Didn't take long to find out.... (PM)

Oh, brother. And people are worried about the state of education in this country.

It just so happens that last night I watched a program in which Ewan McGregor went into remote areas of the Congo on a child-vaccinating mission. Perhaps he could turn his attention homeward and help vaccinate his people against stupidity. 

Didn't take long to find out.... (AM)

Just like the Guardian's film editors, I think the fewer words spoken about this, the better. But be sure to watch it with the sound on.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/video/2013/mar/04/walrus-spotted-north-scotland-video

A few phone calls, a bit of research...and the fact that it looks exactly like a mother flipping walrus, but never mind that.

Cheese! (PM)

Oh baby. Cheese! is right.
I barely go a day without cheese. I guess that's bad, from a cholesterol intake point of view. But from the point of view that life is precious and miraculous and tomorrow is promised to no one, I can not see the sense in a day without cheese. Take cheese away from a day and what do you get? A bad day, that's what.

I guess that's part of the reason I recently spent a lot of my dollars buying Tasmanian cheese on the internet recently.  Remember last year when Miss Soft Crab went to Hobart? Remember how we went to the Bruny Island Cheese Company for a little snack? Well those fine people have a Cheese Club, where they offer a bunch of cheeses that are particularly good at that particular time for sale to club members. Then they deliver them to your door. To your door!* Or your workplace's door, if, like me, you want to make sure that the cheese stays cold after delivery because you spent a lot of money on that cheese and goddamn it, you want to make sure it gets looked after. If you like cheese, I'm pretty sure you will like it when you get a call from the woman at reception saying "there is a very ripe smelling delivery for you waiting at reception".

So right now, I have all of this in my fridge, waiting for the night (next week, hopefully...Chickpea, are you free?) that J, Chickpea and I will have a little cheese eating/Hobart remembering salon at my house.

You can read all about them, and join the club, here.

Also, just because I like cheese so much, I also have these in the house at the moment. Cheddar, cayenne and spring onion biscuits.

I made them on Saturday because I had a bunch of cracker barrel in the fridge and I wanted to consume it quickly and efficiently to make may for the Bruny Island cheeses. In my experience, if you want to eat something quickly and efficiently, put it in a biscuit.

After writing this, and taking that photo, I have two less of those biscuits.

Cheese!




*Writing that makes me think of the Paul Kelly song To Her Door, which makes me picture a bunch of cheeses in a box singing that song as they wing their way towards their cheese loving homes and it's a nice thing to think about.

Cheese! (AM)

Cheese!

I love it so much, I actually don’t know where to begin. I guess maybe I wasn't eating much of it for a while. And recently I have been eating it a bit more. I don't know, all I know is that if I had really thought about things yesterday I could have told you that what I am really loving right now is cheese.

Last night I made a caprese salad, or insalata caprese as the Italians would say. The mozzarella I used wasn’t fancy or anything, just from the supermarket, but still it was delicious. Cheese!

For David’s birthday I bought him a jar of stilton.

But on one of the many occasions I was carrying it to work for a lunch date we were meant to have I dropped the jar. I didn’t realise it had broken until David unwrapped it. It only seemed right to buy him a new, unbroken jar. Which means that I now have a broken jar of stilton in my fridge. I guess I’ll have to eat it. Cheese!

On Sunday night I made a delicious salad of mint, coriander and beetroot. It was really good, but you know what would have made it better? A little feta. Preferably a marinated goats one. Cheese!

You know what I plan to snack on today? Cheddar, butter and cruskits. Did you know that this combination makes it feel like you are eating cheezels?! In the best possible way. CHEESE!

Cheese. Is there anything it can’t do? 

