For the last few weeks the GOOP Instagram has been saying things like "Feeling effing exhausted? Sign up to be the first to hear about GOOP Wellness!" And of course yes! Whenever I see that I am feeling effing exhausted and because I don't want to be so tired I kept almost signing up until I remembered: a) whatever GOOP Wellness would be I couldn't afford it; b) it would be a crock of shit; and c) I'd find out about it on Instagram probably mere moments after those who'd signed up at their urging. Sure enough last Thursday, Instagram revealed that for a mere $90 for a month's worth of tablets I could feel thin OR less anxious OR less tired OR less stressed. But not all of those things unless I want to pay $360 a month because all those feelings come in different doctor-designed tablets. It may be worth I though because you'd possibly look like this:
Or at least feel that smug. But despite thinking it's all a crock I also want to buy these supplements because I do want to be less tired, more thin, manage everything, feel better. On reflection though I think that rather than having Gwyneth's supplements I'd be better off with her bank balance because I'm pretty sure that having a nanny and a personal assistant and therefore the time to do Tracy Anderson Method five times a week I would probably feel thinner and less tired and manage everything better (via my personal assistant). Not that you need riches to achieve these things but if we're looking for quick fixes it seems like a good one. And nobody ever got rich by buying $90 supplements. So go screw Goop Wellness.