Yum things! (AM)

You know, K and I love to cook. To try new things, make classics - we love it all. And we are pretty good at it. Why shouldn't you guys benefit from that? But it has been really hot lately. And I was on holidays. I have made about three real dinners in the last 2 weeks.

Dinners I have eaten in the last week include:

Pizza
A salad sandwich
Indian takeaway
The tiniest amount of left over Indian takeaway to which I added a boiled egg



It's getting pretty desperate. But the lunches are worse. Some days I just eat a carrot. But yesterday I did something special. Really special. The hippy version of peanut butter and Nutella, nut spread and coconut chocolate butter. But far from being some pale imitation, the spread equivalent of carob to chocolate, this was the richest, creamiest deliciousest way to spread things on a bread.

Now I keep thinking about other things I could spread this combo on. Pancakes! Banana bread! Probably putting both these things on anything but the plainest old bread is unneccesary, but I like to think of the possibilities. Probably making salted caramel brownies is unnessary too but check out these bad boys. I can not wait to make the hell out of them. Gonna eat 'em too!

These are the insights I have when I'm running (PM)

This is the view from my run this morning. My longest run yet!

It's true, the Misses Soft Crab are running our little hearts out (not literally I hope). Running our little butts off (a little bit literally would be fine).  And sometimes I have insights too. Mostly, though, I just have some random thoughts.

Insights include things like:

It is easier when I have a better posture!

Cee Lo Green makes great running music!

This New Stretchy Men's Chesty from Bonds that I am wearing is the perfect running top the way it is more sleeveless t-shirt than singlet!*

I don't think I'm going to run all the ks I was hoping to.

Don't think about running.

Running along the Elwood Canal is not like running along an Amsterdam canal. A thing I did one time but like to pretend I did a bunch of times.

Elwood canal. It's ok I guess.

Random thoughts include things like:

When will the...

So hot...

Water...

I love running...

I wonder how much money I have in the bank.

Running is hard!


*I run in this top often. It looks like this.

But I don't look exactly like that in it. Firstly, mine is navy of course, second that guy is way buffer than me, third, that guy is a guy, fourth the sex difference makes the top sit less singlet-like.The women's version is way more singletty and I wouldn't recommend it for running. At least not to K.
 

These are the insights I have when I'm running (AM)

Did you know that the Misses Soft Crab took up running recently? It's true. Actually, it's not entirely true. The J-Crab has been doing it on and off for years. But I have never done it before. So I guess what I mean to say is "Did you know that I took up running recently, but J has been doing it for ages?" The truth can be so boring.  

Anyway, we've both been running lately. 

It's true what they say about running making you feel like a million bucks. Obviously while I'm doing it I want to puke a lot of the time. But afterwards, and not long afterwards, I feel like a million bucks. And the feeling lasts and lasts. 

And sometimes during the run, I have some moments of clarity that lead to super insights. Like these things, which I thought about this morning:

Shoulders are really important for personal temperature regulation!*

To all the groups of friends walking three abreast on the Princes Park running track - don't!^ 

Dogs who let their tongues hang out the sides of their mouths when they are running look so goofy!#

The rest of the time I just want to puke. 

*I roll up the sleeves of my K t-shirt when I'm running. I expose those shoulders of mine like a hipsterish gentleman exposes his ankles. At first I rolled them up because I thought it made me look tough. Then I realised that when the sleeves fall down and that tiny little bit of t-shirt material covers my upper arms, I steam up like the glass on the front of a bain-marie. So now I think I should get a sleeveless k t-shirt. If anyone sees one, please email me. 

^I guess this isn't an insight, it's just something I think. Groups of friends walking abreast on a running track may be having a lovely conversation, but please, consider the runners. Do you know how hard it is to find the energy to speed up to overtake you guys? Its really hard. Please don't make me do it. 

#

Am I right?

It's cool (PM)

I find this picture cooling.

But also, confusing. Apparently one of the bears is a reflection in ice. Really? How does that work?!
I've got no hope of understanding it in this weather.