Things we're loving right now (PM)

I'm a little loathe to say this, but I actually learnt about that Aesop geranium body scrub from a magazine telling me what they were loving right now. Actually it was more of a 'Slough off those old scaly skin cells for spring' special showcasing body exfoliants costing $100. And at that price why wouldn't you buy one for every bathroom in the house. But that Aesop one is considerably cheaper than $100. And it makes your skin so soft and it smells so good. I'd tell you about something else I am loving right now but mostly I just love this stuff. And I do love to follow up a good scrub with the geranium leaf moisturiser. While we are on this stuff, can I just recommend taking a small child with you when you go into Aesop, because every time I do that I end up with the best samples. Last time I went to buy my body scrub I Baby got a 50ml bottle of the geranium leaf body cleanser. Sure, the guy may have given it to Baby to use as bubble bath, but it's not my fault we don't have a bath. So now in between the scrub days I get to use the body cleanser, meaning I pretty much get to smell great all the time. 

So I am just loving all the Aesop geranium leaf things I have.

Things we're loving right now (AM)

You know how on some blogs, or in magazines back in the times when they were a thing, there is a post or a page called something like Things we're loving right now that showcases a bunch of products that the authors are loving fully sick? And often those things will be something like a $100 candle or $200 hat? And it will say something like
"We are OBSESSED with the new lip gloss from Wherever....the luscious texture and subtle shades...  it's a must-have for those lazy summer afternoons...at $50 a pop you'll want one in every colour!"
Yeah, I hate them too.
But this morning, in the shower, I was using the stuff I use in the shower and it smells so nice and makes my skin feel so nice that I felt compelled to write about how much I love it.

Here it is.

The Aesop geranium leaf body scrub. J put me on to it a while ago. It smells lovely and has little bits of pumice in it so it feels kind of rough when it goes on the skin. But kind of invigorating, like when you get your hair brushed at the hairdresser and they go a little bit hard, but once they get all the knots out you think "yes, this is good for me". It feels like that. And afterwards your skin feels as soft as marshmallow.
But really it's the smell that really does it. Somehow light and fresh and deep and musky at the same time. Who knew that a nuff nuff flower like the Geranium would have a leaf that if put through what I can only assume is some pretty intensive processing, would smell this great.

Nuff Nuff geraniums in a pot. 

This guy? You think this guy knew? There's no way. No one knew! But it does, and now Aesop package that stuff up in to pleasantly shaped and styled vessels and I for one am very glad about that.

So that's the thing I'm loving right now. And I'm sure this goes without saying, but this is absolutely not a paid advertisement.  Are you kidding? I would love Aesop to pay Miss Soft Crab to use their products. Instead, we pay them. I'm just telling you because I really do love this stuff. And when I back it up with the geranium leaf moisturiser, I basically feel like I'm on top of life, and maybe living the kind of life that belongs in a magazine.

Acrostic Monday (PM)

Nice to see you again, acrostic Monday!

Petal of violet

Interior of fig

No other colour's blush 

Knows my heart more.

Acrostic Monday (AM)

                                                My heart may belongs to blue. But

                                                 I have room in my heart for others

                                                No, mint, you could never replace navy

                                                Truth is as a colour your delighful, as a herb, sublime

On this day (PM)

March 1! The day the begins my favourite season – fashion wise at least. I love Autumn in all the ways, but I love Spring and Summer in so many ways too, so who knows what my actual favourite season is.

You know what else happened on this day in history? Ron Howard was born. Also Javier Bardem. And the Salem witch trials began*. But not in that order.

It’s true that Pope B.diddy turned in his badge yesterday, but according to a guy I heard on the radio yesterday he is not in fact returning to Joey Ratzinger. (Or as the kids called him in primary school, Stinky Joey Rat-slinger**). Apparently the ruling Catholics have decided to use the US president rule where guys that used to be presidents still get called Mr President even though they are not presidents anymore. Suck it up guys. Move on. Anyway, B.diddy gets to keep his pope name, apparently. It’s fairly unprecedented, this whole pope stepping down thing and when I heard them talking about it on the radio I was even inclined to tweet.

Obviously  I mean to write 'had to coexist' not 'at to coexist'. That doesn't really mean anything.

Good luck negotiating the transition, Vatican. And happy March 1, y’all.


*According to one website. Wikipedia claims they occurred from February. Maybe that was pretrial. The bit where the lawyers select the jury, try and organise plea bargains, the bit where Corbin Bersen flirts with the pretty lawyer on the other team. That bit.

