You know, I love food and cooking and talking about those things as much as the next person. Have you even read this blog? Lord knows you could ask any of my friends and all will tell you how I have bored them time and again with "stories" of things I made for dinner last night. (I'm sorry friends, I try to stop myself but I just can't!) But this sensation sweeping the nation, you know of food and cooking worship and wankery, it has got to stop!
The other day I was at a cafe and one of the items on the menu was "twice-shelled broad bean something". Do you know how many times you have to shell a broad bean to make it edible? Two times. And for those of you not mathematically minded that is the same as twice. I guess the kitchen decided that they should advertise this twice-shelled fact to appeal to a certain type of person. They should have called it 'adequately-shelled broad bean whatever'. That, at least would have
In case this wasn't indicative enough that things had gone too far there was no doubt left in my mind when I walked past Books for Cooks recently and had the displeasure of seeing a huge window display for a food magazine called Fool. Oh, not familiar with it? It looks like this:
|"Food, insanity, brilliance & love" What? Seriously, what?!?|
Enough said, right?
Please! It's enough to put me off my food. Of course I was so repulsed I had Google it immediately. It was then I discovered it was Swedish, which almost made me forgive it the ridiculous cover, stupid name and overall awfulness. I thought I would have to use all my will power to continue hating on it, but then I got to the website.
Fool, the website tells us, is, "A cutting edge magazine on modern gastronomy and food culture. Fool is different from other 'food magazines' taking inspiration from fashion, design and culture. Visual. Thrilling. Made in Scandinavia."
I don't care if English is their second language, come on dudes, get a little subtlety.
One review, I read which claimed Fool "blew [their] socks off" wrote a whole paragraph about the magazine without actually saying anything about it at all.
Look, this isn't a science, I can't tell you what upset me so much about that magazine. Yes, it's the ridiculous name. The font. Ugh. And definitely, definitely the guy on the cover (Magnus Nilsson - a Swedish chef. He's so hot right now!) All I know is I hate it and it's making me hate food.*
*Not really I could never hate food, I just wanted to end with some drama.