Sunday, October 19, 2014

Clothes: where to from here (AM)

I've been going through something of a crisis of confidence clotheswise. That is to say that any time I wear anything other than my jeans and sweater uniform I basically come out a hot mess. This is worsened by the fact that most of my jeans have ripped knees so even in my jeans I'm pretty much a disaster. My poor fat knees looking for freedom. I turned one pair of torn jeans into shorts, like I'm living in some past millennium. Basically, wardrobe-wise, I'm fucked. 

I've been wondering if the way to remedy this is to throw my current conceptions of my own personal style out the window. In fact I seem to have unwittingly already done this as I seem to have lost all semblance of personal style.  I told K recently I was considering a more femme look for summer, inspired by this lady (from 

But I don't even know if that's true. 

I want to start wearing skirts but I hate all mine which I've owned for ever and worn to death and bought in a different fashion climate. 

The other day I tried on a pair of leggings. White leggings with blue and purple splatters. I hate the colour purple. But  I loved the leggings. Of course I selfied myself in the mirror and pretty promptly sent the picture to Pickle. And spent the rest of the day looking longingly at the picture. Loving those leggings and wondering what the fuck was happening to me. 

Eventually, as I was staring at the picture, I got a message from Pickle: Do it! They're awesome!

What followed was a pretty exciting text exchange with me saying things like: 
I can't stop looking at them/thinking about them. I think I'm going to get them but I don't know what I'll do with them. 

I'm thinking about turning my whole wardrobe on it's head starting with those leggings. I don't know how to wear my clothes any more I may as well start over. 

And Pickle saying things like:
Fashion has changed more in the last year than it has in about 10 years... Things are really sporty again. Like Aths, not skater. It's like all the things we have considered outrageous are actually what we want to wear right now: socks and sandals, leggings, crop tops... It's Opposite Fashion/Fashion Opposite.

I am very drawn to leopard print. I've tried to embrace it.

My god! I felt so alive, so sure of my fashion future. I knew what had to be done and I knew it would begin with those leggings. I didn't know what would happen next but I felt ready to jump into the abyss. 

And then I went to bed. I guess this is what they mean by 'sleep on it'. Because boy did everything look different the next day. Buy those crazy white leggings? Who do I think I am?! Yeah I want them, but really would I wear them out in the world?

I have been really confused. And I still am. 

On Saturday I went shopping with K and Legsly and while I kept being drawn to sweaters I told them how I felt like I should resist the sweater. How I thought it was time to start anew, but when they asked why I couldn't really say. I hate my clothes but should I really move away from the clothes I'm attracted to. Maybe I love sweaters and jeans because they are awesome. And because they suit me. Maybe I just need to add some skirts to the mix. Maybe I should replace my falling-apart jeans. Maybe these simple steps will make me feel well dressed again. Maybe I can throw those wack leggings somewhere in there too. 

Oh I don't have all the answers but I'm pretty sure this is going to be one crazy summer.  

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