Thursday, September 29, 2016

High holy days (PM)

Congratulations on your support of the women's league mate! Even if you are only foundation member #86 and not 8 or 6.

Imagine a time when a women's sport generates enough excitement to demand a public holiday. If horses and men can do it, surely women can. (You know one day long after Eddie Maguire and anyone associated with The Footy Show and commentators that call women 'girls' die.)


#daretodream

High holy days (AM)

Look what came in the mail for me today. 
 
I'm very proud. But also disappointed that I wasn't in the top ten. Need to work harder in the preseason I guess. 
Happy grand final week everyone! Go dogs! 

Monday, September 26, 2016

Empire 2.0 (PM)

Fuck yeah, Queenie. You totally ruling the empire. That monochrome effect is in full flight.

If I were Kate Middleton I would feel so conflicted. Fashiowise I'd think I was basically given the perfect opportunity to dress monochrome for life! But then I'd also feel like I need to not start dressing like QEII while I was still a young woman and make my own style. And so I'd probably just dress in the fucked up jumble I do now. But maybe better, certainly more expensively. So word up K-Mids. Word up QEII!

Sunday, September 25, 2016

Empire 2.0 (AM)

The British empire ain't what it used to be. OR SO WE THOUGHT. 
I'm pretty sure that anyone who's seen any media coverage of the Prince William/Kate Middleton/baby George/baby Charlotte visit to Canada this weekend could not have failed to notice two things: Kate Middleton and Sophie Gregoire Trudeau (the woman who is married to Justin Trudeau) wearing monochrome. 

I bet QEII looked at that and thought FUCK YES I still rule Brittania and I rule it one goddamned colour at a time. 



Friday, September 23, 2016

Questions of the week (PM)

People sure do seem crazy when their opinions are reported in the news. Neither love nor money could make me give up my sense of smell. Or the other ones, for that matter. I'm equally attached to all of them. It was my sense of smell that told me I had to get off the tram and find a toilet pronto when I had that bout of gastro coming on a few weeks ago. Someone was eating hot chips in the tram and I found it repulsive. I didn't need a Samsung Galaxy tablet to tell me that's not normal. 
As for Brangelina, I guess it's sad for them. But I'm curious to see who Brad dates next. My dream is that Winona Ryder's wave of Stranger Things success includes a little Brad Pitt phase. 
Wouldn't that be great? 

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Questions of the week (AM)

This week I've been asking myself some deeply scientific questions. 

You know how sometimes species evolve really quickly, like over only a few generations? Do you think the human nesting urge could have evolved to include an urge to go to Ikea? I'm pretty sure that after maternity hospitals Ikea has the highest concentration of pregnant women in Melbourne and suspect that is probably true if Ikeas around the world. Scientists, can evolution work this quickly?

Are people really as fucked as polls would have us believe. Yesterday ABC radio was reporting that 49% of people surveyed said they believed Muslim immigration to Australia should be stopped. Wtf is wrong with people?! But on a similar note Catalyst said the other night that more people would prefer to leave their sense of smell than access to technology. Then they showed a few vox pops to support this. I don't know about the science of either of these surveys so I'm dubious. But having had barely any sense of smell this week can I resoundingly say what I would have said regardless: without smell you are so disconnected fir your surroundings and experiences.  Smell is a mammalian (and other creature) sense. Evolutionarily developed. For a reason. To give up an inherent sense for technology?!?! Wtf is wrong with people??!?

Apparently Brangelina have actually broken up. Can you believe it!?*

*actually I'm not that surprised and I don't care at all but I thought while we're asking questions we may as well go here. 




Monday, September 19, 2016

Losing the battle (PM)

I'm losing the battle too. Work has gotten really busy all of a sudden! And I dont know what I'm going to have for dinner! 
Let's hope we can all pull it together for Thursday. 

Sunday, September 18, 2016

Losing the battle (AM)

I'm sorry guys but I'm just being honest when I say you may as well avoid MSC's AM posts this week. Not only am I riddled with cramps and the attendant terror that any time I could be in labour I've also got some terrible sinus pain that makes my face ache so much it even hurts to smile. And I'm so tired that I need a post lunch nap every day just so I can function even remotely like a human.

On top of that it's so cold. I mean sure Saturday was beautiful but my memory is short and life right now feels like hell.

I should revisit last week's Thursday post and celebrate the good things. OR turn this Monday into a Terrific Tuesday or something. But I can't.

Look, I'll try and improve things by Thursday. The weather does not look like it will cooperate. But if my sinuses improve I feel optimistic. But I guess we'll see how it goes.

And let's remember Saturday really was nice. Except for my stupid sinuses.


Thursday, September 15, 2016

Good times (PM)

Sometimes it really does feel like the universe is putting it all together for you. I remember thinking about my car, which is my dream car, and how owning it really made me feel super lucky. So it's no surprise K is feeling so great right now.

I'd like to feel like everything is coming up J too but after being woken up before 6am and having to deal with two super grumpy children ever since, it's hard. I even made pancakes for breakfast, partly because there was no milk in the house and I do this delicious thing when that happens and we have limited breakfast choices where I add yoghurt and orange juice to the pancake batter and they are delicious. Anyway I thought pancakes may make the complaining go away but instead Baby just whinged that he only wanted one pancake instead of the two I put on his plate.

But sheesh, things could be a lot worse. So I guess it may be good to just try and appreciate that really my life is full of good times despite the niggling shit. Like in a few weeks I'll be wearing jeans again. Hopefully. I'm pretty sure I have one pair I'll be able to fit in to and that will be the sweetest.

