Tuesday, July 10, 2012

An open letter to Andy Murray (AM)

Dear Andy Murray, 

I'm really sorry about the Wimbledon thing the other night. You really are a very good tennis player but you seem to find it extremely difficult to win grand slam finals, especially those that are against Roger. 

I bet you sometimes wish you hadn't been born at the same time as Roger. Wish you didn't have to see that perfect ball placement. Wish you didn't have to bear witness to his power and his grace. Because it must be said, Andy Murray, if it weren't for Roger, Rafa probably wouldn't be Rafa, Djokovic wouldn't be Djokovic and you Andy Murray - you would probably be number one. But instead, fate had you born and born with a gift for tennis in the same era as the Roger, the best tennis player that ever has been and ever will be. It's a tough break Andy Murray, and I feel for you. But check it out, Andy Murray: to hep you get through this difficult time, I have prepared a list of things that I think you are better at than Roger. Perhaps you will look at it from time to time, and perhaps it will provide some consolation to you during these times. 

1. Having a lovely accent.
Andy Murray, You have a really nice accent. I actually have no interest in hearing Roger speak, but I could listen to you all night long. Everyone loves a Scottish accent and that's exactly what yours is: Scottish. It must be nice to sound so nice, Andy Murray. Don't bother asking the Roger what it feels like - he wouldn't have a clue!
2. Looking really handsome when you smile
It's the elephant in the room, but I'm going to come out and say it. Roger looks a bit weird when he smiles. Does he have a slight underbite or something maybe? 

It's weird. right?

I'm not sure what the problem is, but there's something a but wrong with it I think. Not you, Andy Murray. You look really handsome when you smile. See?

Just jokes. 

There you go, Andy Murray. Nice and handsome. Roger wishes he looked like that when he smiles (maybe he does, I'm not sure). 

3. Being lanky
Andy Murray, as a young Scottish man, you are very lanky and that's quite nice.

Roger can not look lanky to save his life. 

Nothing lanky about that, am I right?
But you, Andy Murray, you nail  it, my lanky brother!

Having said that, you don't look terribly lanky in that picture, but I have it in my mind that you are lanky, so lets just go with that shall we.

Speaking of my mind, it doesn't seem to want to recall further areas where you perform better than Roger.
But I'm sure there are heaps and heaps. These are just three. And three out of four ain't bad! Its actually quite good, because Meatloaf tells us that two out of three ain't bad, so the logical next verse would be and "three out of four is quite good".

Good luck at the Olympics!

Love from K

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