Hair Peace (PM)

I'm so glad K addressed this issue. I've been meaning to ask her if she was on the semi-scrubs program and now I know. I'm seriously considering it myself but I just bought a 1-litre bottle of conditioner recently so WTF am I going to do with that?! Plus I think it is important to note that hormonally, and therefore hairmonally (HA!), K and I are in pretty different positions. I am 1-year post pregnancy and she is mid-pregnancy. If you don't know what it is like to be a year post-pregnancy let me tell you that a few months after giving birth all that hair you have retained falls out. And then, in its place, new hairs grow. New hairs that are in a substantially different place to the other hairs on your head. My friend L-bomb had her own baby a few months after Newbie was born. Late last week she texted me and we talked about this problem.

 

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it will take a lot more than no scrubs to help me. But word up for K for maximising her pregnancy hair. 

Four hours sleep is not enough (PM)

Whoa! Applying for a visa sounds just like being pregnant. In terms of sleep deprivation at least. For the last 8 months I have basically woken up at 4am every morning and then, if I'm lucky I may get back to sleep at 6 or 7 only to have to wake up within an hour for work or the demands of Baby. And if I'm unlucky, well Morpheus just seems to be too busy to give a shit about that.

Still at least I don't have to live with my parents anymore. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I mean we're really lucky that living with our parents is an option! 

Look, we've all heard visa horror stories, like the one where L-Bomb was meant to move home to Australia with her English husband before Christmas but then it turns out that it takes months and months for Australia to process marriage visas, even for the English. But for every horror story there is a success story, like how Mondonna had to come back to Australia a month after she'd holidayed here to get a working visa for USA and then bammo, despite her paperwork almost not being here on time she met with the embassy and was processed and legal no probs! Woot!

Wait, is this not helping? It's probably not helping. Look, I'm pretty sleep deprived ok, gimme a break. The point is everything will be just fine. Even in all the horror stories people end up getting the visa, so really worst case scenario is that the passport is return a couple of days late, you get to fully enjoy that wedding you're going to the night before you were meant to leave and you arrive in Wales after Appleheart has set up house nicely. 

By George, I thought I had it (AM)

You know on the whole, I kind of hate my hair. Every now and again I like it, and then I hate it again. Then I wash and dry it and I kind of like it again. On the bad days I fixate on getting a cut and colour, and while I do get cuts and that often helps a lot, it kind of is amazing how far a wash and blow dry will take it. And I am beginning to think that in a way this is like a metaphor for so many of my First World problems.

Recently I actually booked myself in to colour my hair, which I haven't done in many years, nowadays I go au naturel, but I just got obsessed. Anyways I was broke and nervous about starting the dye cycle so I just got my eyebrows tinted instead. I cannot recommend this highly enough. If you are anything like me you will look really pretty after it and it's about a fifth of the price of having your hair coloured.

Need new clothes? Do some washing! You wouldn't believe how often that alleviates my wardrobe woes! If that is not enough see if your mum has any clothes from the eighties that are cool again!

Check out this jumper I scored on the weekend:

SCORE!

This is pretty much my fall back plan whenever I want new stuff but don't want to buy anything. And I was pretty sure that my Mum's old shoe collection would yield some shoes for me to wear to Blizzie's wedding on the weekend. And it did.

This would be the perfect shoe to wear to the with my dress:

And this, although it looks boring, is actually a very comfortable and surprisingly fitting alternative:

Sweet.

Except for some reason only these shoes can be found. That is only that single purple shoe and that single brown shoe seem to exist. Their buddies are missing. On the up side that purple shoe is a lefty and the brown one is a righty so they do make a pair. On the  down side I'm not going to wear odd shoes to a wedding.* I don't want to look like a fucken' idiot.


*In fact it is highly unlikely I would wear odd shoes anywhere ever. This is not a weddings-only rule.

#firstworldproblems (PM)

Don't worry mate. Some days, having it all seems really hard. A shit-hot kit. 100% of meals that blow your mind. What are we, awesome robots? We're not awesome robots. But I do have three additional months of life experience than you do, so let me pass on some advice. If you really want to blow your mind, I recommend getting back to mother flipping basics.
Here are some little tips that work for me.
1. If I really don't know what the eff to wear, I just wear the nicest thing in my wardrobe. Or my red gingham shirt. Both are 100% success stories 100% of the time.
2. If I really don't know what to the eff to have for dinner, I just cook eggs. Do you know how easy it is to delishify an egg? It's like shooting fish in a barrel. The other night I had a deconstructed omelette.  I soft boiled some eggs then made a side of fried mushroom, chilli, spring onion and garlic, dressed with black vinegar, ginger and sesame oil, then sprinkled with toasted black sesame seeds. Effing delicious. Some nights I have straight up soft boiled eggs with toast soldiers and whatever chilli chutney Biggie Little has just made.
Simple as that matey.
Mind  =  Blown.
Effort = Minimal.
#justthewayilikeit

#firstworldproblems (AM)

A lot of the time I like to think about what I am going to eat throughout the day. Oftentimes even before breakfast I am thinking of what I am going to have for dinner. But some days, man, some days I just got nothing. I mean every day I eat a minimum of three meals. Every day I have to think of what I am going to eat for breakfast. Then lunch. Then dinner! Don't you ever get sick of it?
 
Same goes for dressing. I mean, a whole outfit every single day! Shit, sometimes I just can't be bothered.

And as someone who loves both food and clothes its hard, you know. It's hard to admit that sometimes my brain feels like a dried up husk when it comes to these things.

You think I don't know that I live in a privileged society where I have these things to complain about?! I know I do. That is why I want to get it right every time. I don't want to waste these opportunities to blow the mind out of my mouth. I don't want to not have a great kit, because frankly I don't think there is an excuse. You know?!

The other day as I was getting ready for work I said to LB, "What should I wear to work today?"He said, "Jeans and a shirt, like usual." Is this what I have become? For shame!

A couple of weeks ago I really started to feel the sting of this food-wise too. So I started really going into cookbooks, trying new things, putting in extra effort. It actually worked out great. Every night I was making these delicious new things. Every night I pretty much fucking nailed dinner. But it's like that could never last. I was living a lie. I can't go on like that forever! Cookbook meals day in and day out! Inventing things like fresh nachos! I'm just one person, people! What the eff am I going to make for dinner tonight?!