Baby is sick home from school today which means I don't have to wake up Newbie and rush out the house at 3:15 for the pickup.

I still haven't watched Stranger Things but plan too so that is exciting.

Things are great!


Good times (AM)

On my commute to work I pass some graffiti that says "why does the universe always conspire to make my dreams come true?". Now I don't go in for that hippy nonsense but it does make me think a little bit about the good stuff that happens all the time. 

For example...

We have a new car and I love it so much. It's my dream car, basically. Everything in it works and you don't elbow your passenger when you're trying to put your belt on which seems innocuous but is actually very annoying. 

KB is really getting into the narrative of Hairy Maclairy. He gets very excited as the Scarface Claw bit approaches and then gets a little scared when he actually sees Scarface Claw. It's very cute.

I just watched all of Stranger Things and of course I loved it. But the best thing about it is Winona Ryder is back and she's fantastic. I love her so much. 

Good times you guys. 

Monday, September 12, 2016

I don't get it (PM)

Wow! Yesterday I was walking back from the park when I found myself behind a couple who were both wearing sleeveless puffers! Of course I noticed! And thought about it the whole time I was walking behind them. For a bunch of reasons, including the facts that they  were wearing the same kind of outerwear and that said outerwear was sleeveless puffers. 

Having said that LB and I both own the exact same black MacPac puffers which we have been seen to wear simultaneously. And in my early twenties I was known to wear a sleeveless parka or two, but that was the nineties/early naughties and I was wearing great seventies style ones. So who the fuck knows what possesses a couple to pull out there black sleeveless puffers and walk down the street. Who the fuck knows.

I'll tell you what I do know! I love this headline I saw on the website Toronto Life earlier today 



I don't get it (AM)


Yesterday I was driving through South Yarra and I saw a young couple taking their pet lab for a walk. They were very well groomed, very South Yarra  and looked like they might, in a different time and place, have been friends with Patrick Bateman (obviously that time and place is the land of make believe). The thing that struck me about them was that they were both wearing sleeveless puffer jackets - in itself not unusual but effing baffling to me. 
I can not for the life of me understand puffer vests. I can not see how a cold that drives one to warm their core with puffer would not also require a warming of the arms. I don't know how people can find peace in a sleeveless puffer. Aren't they forever yearning for the arms? 
I don't get it. I don't get it at all. 
I'm pretty sure this couple couldn't have told me because they looked  like the types to make all sorts of decisions based on style rather than comfort. Perhaps I'm wrong about them but when you're making judgements based on a two second glimpse out a car window, you tend to draw on stereotypes. Anyway, if style is their motivation them I guess that's fine but as someone who looks to puffer for survival, an armless one just looks like a bastardisation of all that is good about puffer. Down with sleeveless! 

Thursday, September 8, 2016

Here we go again (PM)

Love sure is hard. And it's especially hard when it's your first time. There's this new girl at my work who just moved to Melbourne from Canberra. Winters in Canberra can be very cruel and long and by comparison, Melbourne winter seems manageable, so she told me. She seems kind of naive and optimistic and so I didn't want to discourage her by telling her that the trick to surviving a Melbourne winter is to tell yourself it lasts until November. That way the springy Spring  days seem like a delightful bonus as opposed to the hallmark of a season that keeps writing cheques it can't keep. She turned up at work on Wednesday in a sleeveless dress all giddy and grinning. I felt like I was watching someone falling in love for the first time with a person I happen to know is a total jerk. I still can't quite bear to tell it to her straight. You just have to learn these things for yourself. 
Good luck, new kid. 

Here we go again (AM)

I know that spring is the most fickle of mistresses. And I know that the forecast for tomorrow suggests there'll be 40mm of rain. But it's weeks like these you understand why people stick around with  fickle mistresses. I mean all the promise and delight spring makes you feel. Even though you know that after tomorrow this kind of sunshine and warmth may disappear for weeks on end, the sweet floral scents may be nothing but a tease of a promise on a cold wind, right now all you can think about is spring's beauty and how good it makes you feel when it's around. Sheesh. Love's hard. 

Monday, September 5, 2016

It's the little things (PM)

Groaning and waddling are the definitive experiences of the eighth month pregnancy. 

But I remember J saying to me "You know how uncomfortable everything is right now? How rolling over in bed is impossible and puffy your ankles are and how it's all encompassing? Well all of that just goes away as soon as the baby's out. You can sleep on your tummy again!" 

And then there's these little things! 


It's the little things (AM)

I had a pretty busy weekend. That is I spent all weekend organising then having then coming drown from Baby's 3-month late birthday party. As a result my body is quite sore, as if I'd done a big run or some new kind of exercise except it's just from trying to operate like a normal adult. It's pretty disheartening. But it's really making me look forward to having my baby. Of course I'm looking forward to meeting my baby but I'm also really looking forward to:

Walking without a waddle
Moving from a standing to sitting position (or vice versa) without involuntarily groaning. Really loudly. 
Wearing my jeans
Beer

It's the little things. 

Now excuse me while I pass out. But not without groaning loudly first. 

Thursday, September 1, 2016

Haiku Thursday (PM)

Notes on proximity
The proximity
To my due date makes me long
For pregnancy's end

Back pain, tiredness
Mass irritability 
Fuck this fucking shit

Haiku Thursday (AM)


At any given
Time I'm always close to a
Bowl of baby mush

Proximity seems
To make baby mush appear
Very appealing.