mess. This is worsened by the fact that most of my jeans have ripped knees so even in my jeans I'm pretty much a disaster. My poor fat knees looking for freedom. I turned one pair of torn jeans into shorts, like I'm living in some past millennium. Basically, wardrobe-wise, I'm fucked. 

I've been wondering if the way to remedy this is to throw my current conceptions of my own personal style out the window. In fact I seem to have unwittingly already done this as I seem to have lost all semblance of personal style.  I told K recently I was considering a more femme look for summer, inspired by this lady (from garancedore.com). 


But I don't even know if that's true. 

I want to start wearing skirts but I hate all mine which I've owned for ever and worn to death and bought in a different fashion climate. 

The other day I tried on a pair of leggings. White leggings with blue and purple splatters. I hate the colour purple. But  I loved the leggings. Of course I selfied myself in the mirror and pretty promptly sent the picture to Pickle. And spent the rest of the day looking longingly at the picture. Loving those leggings and wondering what the fuck was happening to me. 


Eventually, as I was staring at the picture, I got a message from Pickle: Do it! They're awesome!

What followed was a pretty exciting text exchange with me saying things like: 
I can't stop looking at them/thinking about them. I think I'm going to get them but I don't know what I'll do with them. 

And:
I'm thinking about turning my whole wardrobe on it's head starting with those leggings. I don't know how to wear my clothes any more I may as well start over. 

And Pickle saying things like:
Fashion has changed more in the last year than it has in about 10 years... Things are really sporty again. Like Aths, not skater. It's like all the things we have considered outrageous are actually what we want to wear right now: socks and sandals, leggings, crop tops... It's Opposite Fashion/Fashion Opposite.

And:
I am very drawn to leopard print. I've tried to embrace it.

My god! I felt so alive, so sure of my fashion future. I knew what had to be done and I knew it would begin with those leggings. I didn't know what would happen next but I felt ready to jump into the abyss. 

And then I went to bed. I guess this is what they mean by 'sleep on it'. Because boy did everything look different the next day. Buy those crazy white leggings? Who do I think I am?! Yeah I want them, but really would I wear them out in the world?

I have been really confused. And I still am. 

On Saturday I went shopping with K and Legsly and while I kept being drawn to sweaters I told them how I felt like I should resist the sweater. How I thought it was time to start anew, but when they asked why I couldn't really say. I hate my clothes but should I really move away from the clothes I'm attracted to. Maybe I love sweaters and jeans because they are awesome. And because they suit me. Maybe I just need to add some skirts to the mix. Maybe I should replace my falling-apart jeans. Maybe these simple steps will make me feel well dressed again. Maybe I can throw those wack leggings somewhere in there too. 

Oh I don't have all the answers but I'm pretty sure this is going to be one crazy summer.  

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Nearly wordless Thursday (PM)

Who the hell is Fritz?! I guess he is just some kind of graffiti artist lovo. Get over yourself Fritz.

Or some really hungry person misspelt frites. Mmmmmmm frites. 





Nearly wordless Thursday (AM)

 I spotted this out the window of my Upfield train.  

Now I can't stop wondering who Fritz is and why his name is all in caps. 

Monday, October 13, 2014

Calling bullshit (PM)

I've never really understood pasta salad, which has always struck me, as you say Mate, as just a big bowl of cold pasta. I've never chosen it from a BBQ table because if I'm going to eat cold pasta I'll eat leftovers straight out of the fridge while no one is watching, thank you very much. However, I used to work just doors down from one of those very cafés K described, the kind that exists purely to service nearby workers. Office workers, tradies. The kind of place that has sweet treats wrapped in glad wrap. Sometimes I'd get a sandwich there. Sometimes I'd get a mix of salads. Mainly tabouli and Greek but I'd let them chuck in a bit of pasta salad too because I like to have carbs in my meals and it had a nice tangy dressing and when the whole thing was slathered in Tabasco it was pretty delicious. Having said that though I don't for a minute think that pasta salad is anything other than a bowl of cold pasta. Then again I don't really give a shit. I'm not precious about salad and I'm not precious about carbs. Hell no I'm not.

Moreover that poor woman in your meeting, Matey, would probably have preferred to be eating her cold pasta out of the fridge with no one watching too but some jerk scheduled a lunchtime meeting, let her keep a little dignity and call her lunch a salad. 

I guess my feeling is call it anything you want just don't call me late for dinner, as my dad used to say. 