It's cool (AM)

If you've been here before, I don't have to tell you that we have a pretty tenuous grasp on quality writing, and shit you guys it's been over 30 degrees for days now. That means that: a) my house is really hot; and b) I have not done any productive supermarket shopping because I can't figure out what to eat in this heat. Therefore, a+b=I am so hot and hungry. All I can think of is eating and cooling. In the interest of that, I have this for us all:

Just some shades I created using a really great program called Paint. HAHA. I hate you, Paint, but thanks for allowing me these cooling colours. Don't you think it is a little bit mind-bending how visuals can just change your feeling. Although I wish I'd thought about this yesterday when I went for a run in the stupid heat. I think thinking of things like this may have helped:

Oh yeah.

Don't thank me. Just enjoy it.

An account of my second solo bike ride (PM)

Say, that’s a nice bike.

Although our reader, Miss Dizzy, makes some excellent points about the proud history of drug cheating in cycling and hence the appropriateness of the name Delilah, I have to say that as soon as I saw a picture of your bikey I thought she should be called Maybel. I don’t know why it just happened in my brain like that. According to a random baby names website I just looked at the name Maybel means lovable. !!!.

How good is a morning bike ride. I love the way riding a bike is fast and wheel-based but you are outside, like walking. It makes me miss the days when a home conveniently located to everything meant I rode everywhere. I should start riding to work. But I really need a new bike. But I am broke. But, hey, let’s not bring this day down. I'm gonna go eat a sandwich and forget about my troubles. WOOT!

An account of my second solo bike ride (AM)

I got a bike for my birthday. 

This is what it looked like in the darkness yesterday morning, when I got up early to take it for what was only my second ever solo bike ride. 

Hard to see, sure. But the main thing you need to take from this photo is that it is very beautiful. 

By way of background, I should probably mention that the fact that this was only my second solo bike ride is not because I insist on riding in a peloton. No. It's that I didn't know how to ride a bike until, well, about two weeks ago. 

But now I have some rudimentary bike riding skills. And my very own bike, a bike so lovely it makes you want to take it out every day of the week and twice on Sundays. So that's why I took her out for my second ever solo bike ride yesterday morning. 

It was a beautiful still morning, and the balloons were up.  

After a shaky start, I found some rhythm and decided I would take her all the way to the park. This meant crossing Glenlyon and Brunswick Roads. I know! I was acting crazy!

But readers, I crossed those roads, I crossed them good.  And as cars and other cyclists overtook me, I felt like they couldn't even tell that I barely have the first clue how to ride a bike. Those suckers were none the wiser! Geez it felt nice. And the feeling of the wind fanning my face and rustling whatever hair was sticking out of my  Melbourne bike share scheme $5 helmet... well. It was enough to make me pull over and take this photo of my bike because I was loving it so much. 

The other reason I stopped was because there was a 'For Lease' sign blocking my way and I really had no idea how to negotiate it. Pick up your 'For Lease' signs, Nelson Alexander! 

I crossed Lygon Street. I peddled down Canning Street.  I rode along the bike path back towards Lygon street and even had to stop at the lights where all the people on bikes have to stop at the lights!

Score!

I eventually returned home and discovered that Moreland's garbologists had been and left the bins strewn along the footpath in that way they like to do it. Lucky for me, because how pretty does my bike look alongside the yellow of their lids? 

I love you new bike. Now if only I knew what to call you.
She has a working title of 'Delilah' because she is from a place called Samson Cycles. But I don't feel good about naming her after a biblical double-crosser.
I like that she is so white. Can we find a name that relates to how beautiful and white she is?
J?
Chickpea?
Anyone else?
Please direct your suggestions to misssoftcrab@gmail.com

I'm not kidding you guys, please help me. 

In praise of holidays (PM)

Yeah, holidays rule.

I think this boat we saw near Hobart on our last holiday said it best.

But home is lovely too.
Sometimes it looks like this:

And that's pretty nice.
And Pickle is on board for a picnic of sorts after work tomorrow night, so that will be nice?

In praise of holidays (AM)

How good are holidays?! Mine is basically over now. By the time you read this I will be sitting in a car for a day-long drive. But last night, my holiday's last night, I was just reflecting on how good holidays are. Sure this may be a stupid, self-evident statement, but, sheesh, I've been on holidays, my brain is in a weird place right now. 