**This is not actually true. To the best of my knowledge. Also, if Catholic God exists please don’t damn me. I’d like to think you have a sense of humour.

On this day (AM)

It's the first day of March everybody! That means summer is technically over and 2013 begins in earnest. I'm not kidding this time. The year has fully begun.
A bunch of other stuff has happened on previous firsts of March too, you may be interested (though unsurprised) to know.

Did you know that on this day, at some point in the 1990s, Justin Bieber was born? Yep.

And on this day, in 1893, Nikola Tesla gave the first public demonstration of radio? Yep.

And on this day in 1953, Stalin had a stroke that would kill him, four days later?

All true.

Also, on this day in real time,  after handing in his badge and gun yesterday, Pope Benedict the XVI stopped being pope and just started being Joey Ratzinger again.

I think it's safe to say that maybe, PBCXVI isn't much of a mensch, so this is really a good thing.
Anyway, bye Pope, and happy first of March to everyone else.

When we were kids (PM)

Going to the dentist and shining one's shoes are wholesome and good things to do.
But I'm having one of those days where I am so busy with my adult life work responsibilities that there's no time for important things like that. There's barely time for eating lollies and daydreaming about being an astronaut.

Truth be told, I never daydreamed about being an astronaut when I was little. I thought about space a lot though. About how big it is and how that's where ET lives now, which made me feel a mixture of love and sadness. Which is kind of what childhood, and the film ET are like.

And according to the NASA website, this is what space food is like.

Lollies and shortbread! I should have daydreamed MORE. I could be eating all of this in zero gravity right now.

When we were kids (AM)

It's funny how there are things you do as kids that you just don't seem to do as adults. I don't mean like wanting to eat lollies all the time or riding around your backyard with your brother pretending you are astronauts. I know why you don't do that stuff. Kind of. Actually, I barely know why you don't want to play astronauts as an adult. I mean, I like to imagine things, sit around fantasising about some alternate life. Usually one where I have this great house and have friends over all the time for amazing dinners I make, one where I have this really fulfilling job that is not only super-fulling and lucrative but also requires me to wear wonderful clothes from time to time.* And maybe if I spent a few extra minutes in my head it would eventually lead to a fantasy about being an astronaut. I mean, that would probably be really fulfilling and pretty lucrative and maybe if you were at the top of your game you'd be invited to things where you can wear nice clothes. And I am not forgetting space. SPACE you guys! Being in space would rule.** The best thing! Anyway if having an imaginary life in your brain is good, why don't we play games about being astronauts and shit. Ok, I don't really get it at all.

But that isn't even what I am talking about. I'm talking about boring things that happened in childhood that don't happen now. Like shining shoes. In truth I barely did that as a child/teenager. But I remember Chickpea doing it. She went to a posh private school, while I went to the private school where drug dealers and kids expelled from all the fancy private schools went. I was neither a drug dealer nor expelled, mostly it was a question of geography and a realisation that we didn't belong in the posh private school. Yada yada yada, I rarely had to polish my shoes. But it seems like a thing from my youth. Check it out you guys, this week I polished some shoes. They are my favourite shoes, they are tan and great and really scuffed up and dirty now, so I polished them and they look great! I'm not going to show you a picture, because you don't know what they looked like before so you'll probably think the after photo is a before photo. But trust me guys, shoe polishing is great, just because you don't have a parent telling you to do it, doesn't mean you should forget about it.

How about going to the dentist. I used to do that all the time; when I was a child and my parents were responsible for my oral hygiene. Not now though. Probably hadn't been for about 5 years. Until this week! Now that I ma responsible for someone else's oral hygiene so I took our mouths into my hands and went to the dentist. I wish I could be as excited about this as the shoe polish. On the upside, my teeth were even cleaner than my shoes when I left the dentist. On the downside, dentists charge you hundreds of dollars for looking at your teeth and polishing them and finding holes they want to charge you heaps more money for filling. On the upside I feel better about myself as a citizen and a mother, so on the whole I guess going to the dentist was at least as rewarding as polishing my shoes.