Calling bullshit (AM)


Today, I'd like to call bullshit on something that presents itself as one thing, but really really isn't that thing.
Friends, I want to talk about pasta salad.
Pasta salad is something that has been around for a long time. It never really had a moment, like quinoa had a moment, or kale is having a moment. It has just always been around. Having said that, I think it was more prevalent in the days before the world went food mad, when it had a place at pretty much every BBQ table. These days, you only really find it at BBQs  where multiple generations are present. People of our generation probably wouldn't make a pasta salad unless it was an Ottolenghi recipe and had that tiny pasta in it called orzo or something like that.
But it remains a presence at a certain type of BBQ, the kind where our parents are present. And, in a certain kind of CBD cafe where they service a broad clientele and have a huge range of menu items including salads that are meant to be a healthy alternative to things like, I don't know, toasted pides or pies or something. Pasta salad is a total staple of this kind of place and I've never questioned it. Heck, i've even considered eating it for lunch when it looks fresh and green and herby, maybe with a a little pesto and chilli and maybe some toasted pine nuts on top. I never get it, but I have often considered it. The other day, however, it hit me that pasta salad is kind of a bunch of bullshit.  I was in a meeting that was scheduled for 1pm. One woman showed up and said "I hope you don't mind if I eat my salad during this meeting". The meeting was at 1pm. Lunchtime. No one minded.
But of course it was pasta salad she was eating, not leafy salad, which is absolutely her prerogative. But as I watched her tuck into it I thought lady, you are not eating 'salad', you are eating a cold bowl of pasta, and anyone who thinks that by eating it they're having a healthy option is kidding themselves.
Now don't get me wrong, I am open to a wide range of salads comprised of a wide range of things, not just leafy things. I know that the church of salad is a broad church, and that's a wonderful thing. But pasta salad is typically made up primarily of pasta, with a few other ingredients that provide the colour and movement and flavour. Much like pasta sauce on pasta. Which is to say, pasta salad is basically a cold bowl of pasta. I don't know how it found its way into the light and healthy lunch options category, because it totally isn't. Maybe Big Carbohydrate had something to do with it. But I can finally see pasta for what it is and I'm calling bullshit on it.







Thursday, October 9, 2014

Who am I? (PM)

I kind of wish I was on Oprah.com right now, taking that quiz and figuring out who I'm meant to be. The only reason I'm not is because I've kind of figured out that who I'm supposed to be is someone who gets distracted easily, so I'm strictly limiting my internet activity during business hours because the internet is a giant distraction factory and I am very weak. It's not really working because it turns out that old timey sources of distraction, such as looking out of the window, are just as distracting as the internet only I never had to test this before because of the internet. But enough of that. 

Speaking of distraction, I bought this spotty jumpsuit while I was away and I don't know whether I can wear it to work but I really really want to. 

I also don't know if I can pull off a spotty jumpsuit but I really rally want to. 






Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Who am I? (AM)



It was Yom Kippur on Saturday, the day of atonement. It's also a time for self reflection. Russeth fasted and, presuming he had the presence of mind through the hunger, I assume he atoned and reflected. Around sunset that night though I received this message from him "So I've just left the house to get my post Yom meal and nearly said hello to a woman I thought was Mondonna". Readers, Mondonna lives in America, so the chances of her walking past Russeth were slim. Whether Russeth was in any position to make a sound assessment of the year just gone remains to be seen. I did not observe Yom Kippur but that doesn't mean I haven't been atoning and reflecting. Just the other night I did an Oprah quiz. Yes, now that Oprah is no longer a tv show she is a website. And a television station by all accounts. 

To be honest I don't know if I intended to google "what should I do with my life?" or if predictive googling distracted me, either way in order to discover who I am meant to be, I found myself ranking, according to frequency, statements  like "others think of me as nurturing". I don't know Oprah, go ask the others! Or "I lose sight of my own needs". Yes Oprah, sometimes I do. Why the fuck else would I be doing this quiz, I certainly don't need to be, a fact I've clearly lost sight of. 

It became clear to me when I'd finished the quiz that it was the kind of thing where any result would give me some reassuring, positive and inaccurate assessment of myself and after looking around for some more enjoyable quiz (I love quizzes, I find them very relaxing. I enjoy surveys in the same way and will always do one when telesurveyors ring with them) but it turns out that Oprah the website is at least as annoying as Oprah the tv show was and after laughing at the discovery of an article called "how to wear jeans to work" I looked under my chair to see if there was a gift bag only to find nothing and shut down the Oprah window.  