Last night, after a day at the zoo and a good run along Sydney Harbour and a refreshing shower I just felt pretty damn good and reflected on this as we went out for dinner.  Holidays aren't all beer and skittles of course. On this one Baby has been sick, we didn't get to go to Wet 'n' Wild, and we had to eat two meals at a small-town bowling club within 48 hours. One of which took about 2 hours  between ordering and serving and both of which pretty much tasted of wilted mushy nothing. And I lost a shoe. A favourite shoe. But! We saw two adorable cuteheads get married, spent lots of time with beloved people, got sun, surf and sand, went to a zoo where you can look at bongos and with the turn of a head see the Sydney Harbour Opera Bridge, and ate a frozen banana. Imagine if those things happened at home. It would probably feel like a normal week with a couple of highlights, but on holiday it feels like a really great holiday! Like all the annoying things didn't exist and a great holiday has just been had. 

I don't know you guys, I just feel like this holiday thing maybe something special. 

Gifts from the Internet (PM) (or WTF? Wednesday)

Well I have to say I am floored by this morning's post. Firstly, WTF? We don't have to blog about food on our designated food day?

Secondly, WTF is with the jumpers on ponies? I mean putting a cardigan on a pony is one thing but the bit where they sew the jumper on! Those bitches are serious about dressing them ponies!

Thirdly, I really want to go to Scotland now. 

Gifts from the internet (AM)

Today I am meant to be talking about food, because Wednesday is going to be the day Miss Soft Crab talks about food from now on. But instead I am just going to show you this because I must, I really must.

I'm so sure that the people behind this clip of shetland ponies wearing fair isle jumpers are a couple of dames just like J and I, who thought it would be funny to put on their blog.
I'm so glad they did!

An open letter to the Universe (PM)

Dear Universe, 

Hey girl.

I only have one question for you today. How come avocados are so expensive at the moment? They are really expensive! This one cost $3 at the market.  And they are even more expensive - $4.50 each - at the IGA express near my house. What happened, girl?

Also, if you want to help J win tattslotto, she can have half of whatever I win with the ticket Mum and Dad gave me last night if you like. Might make things easier.

Ok, bye for now, friend.

Love from K

An open letter to the universe (AM)

Dear Universe,

I noticed that my hair looks really good today and it just got me wondering, how come some days it looks good and other days when I do seemingly the exact same things it doesn’t look so good. I know drying time and humidity play a role but it just seems kind of random and unfair, or, as Baby says, it’s not fur.

I also noticed, while watching the tennis over the summer and someone decided to show a close up of Serena Williams’ thigh (WTF, patriarchy?!) that girlfriend has some cellulite.  That is totally not fur! If SeWil has it, what the hell hope is there for the rest of the world.

Also, Universe, I’ve been wondering how it is decided who wins Tattslotto? And is there any way we could work something out?

And while we’re talking, do you think you could help me out with finding some serious direction? Like, I want to do something interesting and challenging and, preferably, lucrative. Do you have any suggestions?

Also, could you just do me a solid and let me know if it is right of me to think things will basically just work out. I mean, right now things are fine and I assume that I can make some life choices and things will continue to be fine, is that cool Universe, are things going to be fine?

Thanks, Universe.

Love

J

My phoney life (PM) (or I suck big time)

Great photos mate. I especially love the explosive snake. Natch. But that Niagra Falls nonalcoholic water beer...get the hell out of here with that. 

So usually I do not like to admit my idiocy  or lack of preparation but frankly, this time I see no way around it. I only have iThings for my blogging and to upload photos you need a certain app and to download apps you need to be in a town with more than one bar of data access so sorry guys I got bubkas. If I was more prepared I could show you a really artful photo of Pickle I took through  streamers at a wedding on the weekend or the adorable country church said wedding took place in. I've got bush turkeys and XXXX signs and this morning I took a photo of World Wide Web and pickle and then a goant goanna! But you ain't seen nothing yet. And you ain't gonna. Sorry!

Also sorry about the fucked up font situation. I promise everything will be fixed by tomorrow.