I'm going to find some other activities of my youth that may benefit my life. Yeah!


*Shit, I have given way too much away about my inner life.
**I spent some time imagining my life as an astronaut at this point in the writing on the post, and guess what! It was awesome

Shorties (PM)

Who doesn't love a shortie?! And those shorties you made, mate, look so effing good. I want one. Those little bastards sound delicious. That icing... get the hell outta here! And icing is not a thing that ever gets me excited. Also now I understand why you may or may not have been a little absent during the Oscars. Who wouldn't be paying more attention to a delicious biscuit than that ridiculous excuse for entertainment.

Funnily enough I also made a shortbread-like biscuit recently. In that it was a biscuit that is super buttery, quite crumbly and very effing delicious. You see last Saturday was Purim, a lesser-known/celebrated Jewish holiday. And by coincidence my family were getting together for lunch. Apparently one is supposed to eat a biscuit called a hamataschen. So I made some. Also mum bought some from the local Jewish bakery. Here are mine and the professional ones side by side.

Mine are the messy ones in front. Obviously.

I used this recipe from Smitten Kitchen and I am not kidding when I say that they were fan-fricking-tastic. There was some debate over the lunch table as to whether mine or the pro biscuits were better. Everyone thought my actual biscuit was better but there was division over who had a better poppy seed filling. The commercial one was more full poppy seed flavour. Like, traditional flavour. Mine on the other hand was a bit more... not traditional. The poppy seed is ground

then dressed up with with Grand Marnier, orange zest, lemon juice. These are probably largely unnecessary.

The bought biscuit was more dense and mine was more buttery, lighter, lemony. And on the whole I think it was a generally superior biscuit. Like, if you just want to eat the sweet poppy seed goo, sure, buy a commercial biscuit, but if you want to eat a delicious effing biscuit, eat the Smitten kitchen one.

On a sidenote, thanks Scotland for sending great things like shortbread on Ewan our way.

Shorties (AM)

Scotland has given Miss Soft Crab two of our favourite things: Ewan McGregor and shortbread.

It's also given me black pudding which I love very much but there is no way I'm getting the J-Crab on board with that. So let's stick to Ewan and shorties. Or to be more precise, let's stick to shorties, because Wednesday is Miss Soft Crab's new food day and I think we've said all we need to say about Ewan.

 

So, shortbread.

I love shortbread.

I love how solid and sturdy it is, and how it crumbles so satisfyingly at first bite. I love how it tastes like butter. I love how it is plain and simple in its deliciousness, how without pretension it is. I love how it goes with a cup of tea.

 

Sometimes I think I'll make shortbread to have around the house for when people drop by for a cup of tea, and up until the moment that I burn my tongue on that first piping hot bite of shortie I actually think people are going to drop by for a cup of tea.

Here are some pistachio shortbread I made at Christmas

 

The other night I made some in order to win the hearts and minds of the team of people I am 'directing' while I temporarily assume the position of Director while my real boss is in Scotland, the home of shortbread and Ewan McGregor.

 

Instead of the traditional shortie, I made this, which is more of a shortbread-like slice. Some might call it a bastardisation of true shortbread because it doesn't include ground rice, used in a proper shortie, the thing that gives it that lovely crumbly texture. And it's covered in icing made from golden syrup and butter and ginger. So sure, those that call it a bastardisation are some accurate bastards. But what a delicious bastardisation it is. The butteryness, the crumble, the gooeyness of the icing against that sturdy biscuit base.  Go ahead and bastardise away.

 

I do, however, think it could use more ginger. Especially in the icing. By following the recipe I got a hint of ginger, but was left wanting more, perhaps enough so there is a lingering sensation of heat. If one is going to bastardise, one should bastardise boldly, should one not?

 

Regardless, because I may or may not have been making it while e-chatting with J during the oscars ceremony, I have no photos of the process.

But this is what it looks like when I eat the leftovers at my desk with a coffee.

Mmmm