So Oprah helped me achieve nothing and a 24-hour fast would probably make me as delusional as it did Russeth. I've got a year to figure out how to best self reflect and how I can apologise to myself for spending on Oprah.com. 

Monday, October 6, 2014

Dreams can come true (PM)

I had no idea that story was going to end so happily! Even though the post was called Dreams can come true. But who would dare to dream such a thing? I know I willed the ideal coat into being, but even I would never dream that something I had loved and lost in seasons past would return. That's what I would consider to be an impossible dream. But I guess impossible dreams are still dreams.
Anyway, this is a wonderful thing that has happened, and I'm very happy for J.
But, I can't like to you guys. I'm also a little jealous. Because I have an impossible dream of my own.
Once, a few years ago, I tried on a shearling jacket at Scanlan and Theodore that was truly excellent. It cost something like $900, so when I tried it on, it was purely for the fun of it. It was never a genuine prospect. But I loved it quite a lot when I tried it on. Straight away, I loved it. I run a little cold you see, and the thought of wearing what is basically a lambskin akin to those babies lie on everyday was very appealing to me. But $900 is ridiculous, so I walked away.
But I think about that jacket often. More often than I'd like to admit to. And I've been to the Scanlan and Theodore outlet many times looking for it. I've scoured ebay. But it's gone forever. I've chalked it up as an impossible dream. But, um, dreams can come true so who knows how this story will eventually play out.

Sunday, October 5, 2014

Dreams can come true (AM)

While recently revisiting some of Miss Soft Crab's archive I saw this post about when K found her dream coat a couple winters ago. Remember? She and I had imagined the perfect coat for her and she basically found it the very next day, as if our very conversation had brought it into being. Of course I was happy for her and when I happened upon the post recently I wondered at the miracle that was finding that coat and, honestly, I felt a little jealous. Just at the thought of finding the item of your dreams. That happens once, maybe twice in a lifetime. Or maybe more, but not often. 

The winter after K bought that coat I rushed into a coat purchase of my own. It's a fine coat but certainly not one dreams are made of. So the question arises, how much thinking do you need to do before buying a thing?

Two summers ago I tried on a pair of bathers I was really hot for. I wanted a one piece because I only had a tatty one  and a bikini (I know, I can't believe me) but I wasn't sure if I could justify the purchase. This one piece was a great cut, nice colour, modest! Everything I was looking for, but they were $150 which is what nice bathers cost and well I thought on it too long and they passed me by. I went back and they were gone never to even see a sale rack. I thought about them often and as another summer approaches I've been wondering if I'd ever again meet a one piece I'd feel the same way about. I hoped búl, the brand of those lost bathers may provide something for me this year, but enquiries lead me to learn they were no longer doing swimwear. Woe was me. 

But then... I barely dare to speak these words...guess what opened on the weekend! A búl outlet store! Boy was I nervous when I went in and asked if they had swimwear. The answer was yes and I was more nervous still when I asked about one pieces and styles only to learn that the only ones they had were the very ones I searched for and the very price they cost was a measley $30!

K may have imagined a coat into being but I imagined some bathers back from the dead! Miracles can happen and fashion dreams really can come true!
 

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (PM)



I saw K and Appleheart the day after they got back and they seemed great! I was really impressed with how together they were but after an hour the yawns started and I could see the fades set in. I can't say I'm surprised that by today K is feeling so zapped. Yesterday I felt totally zapped myself. Constant yawning an inability to move, it strikes me like that some afternoons but then I rally, cook dinner, it passes. Not being jetlagged you forget what jetlag feels like. I guess it's like yesterday afternoon without the ability to rally so easily. So why don't we all take a load off, think about what we may do on the weekend and reconvene hear on Monday!

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (AM)



I'm back you guys, and more jet lagged than ever!
I wanted to write some things about how nice it is to be back, and how I'd forgotten how nice Melbourne smells in the springtime when the sun is shining and the flowers are blooming. And how the coffee is every bit as good as I remember. And about how cute Newbie is. You guys should see that kid! Happy as a pig in mud.
But I'm so zapped from the jet lag I can barely string a sentence together, so I'm just going to say hi and then be on my way.
I feel like this guy, but without the polar fleece to lie on, and without the people cooing over me.
Oh well. I'll be back on form next week for sure. Until then, readers!