Reflections on pigeon shit

A pigeon shat on me today. It was very surprising. It was also weird because just the other day I had been thinking about the fact that birds never shit on me. The reason I was thinking that was because in NYC, you can't walk five paces without seeing a pigeon or a sparrow. Looking at all these birdies everywhere made think about how lucky I have been, to avoid the falling shit of a bird. It would be so gross and embarrassing! I thought to myself. Boy am I a lucky girl! I also thought

It happened when I was walking down west 58th street, feeling good about myself for making the effort to go west side*. It took me a little while to realise what had happened. It hit me on my right shoulder, and splashed on to both my bag, (which I was carrying on my right shoulder) and my hand (which was holding the strap of my bag). As expected, it was gross and embarrassing. The grossest bit was the fact that it was really, really warm. I just had no idea that it would be that warm. It was also brown. Not brown and white, like you imagine bird shit to be. Just plain brown. Again, I had no idea it would be just brown.
I found the experience a little distressing, and as a result I inadvertently walked around the same block twice. But on the second trip, a car drove past with the song this song blaring and it really turned my mood around. I found a nice looking sushi place and bought all of this:

Now I'm back at the hotel, eating those jalapeno chips and watching the series finale of The Office.

I heart NY.

* I was also feeling good about myself because a man who was trying to sell me something in Central Park told me that I had the face of an actress. Even though he was trying to sell me something, I was feeling good because he kept it general, which allowed me to imagine that he meant this:

rather than: